As a born and bred Londoner of Pakistani origin who values the positive aspects of Pakistani culture - food, dress and language- and abhors the backward bits - gender gap, restrictive practices imposed on women by women, lust for materialistic assets at the expense of others - I find it unsurprising that Pakistan lags behind in female empowerment and that this translates abroad by immigrant Pakistanis who bring that culture into the UK, USA etc. How many times does one encounter a US or UK national guy whose mother expects him to marry an obedient subservient wife from Pakistan (regardless of whether she’s from Lahore or Mirpur they are bred to be obedient wives of men as long as they are kept women and don’t work or become the main breadwinner) yet these same mothers expect their US born or UK born daughters to marry citizens of the same countries and have freedoms that they don’t give their sons wife? Similarly how many Pakistani national and resident mothers or sisters aspire for their Pakistani national sons of brothers to marry US or UK born girls and when they do get these rishtas they expect these girls to earn the money, be good daughter in laws, pay heed to Hindu adopted cultural practices which they don’t identify with, cook clean look after and bring up the kids and survive on a substandard salary from the husbands income because his qualifications are not recognised in the West? Sorry but times are changing - Pakistani national guys and girls should marry each other and change the culture from within. I’ll be interested to see how many of the UK or US born guys who married girls from Pakistan marry their own daughters to Pakistani national guys - oops perhaps they won’t - does economics have anything to go with it?!
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
That is so true!! Each and every word. There is a lot of hypocrisy.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
Hypocritical culture I think not women
Some guys who have wild life chose to marry back from pak and its these wifes who become mothers that you are talking about?
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
RE: Batameez
That is true - a number of UK/US national men have a wild life but are you saying Pakistani national men don't? Of course they play around! And if the guys you are talking about intentionally marry girls from Pak then why don't these Pakistani national girls ask them questions about their lifestyle before saying yes to the rishta?
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
RE: Batameez
That is true - a number of UK/US national men have a wild life but are you saying Pakistani national men don't? Of course they play around! And if the guys you are talking about intentionally marry girls from Pak then why don't these Pakistani national girls ask them questions about their lifestyle before saying yes to the rishta?
They are too eager for passport.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
Um...its not women. Its the culture.
As for asking...I don't know.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
Can we stop blaming "Hindu culture" for every stupid thing that we do? Our current mothers belong to at least third generation Pakistanis. Calling each weird cultural aspect a reminiscent of Hindu culture is height of giving excuses.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
Oh, another hypocrisy....
Why are desi girls so much into hating doing anything for their mother-in-laws yet demand the same from their own DILs when they are themselves buddhi khosat?
/rant done
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
^ lolz...kiuN bhaiye? kia huaa? koii story bhii hai iske peechhe yaa sirf bas yuN hii shor sharaaba? :D
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
Close people but not my own...
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
All women are hypocrites..whether its megyn kelly who doesnt give me airtime or Hillary who takes longer bathroom breaks 
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
In the U.S. I have seen most born and raised desis want to marry people who have been bprn and raised here and the parents are ok with that too. This is mostly the educated crowd.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
I think the pakistani / mirpuri community in the UK has some serious issues. You know you got some when you produce a mainstreamer like anjum chaudhry.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
some people are saying it's the culture, not the women. that's a cop out because women are a part of the culture, arguably a major part as they create the culture i.e. babies and raise them. from what i've seen, parents are okay with both their sons and daughters marrying someone from pakistan because the future spouse is either the child of a family friend back home, or they do not have a good enough social circle to find another family they can get their child married to, OR they don't trust kids raised in the west to be decent and look for a pakistani person so that the culture can continue to thrive with another immigrant experience.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
I feel you are victim blaming, they are oppressed and victimised and people blaming them are the hypocrites. Being with all kinds of races I believe that Pakistani women are awesome.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
But then you seem so bloated and constipated, how long are your bathroom breaks. Eat your fibre, drink plenty of water and don’t be such a porker.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
I see it both in males and females. And I know some Paki's here, even some cousins in my families, who did marry a male from Pakistan. The girls say that makes it less of a danger to have inlaw troubles as the inlaws are in Pakistan and only the husband is here. And in many cases the male only married the female for Western papers. My family sells cloth, I grew up in that business. So we always knew many Pakistani, Indian people and Hindustani Surinami people. One female Hindustani Surinami female once came in the cloth shop, I was still a teenager then, she complained about a Pakistani male marrying here for Dutch papers, after a few years marriage, he was allowed to stay here permanently and then he divorced her to get married to a Pakistani. I can't remember if she was a Muslim or a Hindu, but that doesn't matter, that Pakistani should not have lied to her and used her. I felt bad for her about what our Pakistani males are sometimes known to do here . . . Her story is not the only one. I knew a fellow Pakistani born here in the west, married to a male from Pakistan, once he was alllowed to stay here and didn't need her for western papers anymore, he divorced her too. It's all wrong, telling these females they love them, take advantage of them, then after they have the legal papers, immediately divorce them.
