The hypocrisy of liberals

Reha · March 16, 2018, 10:33pm

Re: The hypocrisy of liberals

The divorce rate is rising and that is something to be proud of? Lol. I’ve taught almost every grade level. I’ve worked with preschoolers and adolescents and kids in between. Ask me how a divorce affects the psyche of children, the challenges they face as they shuffle their time between mom and dad, of being raised by a single parent. Last year I taught almost 50 students split into two groups; one was academically higher than the other. The students in the significantly higher group had something in common; their parents were married and many of the moms were housewives…but let’s put this latter point to the side. The weaker group of students also had something in common; they were being raised by a single parent, their home lives were fractured. I’m not interested in hearing about “exceptions” to the general observations I’ve just shared. Exceptions will always be there. This fired-up, “gung-ho” zeal about the climbing divorce rate is disturbing. It’s sad that both men and women struggle with compromise and patience and believe that every thing under the sun has to be asserted.

Yes, I’ve heard/read that a Muslim woman is not obligated to clean the house, or even nurse her child. She has the right to never lift a finger. But even when one has more than one right/option, there is one that is more “afzal.” For instance, Islam gives you the right to exact revenge that is equivalent to the harm done to you…however…to forgive is more afzal/superipor. The same religion which grants a wife the right to not lift a finger…also places great emphasis on the maintaining of rishtay. And rishtay are maintained through a mutual give and take, through mutual compromise, and picking and choosing battles…not through arrogance and asserting rights blindly. The Prophet SAWS was not one to demand anything of his wives; he even did helped out with the domestic responsibilities. But if he SAWS did make a domestic request of one of his wives, I suspect that they wouldn’t fire back with..“Oh-yeah! I don’t have to do this and it’s my right.” The women of today are much “lesser” in status and character and iman and ibadat than Hazrat Khadija/Fatima/Aisha (RA)…but they’re gonna crow about all their “to-do” and “don’t have to” rights.

A man does not have the “right” to rape/assault a women based on the way she is dressed. But WHY did Allah order women to dress modestly? It’s because our Creator knows fully well that some men will use the aqal He has gifted them and exercise self-control…whereas others won’t. Allah knew that. Despite endowing us with intellect and a zameer, He knew that some men wouldn’t use them and will stoop to lower than animals. And so, He ordered women to take precautions as well. In another thread it was said that Islam has set a punishment only for the rapist and not the woman for the way she’s dressed. Ummm…just because there’s no specified “hadd” punishment designated for a scantily dressed woman…doesn’t mean that there is also no gunnah on her for not following an order. That’s something to think about. Just because one person committed made more of a transgression doesn’t necessarily mean that the other person is completely faultless. If you taunt someone and the other person punches you in the face, the latter is MORE wrong…but that doesn’t that the former’s actions or choices were 100 A-okay! “Feminism” might be all about men being the ones to exercise self-control whilst women get to do whatever…but Islam is about balance and BOTH genders being accountable and responsible.

Making blanket statements about Pakistani men …and women living in Pakistan…and Muslim women in Anreeka is not going to resolve anything; it will only fuel and inflame.

The climbing divorce rate is actually alarming to me as well but what else was to happen logically? Pushing women to extremes in Pakistan will produce these results. Its not an opinion, its what is happening. Less women want to live with abusive in-laws, less women want to be doormats, less women want to spend their lives living for others without asking for anything in return. I know several women in my mom’s generation who spent their entire lives in abusive marriages for the sake of their children. And I know several women in my own generation who walked out of abusive marriages with their children because they had the means to support themselves. Why would they not? It is better than being beaten in front of your children. And yes, I know Pakistani men who beat their wives in front of their children in America. There comes a day when you can’t hope your kids won’t remember…they will. No woman wants to leave but if the situation calls for it, now she can. What else will happen if the trend continues to oppress women? Logically speaking, where else will long term abuse take us? There will come a day when one side will say enough is enough. That’s where we are. Men stopped being men and became jail wardens.

Everything else you’ve highlighted is great but here’s the thing…men and women in Islam will never be equal. In order to keep the scales balanced, each party has to fulfill their obligations and grant the other their rights with respect and courtesy. I see women being raised to obey their husbands but men are never taught to respect their wives. Rather to control them. This thread was started to find out why a woman is on a can of shaving cream because a woman should not be seen or heard. She should only be dealt with when necessary and confined to her home because she was meant to stay indoors. This is not going to work in today’s society…it isn’t as you can see with the rise of divorces.

The courtesy and kindness should always go both ways…not just the woman working her butt off to earn a spot in a man’s home where she can spend the rest of her days. Reality is…many women do not have to do that anymore. It is no longer a need and if it is not a need…why would anyone stick it out in a bad marriage? Its important to recognize the shift in our culture because ignoring it is not productive. They why’s need answers if there will ever be solutions.

Forbidding a woman from speaking too much, wearing certain things, going out, talking too loud, seeing her parents, working, etc. Pakistani Islam is focused 100% on forbidding women from doing things…not encouraging her to realize her full potential.