Hi Jalebi,
Forgive me, but reading about your parent's behavior made me angry. I can only imagine how you feel. You are absolutely right that if your parents were so against this guy, they should have put an end to this rishta YEARS AGO. Instead they chose to lead this guy on and toy with his feelings by giving him the impression that they are interested. That's wrong......and what's even more wrong is how your parents don't even realize their mistake and are using emotional blackmail to make YOU feel guilty for their mistakes. Rejection is never easy but at least one can do it respectfully. When you have cooled down, try to explain to your parents that they should imagine putting themselves in the guy's parents' shoes. Ask them nicely, how would you like it if a family that you were interested in for rishta treated me (your daughter) or your son like this?
I'm trying to understand why your parents are acting like this. Is it a fear of losing control? A fear of you leaving the nest? Do they feel you have replaced them with this guy and will love them less? Or have they placed more emphasis on education than other things? Education is important, however too much of anything is not good. Here are my suggestions:
1) You need to try and calm down. Because if you try to have a discussion with your parents when you're feeling angry and defensive, it will only backfire. So with a cool mind, plan out how you will approach this discussion because it needs to take place in an orderly fashion.
2) Talk to your parents and start off by telling them that you love them.......that this rishta doesn't mean that you love them any less or that this guy is replacing your parents. Start it off in a positive way by telling your parents this.....and say that you appreciate all that they've done for you. And then proceed to discuss your concerns. Try to placate them by telling them that you do value your education and that you're not putting those plans on hold. And give your mom examples of how you plan to meet your educational goals. And tell your mom that you feel hurt by her false accusation of you being "desperate for a honeymoon" because such a statement/accusation does carry a rather inappropriate connotation. And then try to address their concerns that his parents don't like you by giving positive examples that show his parents DO like you. You're basically asking your parents to explain the reservations that they have about his guy........and after listening to what they are......you will try to mitigate their fears. Open communication needs to take place without emotional blackmail.
3) If you're still keen on this guy, you can attempt to discuss with him the fears your parents have. I don't know if this will make the guy angry or if he'll try to support you. You know him better than I do. Once he knows about your parents' fears (him living far away, education, difference of nationality etc)............he might discuss this with his parents in a tactful way. And then a meeting can be arranged where BOTH families can discuss these concerns. And I think that YOU AND GUY should be present during this meeting between families. Perhaps in the process, your parents will feel more relaxed when he can explain to them how he plans to support you with education/distance, etc. And maybe he can even encourage his parents to tell your parents how much they like you. Basically the families need to talk........because this can't just be settled by the two of you.
PS: Ur post may not be the longest, ;)