Re: The looser
^true that! now adays, is it even worth! to me marriages almost seems like a life-threatening life-long risk!
Yeah, tipu, i see where you are coming from. Well what you have suggested seems to be the right step. As far as his interests with the girl are concerned he should be let out to be on his own without u or families support. I agree.
Re: The looser
Well, women are manipulative and men are easy to manipulate. What can you say. This is indeed unfortunate. His wife should have known better than to be a ***** in the first place. Compromise is a two-way street.
Men are manipulative but in disguise.
They know very well how to get out of a situation without getting an inch of the blame.
Re: The looser
Sometime makes me wonder if a marriage really worth all this crap . Scary stuff . May Allah make things easy for them . Ameen .
Namaan what happen here is just exception not rule, so one should not worry about this kind of things too much.
But doing right amount of homework is very important (we have done it but unfortunately they were too good in camouflaging themselves).
I would certainly avoid to have any relationship from so called rich and high profile families, the girl from that type would mostly come with an attitude. Plus they are so used to have their own way they would not help if you have genuine issue with their daughter.
I know someone nikah with a Generals daughter, in Pakistan. As he was studying oversea there was no Rukusati, and some how the girl changed her mind and asked for divorce. To my surprise even her father also supported her, and they guy has no choice but divorce the wife.
Re: The looser
First of all Pakistan legal system always support women for child custody matter, there is no other option for him.
Another thing, I was extensively involved in effort to save marriage, on base of what I realized I hate both.
She was abusive, used to assault him from start, also admitted having affair during marriage. She also confessed to making his life difficult in order to force him to divorce her.
I even told her if this is what she want then let her elders involve we reach some solution, but she told me that they would not support her on this. Thus want to make sure he would take blame.
On his side he also have an affair with other girl but always denied to us, we feels betrayed and used by him.
I am not sure what made them to have affair, either because she was so abusive that other girl was his staff at that time not so beautiful but a soft spoken person managed to win his heart.
On other side it is quite possible that, because of his affair Croce her to reconnect with her old flame.
Only god know the truth, but there is no angle here.
If what you are describing is true then i dont see why shouldnt you support him. Do you expect him to be celibate for rest of his life. I wouldnt blame him for having an affair if he had such a terrible wife, who also wanted to have a divorce.
Re: The looser
If what you are describing is true then i dont see why shouldnt you support him. Do you expect him to be celibate for rest of his life. I wouldnt blame him for having an affair if he had such a terrible wife, who also wanted to have a divorce.
No sir!
We are not asking to remain celibate for life.
All we are asking him to stay away from the girl who was part of story (as 3rd party), in any case (it very rear but not impossible) for a decent girl would fall for married guy.
She (the 3rd party) was actually working for him, and suppose to marry someone else, but she dump him and opt for married boss. I am not sure if it genuine love or some gold digger taking advantage of his situation.
Re: The looser
No sir!
We are not asking to remain celibate for life.
All we are asking him to stay away from the girl who was part of story (as 3rd party), in any case (it very rear but not impossible) for a decent girl would fall for married guy.
She (the 3rd party) was actually working for him, and suppose to marry someone else, but she dump him and opt for married boss. I am not sure if it genuine love or some gold digger taking advantage of his situation.
Hmm....... Well then just tell him of your opinion. Tell him to give it more time and consider other options. He is divorced now and needs to move on with life. Though he shudnt have given up on his kids so soon. He shud have done everything to keep his kids. He could have told her wife that he will divorce only on condition of keeping custody of kids. Looks like a very weak person who gets abused by his wife and then looses the kids too.
Re: The looser
if due to the pressure that you (his family) is putting on him he gets married to some other girl and not the girl for whom he left his wife & children then I think you are just setting him up for another divorce. Why do you want to destroy some other girl's life again ? I don't think he will be nice to any other girl . If he can leave a woman with whom he fathered 2 kids and also leave his own flesh & blood then I doubt he will be loyal to the new wife too. I am pretty sure he will also leave his 2nd wife for his gf. Let him marry the one he wants and please don't drag some innocent girl in this mess.
Re: The looser
First of all Pakistan legal system always support women for child custody matter, there is no other option for him.
Another thing, I was extensively involved in effort to save marriage, on base of what I realized I hate both.
She was abusive, used to assault him from start, also admitted having affair during marriage. She also confessed to making his life difficult in order to force him to divorce her.
I even told her if this is what she want then let her elders involve we reach some solution, but she told me that they would not support her on this. Thus want to make sure he would take blame.
On his side he also have an affair with other girl but always denied to us, we feels betrayed and used by him.
I am not sure what made them to have affair, either because she was so abusive that other girl was his staff at that time not so beautiful but a soft spoken person managed to win his heart.
On other side it is quite possible that, because of his affair Croce her to reconnect with her old flame.
Only god know the truth, but there is no angle here.
Pakistani law does support mother in case of custody BUT no law can take away visitation rights of any parent. Plus , I don't know if your brother is paying or not but she (his ex wife) is entitles to Child Support and can sue him for that any time.
I am surprised that the so called HORRIBLE WOMAN did not dump her children on him. Because if she was so horrible then she should have left the kids with their dad and should have carried on with her life and should have married her love. I think your brother is the one who has gained most from his divorce. She is the one who is left with 2 kids to be raised on her own. I think she was not a janwaar thats why she did not leave her kids.
Your brother sounds like a nanha kakaa to me who was being abused by his wife , then he was soo unhappy in his marriage that he resorted to have an affair and his gf is verrrry chalaak that's why he got trapped. He is sooo innocent that halaat made him do all bad things.
Mr. Tipu it's very easy to place the blame on someone else. But in the eyes of Allah we all are responsible & answerable for our own deeds. There is no justification for extra marital affair neither for man nor for woman. There is no justification for dumping your kids. You can not blame anyone for divorce , if he gave it he is responsible for it. He is not a robot God has given him brain too.
I just don't understand how he made 2 kids with a wife who was so horrible & abusive.
Re: The looser
^Thats nothing unusual. People have dozen kids in bad marriages. People work on marriage, think it will work out, till the time they feel its all over, by that time, they have had popped out 2-3 kids.
Re: The looser
I guess I’ll have to agree.