tell me, is it necessary for a couple to do ‘it’ on their first night of marriage? as muslims, we have something called a walimah…which is a function held to celebrate the consummation of the marriage…but what if the couple got cold feet on their first nite? do u still go ahead with this walimah thingy, and pretend to everyone else that u did do it, when in actual fact you didn’t? besides, i can see myself being verrry uncomfortable on ma first night…
Valima is a celebration of two people and their families being brought together and to thank Allah for this blessing.
Consumation is not neccessary on the first night. Its just a old wives tale so the new husband won’t be displeased. Call it another chauvanistic add on to please the eastern man asap. Sucks doesn’t it
[quote]
Originally posted by CocoNut:
**Valima is a celebration of two people and their families being brought together and to thank Allah for this blessing....
**
[/quote]
i'm pretty sure it signifies 'consummation' of the marriage. The word walimah means 'consummation'.
Sickos!!!
Its supposed to be natural… not forced tendencies based upon a name!!!
Cultural stupidity must be destroyed!
Hahahahaha
** Mu Hu Hahahahahaha!** "Quote the Mu,“NeverMu!” Yeh Duniya Doh Rangi Ajab Iski Baatein
Agar Pyar Maango toh Hasrat Millegi
Chaman Zindagi ke Hazaaron Killeinge
Magar Eik Dil ki Kali Nah Kiley Gi
if it is not necessary to do it on the first nught of ur marriage, then how come aunties/grandmas r asking is she pregnant yet?
and why is it called suhaag night?
also if u r married and u dont really know the person how can u do it on the first night or even in the first week?
I just can’t not believe how some strangers (if it is ARRANGED) would do it on the first night. I mean wouldn’t they feel hella weird and SHY especially the girl
[quote]
Originally posted by aysha:
*if it is not necessary to do it on the first nught of ur marriage, then how come aunties/grandmas r asking is she pregnant yet?
*
[/quote]
thats so true. I have just come back from my first trip back home since my wedding a couple of months ago. My parents threw a party for us and every 2 minutes someone would come up to me and ask me if I was pregnant yet/or when I was going to get pregnant etc etc. After a while it kinda got on my nerves.
I think it depends on the couple really! if they feel comfortable with it or not. I dont think most couples do it the first night anyway. I think that they have to get to know each other better before things get intimate(thats if its arranged).
wud be difficult to do it if u already know the girl and u have maintained a level of respect for each other....
like if the girl and boy wre good friends and then decided to marry....
then how wud they break the ice....
Yes thats what I’ve heard too that the walima doesnt count till u’ve done it!!
I think that some couples feel they have to do ‘it’ thinking their walima wont count.. its like - so lets get it over with!!
Actually you'd be pretty surprised at people who have had "love" marriages that don't have sex on their wedding night.
After all its a very long and tiring day, and very overwhelming too. Sex can be the last thing on your mind, you've got the rest of your life to do it so whats the rush.
I agree with the previous poster. The wedding day itself it VERY tiring...and by the time the couple is finally alone, I'd think(I'm not married) that both of them would be exhausted not only physically, but also mentally.
One thing I've curious about and hopefully those of you who are married can answer this. If the marriage is arranged and even if you talk to the guy a few times, how do you discuss the topic of birth control? Does the girl bring it up or the guy? Or is it already understood that she should be on the pill? Did you even discuss all this before the wedding? Doesn't it end up being a very awkard and somewhat embarrasing conversation?
I always thought Walima was a celebration of conception!?!
I don't think it would be hard to ask your own wife before you do it for the first time if she wants to conceive a child at that moment or not... I don't think educated ppl (even in Pakistan) get into arranged marriages without the person knowing each other first.
You can only paint with the colors you're given...
...so get what you like and like what you have.
Girls, If you don’t want ‘it’ on your first night or the first nights, there is a way to fool the men hazraat, I have been told that it actually worked on one case in Pak
