The 'I dont want to be a blahdy boring housewife' Syndrome

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Ever come across individuals who suffer from this syndrome

I have, countless times
They use the term housewife as it was some kinda achoot or a gali or a degrading term

and every time i tend to laugh at their non-knowledgeable comments

what would they know
No really, what would they know
It is the most satisfactory, rewarding and the most difficult of jobs ever

and mind you, its not all bout cleaning, cooking or ironing
its also about providing emotional support, being a mother figure, a shoulder lent to cry and settle down, a shrink and a advisor

The only difference, you will say is that housewives dont get paid

oooo boy you are so wrong
They do get paid,
every time tiny arms go around your neck its a reward
every time your lil one says ‘mum i luv you’ its a reward
every time you see the love in their eyes and know that you are the reason for the love, its a reward

This fib that people tend to generalize on that a housewife sits infront of the telly all day watching soaps and eating chocolate
thats what it is, Only a fib

I could sit here and type all the stuff a housewife does
but i dont need to, look into your own homes
ask yourself who ironed your uniforms, made your lunches and made sure your homework was done
ask yourself who bandaged your knee, nursed you when you were sick and was there for you to run up to when you needed to cry

was it not a housewife?

Its an honor to be a housewife and its a choice
some ppl tend to overlook since they are so busy being modern
‘oh i dont wanna be a blahdy boring housewife’

you dont have a clue as to what the world is all bout ..I feel sorry for ya

If i could, I swear i would give anything to stay at home 24/7 and be a housewife

I was having a conversation with this person the other day bout how I am hating going back to work and how i would love to stay at home and be a housewife
So this person goes ‘housemaker’
I am like ?
and The person goes well its a trendy term ‘housemaker’

What is so not trendy bout housewife?
though its wishful thinking to trendy-ize the name

Still what is so wrong in being a Blahdy Boring housewife?

2

I luv being a house wife.

I don’t know how some women go to
work and take care of a household at
the same time.

I could never do it properly.

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3

I never properly appreciated all the stuff that a homemaker actually does untill my mum went to Pakistan and i had to take over.....Boy, it is harder than it looks! Lets just say I was ready to hand the reins back on her return!

4

Anchal, though I am convinced that the job of being housewife is not easy by any means.. I am of the opinion that being a housewife inhibits one's personality development and makes a woman too house and family centric. What do you think ?

5

First of all the term is "homemaker" and not "housemaker" (the latter somehow gives an image of building contractor), and it probably gives a better understanding and appreciation of the concept. Its a personal choice.

Second, without taking anything away from a typical housewife who takes care of her family and home, shouldn't more credit be given to those women who do all that and in addition, also work elsewhere in a full time or part time postion?

Sajal, there are two basic types of women who do outside work while also being a housewife and a mother.

(1) Those who want to work and achieve something in their chosen career. These women studied for a profession before they got married and wish to utilize their education and experience, and
(2) those who work because of the additional money they can make to supplement the household expenses, or their personal pocket money or feel they have spare time during day (when the kids etc are at school) which they can use productively and profitably.

Most couples may decide that the wife should not work unless the kids are all school-going so that the mother can concentrate on the more important task of bringing up the kids. For some women, financial independance is very important, for whatever reason.

At the end, its all a personal choice. I do not wish to condone or condemn anyone for the personal choices they make. If someone does not wish to stay at home all day doing all the wonderful things which Anchal is referring to, then thats their choice. If they wish to work on some sort of career or to help their husbands by supplementing additional income, thats their choice.

6

Anchal, all that hard work and support given by a housewife that you mentioned above is also the same things a working woman does for her family. Or I should say all mothers and wives share the same responsibilities regardless of their status (housewife or working woman).

7

Sajal,Aanchal,& all proud wives & mothers

how r you ladies?
Hats off to to you ,

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from family man.
No matter how much the ERA ,Feminist,Girl Power ,degrade a woman who TAKES CARE ,as if these spoilt rotten women with no responsibility & only living selfish life for themselves,are the right way.

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We cannot express our heart felt gratitude,thanks & indebtness for providing the HOME in the house of brick & morter.You interior decorating

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skills,colorcordination ,Delicaies in the kitchen ,The greeneries of houseplant ,…all brighten our day after long hard days work place exhaustion!

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barque(bijli) yoon akadti hai apne karname pe ke
jaise phir naya hum aashiyaan bana nahi sakte

8

You all seem to have missed my point here
I am not putting down working houswifes
sheesh i am one of 'em

Over here,
I am just referring to individuals who use the term houswife as if it was a degrading term and
they think housewifes do nothing but sit infront of the telly all day

I dont think they have any idea what a houswife really means
hence my post

I would know,

I have been in both boats
I have held down a job and been a housewife
and been a full time houswife

So i am def. not putting down working mums

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I wouldnot because i am aware that most of them work to support their husbands

or they need some kind of activity once the kids have gone to school
and if they wish to utilize their education and knowledge thats good

Sajal

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i know kinda becomes difficult

Old Monk
really women who choose to stay home somehow lose their personality?
I would love to know how you came to that conclusion

PM house/homemaker mughay kia pata
I perfer housewife

waisay i did say it was wishful thinking

shahreen damn i know how you feel
i hated when once mummy went off to lahore leaving me to make breakfasts and lunches and look after the lot

Azad Munna most women who do work because they wanto support their families and help their husbands arent really selfish
but yes those who put down housewives and consider them to be nothing
are at lost cause

9

** This fib that people tend to generalize on that a housewife sits infront of the telly all day watching soaps and eating chocolate **

U missed the ‘spending hours on end stuck infront of a monitor’ bit

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I’d never take anything away from women who decide to bring up a family instead of work. These women hardly ever get paid for what they do, and often their work goes unappreciated.

