and I am not saying its not your choice to prefer they type of partner you explained
but your generalization just made me realize that some individuals really do consider housewifes to be a ‘full-time-7*24-tied-to-the-cooker-with-a-baby-in-one-arm-and-a-rolling-pin-in-the-other-housewife.’
This is year 2001
women are not supressed here
women are not sold into marriage
women are not deprived of education
women have individualities and personalities
They hold degrees and good jobs
YET
all around me I see more and more women with careers and good jobs who choose to stay at home when they become mothers
So thats what it is to you
a maid and a babysitter
how really very sad
Admin, please take note of Anchal's balatant reply and insulting retort. That is no way of continuing an otherwise informative and educative conversation with set decency rules. Not to mention she publically disparaged my perfect 20/20 vision.
Admn could you also take note of Roman's bila waja harrassment of my hair
There is something really wrong with his otherwise puuuuuurrrfect 20/20 vision
Ok, so the whole point of this discussion is that a woman who just stays at home and takes care of her family is as useful and complete as a woman who does all that and also works in a part-time or full-time capacity to supplement the household income or to fulfill her own career ambitions.
I am sorry, but this doesn't make sense. The woman in our second case is doing a lot more, and hence should be appreciated more. Ofcourse, its possible that while doing so many things she might mess up a few, e.g. the kids are not raised in a exemplary manner, as Rani points out. This is still a chance with a full time housewife. No?
If a girl (unmarried, nonetheless) feels that after marriage she will be be working on her career, and also take care of her family, then she knows that her duties and responsibilities will be much greater than a 'simple' housewife. In such a case, if she says that a simple 'housewife' has an easier life, then whats wrong with it?
If a girl (unmarried, nonetheless) feels that after marriage she will be be working on her career, and also take care of her family, then she knows that her duties and responsibilities will be much greater than a 'simple' housewife. In such a case, if she says that a simple 'housewife' has an easier life, then whats wrong with it?**
[/quote]
The only thing wrong is that somebody else is raising her children (and giving them their values or no values) when she is working therefore she is not doing more work than a housewife. Do u realize that most successful women I have come across have one child..they don't have time and energy to have children and then raise them.
If that is what society values that is the route they should take but soon or later they would be taken over by immigrants from third world, son and daughter of stay at home moms.
PM noooooooooo
quit changing the direction of my discussion
I am quite sure there is a thread bout working mums by Cooldude
your discussion would suit there not here
this thread is not about working mums vs full time houswives
Housewife is a Career in itself
this thread is bout ppl considering housewives to be maids and babysitters
as Pilot's reply clearly shows that the image of a houswife in the minds of ppl is that of a ragged, unkept, baby on the hip and a rolling pin in the other hand person
and as Old Monk who has failed to show up and answer my question
that houswives have no personality
So in conclusion half the women in the world who choose to stay at home and raise their kids, give up their careers and jobs
a. have no personality
b. cook and clean all day
c. are baby producing machines
d. are not companions but rather maids and babysitters
Look, what Pilot said was his personal opinion as to what sort of spouse he wants. No one can or should take anything away from his right to choose.
Now coming back to the perception, the stereotypical housewife which you and Pilot talk about, there is some truth to it. You just need to visit any number of middle class families in Pakistan to get an idea that a woman, a housewife, is just that. But that is perhaps not the typical housewife in western societies or even upper middle class families in eastern societies.
Here (and in modern times) a housewife is doing many things, driving around taking kids to school and to their activities, doing grocery, having social get-to-gethers with her friends, organizing picnics and participating in school activities. These are in addition to her chores in the house. And she is not dull-looking either (well, in most cases
). The average cooking time in most houses has shrunk because the wives do not feel the need to spend endless hours preparing time-consuming dishes. Laundry is automated and dishwashers are getting common.
Rani brings up an important point. I know many working couples who have gotten around to this problem in various ways. Some have grand mothers and aunts looking after the kids and most women only work while the kids are at school, so it becomes a non-issue. Although, there are many cases, where both husbands and wives work long hours (doctors especially) and the kids go from a school to an extended care facility to a night nanny. Sure that sounds pretty tough to us and seems like the couple is making a mistake by putting their kids to such a row of caretakers, but who knows, what priorities the couple has. I hate to be judgemental on such cases. Its their lives and their choices.
With changing times, many ppl seriously doubt it. Especially because women have successfully shown that they can bring up a healthy, happy family and also combine a professional career together.
**Anchal wrote:
So in conclusion half the women in the world who choose to stay at home and raise their kids, give up their careers and jobs
a. have no personality
b. cook and clean all day
c. are baby producing machines
d. are not companions but rather maids and babysitters**
So, after this conclusion of yours, is the dicsussion finished? :)
You seriously arent trying to understand what this thread is all bout and defending working mums which really is not the topic or the idea behind the thread
You wanto discuss, defend, criticize working mums you do that Here
and No the discussion is not over
I am still waiting for Old Monk to come and reply to my question
What Pilot wants is his choice
What he thinks of housewives is his mistake
What he calls em (housemaids and babysitters) is his insulting them
[This message has been edited by Anchal (edited July 03, 2001).]
You are funny. You start a thread, then you only expect certain types of responses so you can thrash them. If someone deviates, you get upset... "hey, this is not about that... I want someone to say xxxx, so I can thrash them, and come out a winner".
Like, hello!!! this is a discussion board. Anyone can respond and give their take on that topic. Stop telling people what they can or can not post. :) And I already gave my views on 'housewives'. Reproducing them again, in case you missed it the first time...
Here (and in modern times) a housewife is doing many things, driving around taking kids to school and to their activities, doing grocery, having social get-to-gethers with her friends, organizing picnics and participating in school activities. These are in addition to her chores in the house. And she is not dull-looking either (well, in most cases ).