I have seen terrible behaviour of all kinds from both males and females, in any society. :(
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
As a born and bred Londoner of Pakistani origin who values the positive aspects of Pakistani culture - food, dress and language- and abhors the backward bits - gender gap, restrictive practices imposed on women by women, lust for materialistic assets at the expense of others - I find it unsurprising that Pakistan lags behind in female empowerment and that this translates abroad by immigrant Pakistanis who bring that culture into the UK, USA etc. How many times does one encounter a US or UK national guy whose mother expects him to marry an obedient subservient wife from Pakistan (regardless of whether she's from Lahore or Mirpur they are bred to be obedient wives of men as long as they are kept women and don't work or become the main breadwinner) yet these same mothers expect their US born or UK born daughters to marry citizens of the same countries and have freedoms that they don't give their sons wife? Similarly how many Pakistani national and resident mothers or sisters aspire for their Pakistani national sons of brothers to marry US or UK born girls and when they do get these rishtas they expect these girls to earn the money, be good daughter in laws, pay heed to Hindu adopted cultural practices which they don't identify with, cook clean look after and bring up the kids and survive on a substandard salary from the husbands income because his qualifications are not recognised in the West? Sorry but times are changing - Pakistani national guys and girls should marry each other and change the culture from within. I'll be interested to see how many of the UK or US born guys who married girls from Pakistan marry their own daughters to Pakistani national guys - oops perhaps they won't - does economics have anything to go with it?!
I couldnt agree more!! I really find it pathetic that there are so many double standards and how some women are imposing them on other women. The only solution to this is to take a stand for oneself and make the surroundings understand that this is how you want to live and if they dont Accept it it is their loss!!!!
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
In UK (and even in US) plenty of your 'young and educated' women have also married men from Pakistan, and even their cousins. You have enough such examples on this forum alone.
Be it male or female - the factors that determine the whole idea of 'importing' a partner from far away country are largely the same.
But thank God, this trend is quickly changing amongst the young generation who are now more keen to marry people form their own countries.
Re: The hypocrisy of Pakistani women
I see it both in males and females. And I know some Paki's here, even some cousins in my families, who did marry a male from Pakistan. The girls say that makes it less of a danger to have inlaw troubles as the inlaws are in Pakistan and only the husband is here.
A hugely important factor. Some mothers or families who want their daughters to wear the pants in the relationship prefer that the groom is imported so the daughter has the natural upper hand in the marriage in every way. In past, there used to be quite a trend of importing groom and not proceeding with his nationality papers for years to 'test him out', in case his intention is to separate once he has the nationality.
Although I've said that in my previous post, but it is not so much change of mentality and attitude which is reversing this trend - it's mostly due to increasingly strict immigration laws which is almost impossible for many average earning families to negate. Young educated women don't want to work their butts off to call a guy from Pakistan they probably don't even like that much.
But with men being high earners in most of the cases - it means logistically it is relatively lot easier for them import a wife and meet the legal criteria than women.