However what does annoy me is women who become all cold and icy towards those girls who choose not to stay at home. These women make out that if a woman isn’t able to cook curries or clean bathrooms, she is somehow incomplete

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I’ve often found that these ‘cold’ housewives are purely jealous that they’ve not been a able to balance a career with raising a family, and so seek pleasure in putting down women who don’t want to become homemakers.

10

Welcome to Justificaitons Galore!!!

Sadi so you think ppl around here are jealous of you?
ahaan

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Its all bout personal choice meri jaan
nobody should put nobody down because they choose or dont choose to be a houswife

that doesnot give anybody the right to call them housewives as if it was the worst thing on the face of the earth
ppl who do that are somehow insecure of themselves rather then be the target of jealousy

Neera sorry I missed ya the first time around
I was busy surfing the net while the kids were crying of hunger and roaches were roaming on the unclean dishes

coming back to what you said
working mums at home are housewives arent they

they are secretaries waghera in the office
at home they swap their business suits with aprons (figure of speech)

i hate aprons

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11

So how you girls doing?
MMM ... Nice topic!!! Let me ask my wife and' I'll come back laterz!!!

--I know I'll be a King One day, When Im Dead, They Gonna take me on their shoulders, Just like a King--

12

For society as a whole it is very good that women stay at home and take care of the children. The most important resource and future of a family and nation. All children need adult supervision they need to know that adults are around and they can go to them when they need them and also children brought up by mother have higher IQ due to constant adult stimulation and interaction.

Inner cities and ghettos are good example of what happens to children when they are left alone without any adults around to supervise them, most of the time they form psuedo families like gangs to get attention.

From personal point staying home maynot be as rewarding in this day and age of easy divorce maybe even scary. Society has to honor homemaker and make sure they are not economically deprived as a result of staying home and they get fair share of family income. Otherwise all women will join work force and have no children or one child (as we see happening all around us) and society and future generations will suffer. We will end up with kids with lot of problems and parents who are too tried to do anything

about it. At the end of the day raising emotionally healthy and happy kids is all family is about if we cannot achieve this we have miserably failed.

[This message has been edited by Rani (edited July 02, 2001).]

13

Who are these girls you’re talking about and where can we find them?

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My friends I and are are a little tired of being introduced to girls who want nothing more out of life than to produce and endless stream of babies. Before you all rush to flame me, I’m not knocking motherhood (I know that none of us would be here if there wasn’t a hard working mother involved somewhere in the process), however, not everyone wants to be married to a full-time-7*24-tied-to-the-cooker-with-a-baby-in-one-arm-and-a-rolling-pin-in-the-other-housewife.

These days, guys (myself included) are looking for a companion in life, not a dedicated housemaid and babysitter. We already know how to cook and clean and wash our chaddies so that’s the last thing we look for in a wife. Babies are also a topic we’re not in a rush to make progress on. We’d much rather settle down with a woman who dreams of running a small buisness or taking some hobbies or part-time courses or tries to improove herself and her husband in some way.

These days companionship counts for far more than anything else.

Just my humble ramblings…

[This message has been edited by Pilot25 (edited July 02, 2001).]

14

Pilot,

You are mixing up the boring person who has very little skills and not fully developed mind with a homemaker. I am talking about women who are lawyers, doctors, executive and teachers who take time off to raise their families.

This is about choices not lack of skills, i understand where u are coming from and i would find the kind of person u have mentioned very boring.

15

Rani, I disagree with you (that’s a first).

I was actually talking about educated girls, from my own experience. I don’t think that anyone can call them ‘unskilled’ or ‘un-developed’. Yet, they choose a housewife lifestyle which I’m not comfortable living with.

Yes, it is about choices. If you find my preference boring, well I guess we’re just two different people then

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16

*If you find my preference boring, well I guess we're just two different people then *

Hey u got it all wrong the homemakers described in your post sound very boring, not your choice. I cannot comment on your choice because i know very little about it.

17

They do get paid,
every time tiny arms go around your neck its a reward
every time your lil one says 'mum i luv you' its a reward
every time you see the love in their eyes and know that you are the reason for the love, its a reward

Very touching anchal.. almost as good as the romantic.. laundry..

PK "ajnabi khaum mein apnay ko deekh kay" Girpada

18

Being a good homemaker requires skills. Often women who choose to stay at home and raise their families are not those who are too stupid to do anything else but those who see the value in what they are doing.
I am not condemning those women who choose to have a career, but I sincerely doubt that both things are possible at the same time. It boils down to a choice, unless one is really able to put a career on hold for a few years.

19

O’ bhai logo issi liay to kahta hoon kay mujhko 4 shadiaan kernay do 2 ghar per rahain 2 kam kerain. Wo bhi kush aur main to bahaut hi kush.

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20

There is a difference between housewives with kids in the family and ones without the kids. With couples who don't have kids, it's a little hard for women to sit at home even if they are busy doing some household chores.

With day to day routines, a lot of women get bored, or lose that ambition that may otherwise be quite productive or meaningful in terms of expanding one's experiences.