Reha
March 17, 2018, 6:57pm
168
Re: The hypocrisy of liberals
Women in Pakistan…just like the women in the West…also “need” marriage because it’s a natural desire. Because they want companionship apart from that of their parents, siblings, and plutonic friends. Because they want children. Wanting comfort, stability, and a protection or a “sahara” is something that even men want. It’s not just a “Pakistani woman” thing…it’s a human thing.
No one will bat an eye at your life as a single woman in the US? You’re wrong here as well. Single women in the US may face less of a stigma, but it’s still there. I haven’t seen my Desi “friends” in years. You wanna know why? Because they prefer the company of other women who are married and have children like themselves. And it’s not just the Desi women. The “spinster with so many cats” stereotype is also a part of Western society. Even the single goriyan will feel excluded from the social circles of their married friends. It’s a reality. It exists. Yes, single women in the West have greater scope in terms of employment and protection and there is greater ease in living independently, traveling, etc. But I still don’t believe that this kind of life (be it out of personal choice or circumstance) is wholly free of stereotypes and pressure and judgment…not even in the west.
If we’re gonna debate an issue effectively, then attention has to be given to wording. If we make blanket statements about a particular group/gender/race…we’re gonna run into trouble. Our parents may have been living in the US for years and they may very well prefer the life here to that of Pakistan. But for many of us, the fact remains that our parents were born and raised in Pakistan. Our moms ARE …“Pakistani women” …and our dads ARE… “Pakistani men”…born and raised in the motherland (whether for a short duration or otherwise).
Sure, human beings are social animals. But marriage is Sunnah (for women) for a reason…not fardh. People CAN live without it and do all the time. If you want to get married, do it. But if you don’t, you shouldn’t be ostracized for it. Your life should not become difficult due to societal pressure because of it.
Maybe its a personality thing but I don’t subscribe to the *bichari *syndrome. I believe marriage should be there to compliment, not to complete each other. It should be a source of happiness…not lifelong suffering…and women should be able to marry if they wish…not because “ab mera kya hoga?”