The looser

Lifestyle Relationships
1

After dumping wife and two beautiful children want to marry the “other girl”.

Now appealing for his family to support him on this, what they could do?

2

Re: The looser

Kick him out with his other girl ...

3

Re: The looser

Yes!

This is what we told him, we were very angry for divorce not matter how horrible the wife was (she was horrible), but he should compromise for sake of children.

I suspect he was not in the mode to compromise because of the other girl.

Now we told him, he is free to remarry anyone except that person, if really do it he need to leave the family.

Stupid bugger, he lose children, now he going to lose family just for sake of this not so beautiful girl who happened to be his staff.

4

Re: The looser

someone once said this to me "jo apni aulaad ka nahi hua woh kisi aur ka kaisay ho sakta hai ?" same applies to this man , if he could not love his children he can not love anyone else in this world. may be the wife was so called horrible wife because he made her to become one , same applies again if he did not love his children how could he love his wife ? I think he is horrible person & does not deserve to be called a human being. Even janwaars love their babies.

let the guy do whatever he wants , don't support him .....let him go & better cut off ties with him. because he will leave his family too for the girl.....that I am very sure of !

5

Re: The looser

Well, women are manipulative and men are easy to manipulate. What can you say. This is indeed unfortunate. His wife should have known better than to be a ***** in the first place. Compromise is a two-way street.

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Re: The looser

You dont have two kids with a horrible wife

Who knows what the other side of the story is

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Re: The looser

:k:

also I would like to add if she was so horrible then why did he leave his 2 children with her ? why did his family leave their kids with the so called horrible woman ?

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Re: The looser

She could be a great mother.

9

Re: The looser

True that! Everyone woman is. No matter how hard to pretend that they are not.

10

Re: The looser

First of all Pakistan legal system always support women for child custody matter, there is no other option for him.

Another thing, I was extensively involved in effort to save marriage, on base of what I realized I hate both.

She was abusive, used to assault him from start, also admitted having affair during marriage. She also confessed to making his life difficult in order to force him to divorce her.

I even told her if this is what she want then let her elders involve we reach some solution, but she told me that they would not support her on this. Thus want to make sure he would take blame.

On his side he also have an affair with other girl but always denied to us, we feels betrayed and used by him.

I am not sure what made them to have affair, either because she was so abusive that other girl was his staff at that time not so beautiful but a soft spoken person managed to win his heart.

On other side it is quite possible that, because of his affair Croce her to reconnect with her old flame.

Only god know the truth, but there is no angle here.

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Re: The looser

And you are still blaming the husband? Seriously, how much more spineless must men become to be accepted by today's secular agenda?

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Re: The looser

He had an affair so does she, to me both were equally dirty. most important thing was to make things work for sake of children.

He lost my sympathies the moment it confirmed there was serious extramarital relationship.

I wonder if things could still worked out had no 3rd party involved.

Now I simpaly do not trust him, and there is no way if I could accept the "3rd party" as legitimate sister in law at my household I do not mind if he decide to marry someone else.

In anycase she is not an innocent victim (the girl get into relationship with a married person could not be victim at all).

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Re: The looser

I am not sure why would you be ok with him marrying anyone else but that "specific" person? Is he going to get his kids back if he marries another person. I am just curious how would that change things?

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Re: The looser

The only hope for us getting back the kids is if she decided to remarry, may be they would feel kids would be better off at father side. As we are more then happy to have them.

The "specific person" is not everyday innocent girl had a major impact on what happened to our family.

My mother died longing for her grandchildren, they were even not allowed to see her one last time.

I could not accept or respect her at my household a sister in law deserve.

On other side, ex wife happened to be niece of my brother in law, thus this divorce created some strains in my sister's household. But my BIL chose to support her (because he believe him).

If he marries that person, means alligation against him proven, Can that marriage survive that fresh storm.

He is just a selfish person, made use of us earlier and want us to support him against our sister's interests.

