Re: The Education Gap
Exhibit A
Re: The Education Gap
^I don't know. Miami had some smart ppl there. They all went UMiami- atleast the ones i knew. There was this one girl thre, whow was like president of the student body there, and was really smart. Im sure there are people who could careless abt education there, but hey, what community doesn't have ppl like that? And this guy I know, is like a super famois business man now. Another is a opthamologist at some big name residency up north.
If you are not pursuing a career in academics, any degree after bachelors becomes a business investment.
The choices are not simple if you are already under a big student loan, married or your circumstances are such that investing in education becomes less of a priority. Some boys have other family priorities (mother, sisters, etc..). They have to weigh pros and cons before investing time and money. Some guys pursue education after marriage..change careers or go for certifications to improve their skills.
My wife's group of friends are all in academics, profs etc. One girl who is pursuing her PhD, her husband is a carpenter. He has a bachelor's degree from a respectable university. I could be worng but maybe because they are white, they didn't have such black and white criteria to gauge life partners.
Seriously? Oooh. A handful of people from one small school where there aren’t even that many pakistani kids.
:k:
I know pretty much the entire academic crowd here. Am I supposed to marry a chic who was a president of some org and is smart?
I’m looking for a man. A real one.
I sort of agree with you actually here…really…its true…
Even in my school it was mostly the girls that were smart… Infact I don’t even remember a smart GUY in my undergrad (and I went to the second biggest public univ in FL). I remember one orgo prof would read out the people who got A’s grades out loud…and there would have be like ONE guy in the whole list…sad but true…
I remember reading one article, where women are now making more then their hubbies, and honeslty I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened to me too. Not that its wrong…but yeah.
Re: The Education Gap
Yes, we have some smart girls down here, but I've grown up with the population here. I'm not too familiar with the Punjabi crowd...but the others, generally speaking, consist mostly of girls who get married really young, or get married after some bachelors education.
The guys - far fewer educated bachelors. Even if you look for simply bachelor-trained guy, its difficult and THOSE guys want the girls who are equivalent or lower education.
The ones who were really good catches, in my age range - all gone.
There are some single guys I know of, but they're too religious and when I've hung out with them, they are quite misogynist. If you can't hang out with a girl without having to make some female jokes, then you have issues and I don't want to make those issues MINE. Shows they have zero tact.
Yes, we have some smart girls down here, but I've grown up with the population here. I'm not too familiar with the Punjabi crowd...but the others, generally speaking, consist mostly of girls who get married really young, or get married after some bachelors education.
The guys - far fewer educated bachelors. *Even if you look for simply bachelor-trained guy, its difficult and THOSE guys want the girls who are equivalent or lower education. *
The ones who were really good catches, in my age range - all gone.
I don't know abt that....I always get the impression they want a girl who can pay the bills...and they marry you solely for that reason...I know Many of guys found brides in the motherlands,and married solely because they were mds or engineers... and the brides married for their tickets to come to the US-- a win- win situation I guess.
I don't know...after my experience..i've sort of learned that maybe education's not everything....if the guy is good to you and faithful to you and make a good father and is a good muslim, but just has a high school diploma, so what? it's better then supereducated guy who envelopes himself in sin....
Re: The Education Gap
Except that the high school educated guy is going to be irrationally demanding you stay at home when you have a kid, not understanding that you have the ability to juggle a career and home and that you've worked HARD to get where you are, and that he needs to just accept that.
Educated guys tend to work better with you on those issues, because they've been there, done that, and they know how it is.
Except that the high school educated guy is going to be irrationally demanding you stay at home when you have a kid, not understanding that you have the ability to juggle a career and home and that you've worked HARD to get where you are, and that he needs to just accept that.
Educated guys tend to work better with you on those issues, because they've been there, done that, and they know how it is.
And why would the educated career woman be with the high school educated guy to begin with if she thinks she is so much better htan him?
If you are not pursuing a career in academics, any degree after bachelors becomes a business investment.
