Ach! Take the girl and forget the rest. :)
You can achieve a lot, if you are prepared to give up a lot.
the chai thing.. guyz coming to "See" the girl.. that sounds so old now.. that doesnt happen in my family atleast.. usually the parents meet parents.. then the meeting is set for a girl and aguy.so they can talk n stuff.. then they ask the girl about her opinion and the guy's parents ask him.. phir agar larka larki razi.. to kya karay ga qazi ;)!
ai ajnabi tu bhee kabhee awaaz dai kahee say...
Lost - I never said best, I did say better/good.
Faisal - I agree there are various places to meet people. But as far as college goes show me the gals who start thinking about marriage at 28? Most females I know start worrying at that age that they may not be able to get married.
As for guys yes it is true, but if the way people are talking about marriage here as something that is done after getting to know the person or interacting, what better place then social settings such as that which occur in college.
Almost all the marriages that I know that went the route of actually trying to meet and get to know people all occured through friendships in colleges. All the rest of the marriages were done through the parents.May be that is a unique instance due to my set of friends.
again people... these are the ways of our land, no point arguing over it
Oh good :) another dimension to the discussion… finding love at skule – wow! This does get interesting.
Well, lemme just say that although the discussion has somewhat prolonged beyond what I had originally expected, I get the feeling that most of us are of the opinion that the whole rishta process points to a wider social phenomenon where there’s lack of a culture of "courtship". I guess what I’m saying is that parents need to re-engage with their kids in new ways and they must learn more about the ways young adults meet and mate today.
On the front of finding love at school, I would agree with Faisal. Relationships that I see on campus have either too little commitment or too much. Couples either hook up engaging in sexual encounters with no expectation of a relationship, or they join at the hip quickly forming a forceful bond that all too often leads to a painful break-up – but that’s just my observation.
The two ways of finding mates as I have noticed are the family finds them and they have a hand in everything plus you have the choice of blaming them in the times when you have your arguments.
And the other is you find the person and you have a responsibility towards your choices and the family is less so engaged.
And then there is a less talked about option of the middle ground.
As for school, sure both too much and too little commitment occurs. However my point been that if you choose to find a person you can not do that without actually thinking about it and trying to see what the other person is all about in a non setup format. And what better place then school or if you are working at a job.
its the discussion we were having about meeting where the parents are not there watching every move and the kids are not dressed up and paraded around. So isnt school one of the better places to have such an interaction. You have several years to observe the person, the social settings are not made up and you are more then likely to find the natural ways of the other person. That is just an observation anyways. Whatever works for each person to make them happy and leads to happiness in thier life should be what they follow. people should not need others to tell them the way... only suggest options for them to consider.
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
[FONT="]I wish, I wish, I wish all men thought like Umar bhai.
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
Ihavne’t read all the replies yet, but I always maintained that I will never go through the whole rishta process, or even if I do, i seriously doubt I will ever find my mr. right. And lo and behold, i found him w/o going through all that 
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
i'm reading the thread..reading, reading - and at the very end i realize this thread was orginally posted more than 4 years ago!
wow, that's a lot of digging someone's done
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
You know what it is kinda annoying. I would feel bad that i’m 19-20, and girls who are 14 are getting proposals, getting engaged at 17, nikkahed at 18, etc. Even women who are nikkahed/engaged/married with young kids would be getting proposals! 
I quit thinking about it though. First/last time a rishta ever came for me (when i was in Pakistan) it was exactly like described, they stared, i said too much lolz and they ran away (after eating all the samosas and nimko and pepsi and pakoray 
. It was kinda funny though, coz it was a surprise ambush 
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
It's good to see this thread resurface. I realized many who posted in this thread are now engaged and/or married.
It'd be nice to hear about their experiences.
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
lmao @ sara's above comment.
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
90.
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
You go girl! 
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
I don't even remember why I wrote that. I mean, I don't remember who came up to me and asked me why I'm not married or implied there is something wrong with me.
It's nice to have a selective memory.
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
It's nice to have a selective memory.
*kahan aa k rukay thay rastay, kahan moor tha usay bhool ja
ju mil gaya usay yaad rakh ju na mil saka usay bhool ja
*
*na wooh ankh teri ankh thi, na wooh khawb tera khawb tha
dil-e- muntezir tu yeh kis liay tera jagna , usay bhool ja
*
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
I'm from India from Hyderabad
i'm bit surprised when i saw this thread and find out the matchmaking process is bilkul same as us
feel like sharing my experience too
i'm from a dominated caste where the dowry is highest in hindus
as far as the dowry system is considered there are bad and good things as well
when ever you are looking for a match the first thing comes up is dowry if it matches then they look at girls photo and when everything satisfied then they call to their home to see the girl, mostly when you see the girl it is almost finalized, nowadays parents are not allowing to show their daughter as exhibition to other ppl who are completley unknown, there are some case where the match had broken after engagement also
there is bit changed in the IT world because of most of matrimonial sites and ppl staying in foreign countires, they are not getting enough time to go girls home and see , they are getting married looking at photos and their marriages are successfull too
some hindu castes like brahmin , bania and other communities see the kundalies first and if it matches then proceed with other things, my caste don't follow this system
In my friends circle most of them are love marriages, some even eloped and got marriage
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
Reading this thread has been a real eye opener and it made me realise thank god i neva had to go through it. I met my hubby myself and allah ka shukar hai we’re really happy. 
It saved my parents a lot of hassle of going through this process. Ive got friends who have gone through it though and ppl r so blatant i was shocked. They were asking her how much she earns and will she continue to work once she’d had a kid and one even said that she had to stay super skinny even after she had a kid:hoonh: . I dunno man i was just shocked at the stuff she told me abt the ppl that came round to see her and the whole idea of bringing out the pakoras and somosas to ppl u dont even know, just as a show piece really grosses me out. I would never put my daughter through that ever.
Re: The Desi Rishta Panorama
Marriage is for better or worse...and I think if you get 80% of what you are looking for in a partner..you are doing well....if you wait to find 100% of what you are looking for....then you maybe waiting a long time and in the end may still have to lower your expectations.