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Re: The looser

So the guy in this story, im assuming is your brother. From everything I've read and tried to understand, seems like he was putting up with his wife's crap from day one. So he was a victim in his marriage. He opted to turn elsewhere, where he found the '3rd party' girl..who now he wants to marry.

If you can see the game his wife has played..as she has said she KNOWS no one will support her, so she created a situation in which HE will be forced to divorce her due to extremely harsh circumstances created and plotted by her..then i think you cant blame this guy.

...thats if im understanding the story properly.

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Re: The looser

I heard abt a middle aged banker uncle who did that. His wife and grown kids kicked him out their home. Now, he lives alone and keeps trying to find excuses to sneak back.

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Re: The looser

Yes you are right on the most of the things, i do not wish to defend the wife, but when you have children one could not simply walk away.

Divorcing a wife because of infidelity, and bad behavior and attitude is justifiable, had he done it because this we would have no problem but he got into the relationship.

I suppose both of them were playing game to bring their families to support them, she was granddaughter of super rich family, most of their son in laws from poor background totally depend on them financially, thus willing to take all sort of craps.

It was first time two sisters (her sister also marries to my cousin) married to financially independent families, and news at other side also not good either (no divorce though).

Since her family is so powerful, he also need his family to collectively stand behind him, from there he also started playing gallery to us (we were not aware of 3rd part then).

No doubt she was volatile person, but when she decided to come clean and confessed to me about her scheming to get rid of him, and her relationship with other guy. It was clear sign that she want give it a try to make this marriage work.

Then this guy is not willing to give her that chance, as he is very handsome and she was very insecure about him because of this. I suspect he know how to play with her sensitivities make her blast for all of us to see the show (that is where i started getting angry with him) in order to get us on his side.

That is where "3rd Party" is become part of problem, and no 3rd party involved he might try to find a solution for sake of children.

In any case she did accuse him having relationship with this girl, she was his secretory and we did not realized that they have any relationship more then professional he denied we took his words and stand behind him.

And today he is seeking our blessing to marry her, we feel we have taken for ride.

On top of that how about my sister married to maternal uncle of ex wife. Despite all family pressure he refuse to punish my sister, partially he chose to believe our version rather then their.

Wouldn't that marriage would make things difficult for her?

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Re: The looser

Oh, so first when he was having problems in marriage, and was being blamed for an extramarital relationship, he denied it, and so you guys supported him, and now turns out that he DOES have that relationship and so you guys feel ashamed for supporting him.

Well, before and after all this, what about HER extramarital relationship. You and ur family dont have to support the fact that he HAD/HAS the relationship, but rather try to figure out why he did that. And, why are you making it seem like its only HIS responsibility to make it work and live through hell for the kids, as the wife is also responsible for her actions.

She enticed him into the divorce, he knew she wanted a divorce, he wasnt satisfied so mentally must have opted for the divorce, and slipped and got in a relationship bc he knew his 'family' situation was out of control.

I really feel pity for the guy. Although an extramarital relationship is not allowed at any cost, I think you guys should not completely banish him from the family. I say support him in wanting out of the marriage and at all the wrong actions of his wife. Woh nibha nahi saki shaadi, aur iss bechareh ko bhi pagal kiya. But tell him that as far as this other girl goes, you will not support him in that.

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Re: The looser

All relationship must be base on trust when someone tells you lies regarding most important matter

We only could speculate that he got into relationship because of wife's behavior, i know many people they have good family yet get into this kind of crap.

When someone his young and handsome (he is very handsome) with money they do these kind of things without any reason.

We have no sympathy with wife, we all agree she was worst person for our family, and we are not angry with him because of his divorcing her, all our problem is telling lies at that time.

We were not asking him to put up with abuse, I am sure if this girl not involve we would certainly find a solution where everyones interests could be protected.

Anyway the best we could offer him, if he really want the girl then to take up his shares and move out of family and do whatever he want to do with his own life we want to have nothing of this.

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Re: The looser

Sometime makes me wonder if a marriage really worth all this crap . Scary stuff . May Allah make things easy for them . Ameen .