Oh i dont mind kids wearing what they want :) and these days they have such strong opinions as to what they want to wear to a particular function etc....My cousin when he was 4 wanted to wear the clothes of his choice and not what his mom wanted him to....and i have another cousin...she is just 13 and likes to design her clothes :)
But i was referring to what was mentioned by sadzzz
**i havent been commuting much by train these days but last week i had the chance to.. so its busy afterwork traffic.. and i get off at my trainstop to get on the next train and i see this girl there.. a lil on the chubby side, very cute.. couldnt be more than 12-13.. she's wearing this hot pink skirt thats passed her naval.. and is barely covering her butt.. and on top this tight black shirt.. dark black eyeliner and caked on foundation...
i feared for her safety... some sick people are on trains at that time.. perverted idiots.. and where are these kids parents? do they not see what their kids are wearing.. sheesh..**
So shouldnt kids be dressing their age? rather then pretending to be something they are not?
Matsui - Slowly people are coming around, one by one by one.......
I agree, too. And you made some real good points M_M. Also wanted to say a person who abuses doesn't usually look at the way a kid/person looks, it is vulnerability and a look of innocence that attracts them. One can have those traits dressed head to toe in a burlap bag.
I often wonder why there is such a rush to grow up, if only they knew just how BORING it is once you grow up :D
Angel of course they should, but lovey, kids are kids...they will do as they please...in my opinion kids shouldn't even have PS2's, mobile phones, Ipods etc i mean damn it, i dont even have an Ipod!! :(
I have to admit when I was in primary school, aged 7 or so my friends were playing kiss-catch with the boys. I can’t imagine what 7 year olds are getting upto now.
I have seen a fair number of very decent kids in 12-18 age bracket. Polite, friendly and performing excellent in their schools in academics and sports. I think, it has to do a lot with the atmosphere you maintain the home and the values you instill in your kids. Mind you, even siblings can turn out in very different ways, so there is definitely a factor of individual character.
As parents our responsibility and our hope should be to expose our kids to only age-appropriate contents (TV, music, vidoes etc) and patiently, constantly and consistently tell them what we feel is good and bad. At some point, they will be on their own making their own decisions, and you would hope you have given them enough knowledge and confidence to make the right decisions for themselves and those around them.
funguy: leave it to you to do line-maaring in the "right" threads.
This also reminds me of an incident - when I was counseling over the telephone, one of the calls was from this 13 year old kid...
He wanted help on choosing which girl to make his girlfriend. Girl A apparently was in his class, while Girl B was in some other class. Girl B was more fun to talk with on the phone, but he saw Girl A every day in class. Both girls liked him and were demanding him to stop two-timing them and choose already.
I was like..."do your parents know anything?" and he was like "Aw hell no! What you think I am? A RETARD??"
Well, we're not allowed to pass judgements - just help them think their problem thru.
So, through my choice in questions, I was trying to lead him onto choosing to wait a little before having a relationship - which didn't work. He basically said he wants one, that is definite.
So, then I tried to get him to pick the more meaningful one. He said he'd think about it and let me know. Never heard from him again.
when kids dress a certain way, like it or not they will get a certain response, their attire might suggest a greater level of sophistication than they have, which could get them into situations they r not ready or able to deal with.
E.g. 13 year old girls in school uniform look like kids, a bit of make up and a certain dress and they look like 18 year old ladies. would they really know how to interpret the advances of a 20 year old guy?
It's just sad how kids are turning out to be total...bumholes in simpler words. I often talk to this coworker about this stuff and she's Greek and HATES kids acting all mature. She tells me stories of junior high kids all the time. She told me once when she was on the bus there was a bunch of junior high kids (most probably 7 graders) talking loundly. They were in the very back of the bus and my coworker was in the front. These kids were so loud that even she could hear everything clearly. So this kid was talking to his friend about some girl and goes "...hey so man what are you gonna do then...are you gonna f*** that chick or what?... you gonna suck her..."....It wasn't funny but I did laugh at that and had my eyes wide open. Even I get to hear kids talking about stuff in the bus and usually it's some girl topic. I mean...how can they be attracted to girls in that early age? It's just shocking to see kids now a days turning into total bums talking about crap like that. If that's the case then all these countries may turn out to have absolute horny as$holes doing nothing. This is just sad.