Now, if you want to wait for Old Monk or Pilot to come back so you can thrash them... then happy waiting :)
I didnot start this thread and expect certain types of answers
I started this thread to talk bout certain behaviour of certain people that has been disturbing me
and to explain to them that such personal attacks will not be tolerated by myself in the future
there is no point of win or lose the discussion
I am simply stating what I think is a very stupid way of addressing ppl
'you are a blahdy boring housewife what would you know'
I could quote atleast 3 members who have so far taken the liberty to stoop down to making such a personal comment like being a housewife is the lowest thing ever
But, I did not start the thread to have a discussion about working mums
You are most welcome to post if you want about working mums, but the fact still remains thats not what the topic is about
The fact that every time you post a new reply, you deviate from the topic and start with your own dairh eent ki masjid is fairly annoying
Ofcourse this is a discussion board and ofcourse everybody is allowed to discuss
but nobody discusses Wasim's score in the last match in the Religion forum
and i simply asked Old Monk what he really meant when he stated that housewives dont have any personalities
He stated that being a housewife somehow inhibits one's personaity growth ..how come?
[This message has been edited by Anchal (edited July 03, 2001).]
Somehow your definition of ‘housewife’ is contrary to popular perception. You seem to think that even if you are working in an office and coming home in the evening, take care of your kids and your home, you are still a ‘part time housewife’. If that is the case, then this is a moot thread, because every married woman with kids, regardless of whether she has a career and a profession outside her home, where she works 8 hours daily, is still a ‘housewife’ (per your definition). So, there is no point in putting down a ‘housewife’ cz every woman is a ‘housewife’.
Its like saying “all human beings are no-good” (welcome to the club now, you are also a human being).
How come I never realized I am also a “househusband” (a “part-time househusband”, to be exact)! Kewl logic. Darn!
ps. Maybe they (whoever they are) just meant to say that you are “blahdy boring” and that you “don’t know much”. And you took all your anger at the word “housewife” … just a thought.
pps. Now lets all wait for the elusive ‘Old Monk’ so he can satisfy your curiousity. And oh yes, where is Pilot? Pls come fellas and put this matter to rest. All the others, pls stay away.
[This message has been edited by Peacemaker (edited July 03, 2001).]
first you wanted to discuss working mums
now you wanna talk bout househusbands
nai nai ofcourse discussion forum, your right, go ahead blah and blah
but dont doubt my capabilites when it comes to differing between harmless taunts and serious attacks
looking at the traffic(participants) in the thread
I’d say my purpose has been fulfilled
** Sadi so you think ppl around here are jealous of you? **
Dahling, u realy must get out of this ego centric world of urs … I wasn’t directly referring to you … I was talking about ‘real women’ in ‘real life’ but then I wouldn’t expect you to know much about that cuz ur whole life revolves around playing cyber make belief
** that doesnot give anybody the right to call them housewives as if it was the worst thing on the face of the earth **
Urm come again? I was referring to ** you ** as a boring person, not to ur role as a housewife. Looking after a family is the most demandng job in the world, and not for one minute would I suggest that my mother (a * real * housewife) leads a boring life. Hell, she’s not got a spare minute in the day. You on the other hand, spend days on end posting pics of actresses and going out of ur way to annoy pple which leads me to the conclusion that u really must have a boring life. Hope I’ve cleared up a few things for you
** ppl who do that are somehow insecure of themselves rather then be the target of jealousy **
This whole thread is based around ur inscurity dahling. All I did was make an observation … and u’ve made such a big deal out of it … guilty conscience maybe?
Why don’t u start a college course? Maybe that’ll give you something to think about and stop you from sounding so bitter and twisted
like i said justifications wont do it here
dont make me barf
I didnot address the thread to someone in particular
why feel the need to come running justifying and explaining?
Your presence here is in itself the proof that you do feel guilty,
that even though you dont know me you still took full liberty of, at various times, to target my mothering capabilites, my lifestyle and my married life
dont make me quote you …
I confronted, you came running
insecurity or ego centric on my part
or just a immature way of dealing with situations and then come running to justify your actions on your part
whatever it is, dont do it again Simple
Ps. If i take time out to post pics because I am leading a very boring life, then those who open the thread and take time to see the same pics and comment on them, must be living an equally boring life …hope I have helped clear a few things
Well the choice of being a housewife or not lies with the woman and i do agree with all Anchal has said.
It has to be one of the toughest jobs around IF u do it properly and the rewards are far greater than any other career.
People who look down on housewifes are just plain ignorant.
the safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket
Come off it Anchal, even some1 as dim as you can’t be * that * ignorant. You used quotes (out of context, may i add) to make out that I felt superior to women who choose to become housewives. All I’ve tried to do in this thread is * justify * what i said.
You use my quotes and yet you try telling me that this thread was not intended at me? Oh pulease, gimme some credit
And hows about you take a good look at urself Anchal. You don’t know * me * or anything about me for that matter, yet you think it’s acceptable to call me a cheap bed hopping slag
I’d much rather be called boring than have my sexual morals put into question.
Please, go ahead and use any quotes you like. Unlke you, I’ll be able to justify what i said every single time.
As for ur P.S, trust me girl, I know so many pple on Gupshup who completely ignore any threads posted by you over in the image gallery. Everyone learns from their mistakes.
I really hope this has cleared up everything and you won’t feel the urge to bitch back at some1 as immature as myself.
Isn't this thread supposed to be about housewives, or is it about who leads a boring life and why they shouldn't post pics of this that or the other?
Don't most working couples have to share workload these days? In theory anyway. I guess that's what makes this a a taboo topic - desi men doing the ironing. Talk about an 18+ subject.