The choices are not simple if you are already under a big student loan, married or your circumstances are such that investing in education becomes less of a priority. Some boys have other family priorities (mother, sisters, etc..). They have to weigh pros and cons before investing time and money. Some guys pursue education after marriage..change careers or go for certifications to improve their skills.
My wife's group of friends are all in academics, profs etc. One girl who is pursuing her PhD, her husband is a carpenter. He has a bachelor's degree from a respectable university. I could be worng but maybe because they are white, they didn't have such black and white criteria to gauge life partners.
I'm so glad to read this post. Puts things into perspective. It's scary reading some of these posts and views ... not everything is so black and white.
Re: The Education Gap
Whatever. Easy to say yet how many of you are with high school diplomas making minimum wage? That doesn't help ya with yer MAC collection.
Re: The Education Gap
I just have a B.A. only, and I have a lot of other expenses to be concerned about instead of MAC cosmetics. I worked during the day full time and went to university in the evenings. That's how I got my degree. I worked and paid for my own education. I wasn't going to put that responsibility on my parents shoulders. However, I also wasn't going to struggle with student loans for the rest of my life to get further education (masters, phD, etc.). Not everybody has wealthy parents to put them through school and not everybody is comfortable in taking those student loans. You know what the fees are like, just for a B.A. when I was in University, it was roughly $8K per year, multiply that by 4 years, plus books and travel expenses. That means hefty student loans if you aren't working while studying. Add additional degrees to that ... that's tough.
I know it's doable and plenty of people do it.... but not everybody chooses that route. I didn't.
My comment was directed at the post that a B.A. is bare minimum. You know, you work your butt off for that piece of paper, and you eventually get a job, and then you have someone come along and dismiss it as nothing. I encounter this attitude repeatedly, but only from our desi community.
Anyway, I digress. Sorry for going off topic.
Re: The Education Gap
Even though I am highly educated (mashallah, allah nazar sey bachaye), I won't mind marrying a sugar mamma who can work and pay bills.
Re: The Education Gap
Mehnaz your situation is unique. I'm talking about people who could afford it. There is also something called scholarships. If people stop messing around in high school, they can bypass much of the difficulty you went through. I went to a garbage school on scholarship so much like you, I worked for it. That's NOT the norm in our culture.
Re: The Education Gap
All of my life I have see and heard of girls AND guy's that have accomplished so much and gotten extremely educated. This would be upstate New York I am talking about. My parents would always tell us about so and so kids that are doing so and so. As I got older, I became amazed at how motivated our communities are in general in regards to education. I would seriously be extremely hard pressed to find a Pakistani guy that was not highly educated. It's just that sorts of communities I guess here. Not only do the parents feel pressure for their children to do well... but the kids do too .... you dont want to be the loser kid while everyone around you is become doctors, getting phDs, MBA's, etc.
Since then - I have moved to Massachusetts and that whole thing is even to a MORE extreme here I feel. Every single Pakistani I come across is so accomplished and motivated. They might have other shady characteristics I am not a fan off... but everyone is really educated. It's never been an issue in my entire life of seeing a trend where the girls are getting more educated than the guys. I have definitely seen guys married to girls who are LESS educated than they are. But not vice versa...because that is hard to find. Either a girl marries to marry a guy who is on her "educational level" or he is more educated. This is only my experience based on WHERE I have lived. I am not generalizing the entire United States of America.
But I also think nothing is wrong with a guy marrying a girl who is more educated than her. Why should he care if he loves and respects her? He should be proud of her and her accomplishments. As long as there is mutual love, respect, and understanding in the relationship ...and its a "good match" in general in all other ways... then it really shouldn't matter. My humble opinion......
Re: The Education Gap
I also think so that Pakistani men are very well educated in North America . In my community most of them are doctors or engineers . I found very few who are less educated and came from Pakistan , but they own their own businesses . I think as Pakistanis we should feel proud of our community who is really doing good and making us all proud .
You missed the (r) there my friend..