Destinee worry not. Even the most educated and successful people in this country are horny a-holes. Take our politicians for example, for whom my friend in Tallahassee arranges escorts for them - they'll take out the ladies on political dinners and then they screw them afterwards. Lucky Ducky - she knows exactly who is screwing who in our state's capitol city.
Another example - I was walking down the hall the other day after coming home from class, and this kid was standing there with his friend - down the hall some girl was going back into her room...he waited for her to get into her room and then he described how good she was to screw. And he used words like the f-word to describe it - clearly no spiritual experience! And this kid is no imbecile - he's a really good student - preppy - very well behaved - always says hello to me - I turned around in complete shock to look at him, and then he noticed me and got all red.
YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE - my old crush from high school - the one that is at Yale now (probably graduated already) - yeah, in high school he was the valedictorian of one class above me. His best friend, to make me jealous, sent my best friend a picture with my crush's head literally crushed between two bare naked breasts of two women - their heads were not featured in the picture, only their chests.
Serendipiti - again, that is not the fault of the child, but the adult. Children will experiment with different things make-up, clothes, swearing but they are still children trying "grown-up" stuff. They are still children. Why blame the child, definitely blame the 20 yr old, he knows better. No matter how much make-up and what clothes - a 12 yr old looks like a 12 yr old, if it is too hard to tell visually (and it isn't that hard) then as soon as they talk, it is obvious.
They shouldn't have to interpret advances, the advances never should be made.
minah pa, I disagree - kids are kids, but at the age of 12, one should have sense. Dont tell me they have no part to play when they themselves are dressing like sluts. A lot of these kids are dressing this way despite what their parents teach them.
Of course, the 20 year old making advances on them is a big culprit as well, and has even more responsibility to be careful. But I disagree with 12 year olds being dismissed as not knowing any better. They do.
Its how our mistake!!!.. in today's world we go after "fake" role models. Becoming to look and act like Shahrukh Khan (just an example) is becoming more and more common... if you don't have girl friend you feel like "out of the crowd"
I am telling you this from a personal experience. When i moved to Canada, i was very naive. Didn't knw much about "world".. heck i had my own concept of world and what not.. was young.. around 15yrs old.
Before moving to canada, I must say i had really good friends in Pak. Those who would care about each other. Anyways, Canada was a different experience. First up the high school had a very different environment. I had to deal with the situations and "pick" my friends. coz i knew 1 wrong circle of friends and i will end up smoking or drinking!!!
It is very important, in my point of view, that we know whom our kids are hanging out with. Make sure you teach them what is right and what is wrong and inshaAllah they will have the sense of picking the right versus wrong.. In today's world we get the word "Sex" shoved down our throat daily.. really pick any magazine and see the common advertisements!
Forexample, in a gillete comercial .. it should be all about the razor instead it is about how you can get "girls" to revolve around you if you shave with gillete. stuff like this seems harmless to someone of us but it does have an effect on us no matter who we are.. we need to think positive and keep our children on the positive side.. teach them the difference between right and wrong :)
Lots of very good points here, Ive always thought of it as a mixture of influences ie peer pressure and tv, commercials, family environment, etc
Ive talked to many parents who are worried about these pressures and influences and the only solution they can think of is that they should return their child to Indai, Paks or Bangladesh.
I find it amusing that they are likely to trade one set of "problems" with another.
I suppose one thing I've learnt from this thread is if I have children Im going to find a little island, with no tv , computor and radio
and leave them there to be brought up by their nanny til they are thirty! (nanny will be of the highest moral character)
^ that'll only work if the nanny is Mary Poppins or Julie Andrews ... I love Julie.
I agree with Matsui. You just have to try and instill values and morals in your children and make sure they are intelligent enough not to give into peer pressure that surrounds them outside of their homes.
