^ Very good point by Naabigh there 
What in your opinion are the costs of marriage? When is asking for too much?
Quote situations please , married and unmarried posters both, where you feel you would draw the line at compromising in a marriage and/or call it off?
Re: The "cost" of marriage
I believe that the line would vary from individual to individual depending on their circumstances, tolerance level and needs.
Also, i strongly believe that most unmarried people (like me) can say so much like oh i won't ever tolerate this or that but you only know when you are in that situation what your decision will be. Otherwise you see all these "powerful" women taking absue in their marital life and you wonder why would they do it but they do cuz only they know what their priorities are. Yes, they can be making a wrong decision but its their life at the end of the day and only they have the right to decide for it.
Re: The "cost" of marriage
^ Still I'm interested in the singles' view and the married people's view
What is in their opinion, hypothetically unacceptable and why?
Re: The "cost" of marriage
I believe trust and truthfulness are cost of marriage. Both characteristics are needed in fair spousal relationship.
Re: The "cost" of marriage
^ good STA
So you are saying if trust or honesty is compromised then the relationship isnt worth it anymore?
Illustrate with examples ?
I believe trust and truthfulness are cost of marriage. Both characteristics are needed in fair spousal relationship.
Re: The "cost" of marriage
Im single so I don't know how much weight my opinion carries considering I haven't really experienced married life, but i was always brought up to "compromise". So I approached looking at rishtas with that same concept. I mean I have certain "requirements" but for the most part I was willing to work with the other person about stuff if I liked him...well, that was fine. Until the guy that things were getting serious with started dropping hints about how he thought my schooling was too long and that I should do something else. But when I'd question him, he'd act like he was supportive. Overtime, his displeasure became obvious but because he didn't man up and tell me, I just started not trusting him. And things ended.
Again, being single my outlook is different than the married folk. Sure I'll compromise when we want to have kids, where we live, etc but I WON'T compromise certain aspects of my life like my career. If you want me to work less, that's fine. If you want to discuss what specialty I should pursue, that's okay too. But I draw the line when someone (and in this guy's case, HIS parents) decide what I can/cannot do in terms of education/my time. That, along with cheating or abuse. Hit me once, and that's it. It's over.
Re: The “cost” of marriage
For me personally, freedom is something I cannot compromise on. Sure, I’m willing to give up things for my husband/family but what I cannot take is being forced to do things on someone’s whims.
Case in point: My cousin was “not allowed” to cut her hair after she was married. Apparently the in-laws and her hubby were smitten by her thick long hair. I felt like throwing up when I heard this. I would have willingly let my hair grow nice and long if my husband liked it that way, but being ordered to do this was an absolute no-go.
Re: The “cost” of marriage
Cost of a marriage 
I once asked me uncle about it - he replied ’ I dont know mate , I am still paying for it ’ 
Re: The "cost" of marriage
No relationship in life would work without a compromise. im not married and i have adjusted or compromised to alot of things my sister does like she likes to sleep with some light, i cant sleep with light so i wear the eye mask. but obviously you mean bigger things then light of the washroom.
definitely some compromises but the line should be drawn where you feel you are both unhappy in the situation, and you are constantly upset and depressed.
dont let someone take you forgranted.
Re: The “cost” of marriage
^ toh kuch seekh lo naabigh, abhee bhi waqt he 
Re: The "cost" of marriage
I have never thought about 'drawing lines' to 'call it off'.
Being prepared for things to come is one-thing but creating a manual with check-boxes for a relationship is another. As I have said before there are no pre-defined concrete stances (or causes & effects) that one can have in strong relationships.
To be honest, I have never thought about 'what will make it break'. If one's relationship is healthy, there is no need to think about 'what will I do IF' sort of scenarios.
Re: The "cost" of marriage
^ that's a very good stance to have mashallah
Re: The "cost" of marriage
the cost of marriage afaik is a loss of the glorious bachelor lifestyle one has near-perfected over the years. several conveniences and traditions that are invented and maintained by unmarried males need to be forsaken. much time gets wasted in maintaining clean bathrooms, kitchen sinks etc. no more spur of the moment trips/activities unless sanctioned by her highness - not a frequent event. no walking around in bare essentials.
Re: The "cost" of marriage
What in your opinion are the costs of marriage? When is asking for too much?
amazing. Just talking to a friend who is going through a very tough patch of his married life and he said."Two things I cannot compormise on; my faith and my relationship to my (side of the) family. Everything else, I am willing to change".
Re: The "cost" of marriage
^ very valid points on his side
Re: The "cost" of marriage
between husband and wife its never too much imho
When is asking for too much?
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as much as I like this answer, I do agree with TLK's friend. Cutting ties with family is crossing the line
between husband and wife its never too much imho
Re: The "cost" of marriage
of course
as much as I like this answer, I do agree with TLK's friend. Cutting ties with family is crossing the line
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I cant imagine why any sane person would ask their partner to cut ties with their family. I know women are very demanding sometimes, but do they really want to be with a man who cuts ties with the people who raised him just because she demanded it? Would she really feel that he is the same person who married her?
And I dont understand why things have to come to this extreme in the first place. You can sit with your family and talk things out, and if they are adamant about not changing (assuming they are wrong), then you just reduce interaction with them. They'll come around eventually, there is really no reason to cut ties with anyone!
The only thing I won't compromise on is my religious belief. If my parents really do say things that are truly hurtful and offensive to my husband, I will try to make them see the light, and if they still insist, then I would reduce contact with them for a while.
A person very close to me had parents who both took their own families sides while she was growing up. They had fights about it, and no one really cared what it was doing to the children. It involved aggressive bullying of the children from both the mother and the father's families, but both parents refused to step up because they didn't believe the children. It scared her for life, and her own relationship with her parents is in a very bad place. She says she can never forgive how they forgot that she was their family first, before anyone else.
So seeing her example, I would compromise on my ties with my family if it comes down to choosing between them and my children. I suppose thats the cost of marriage.
Re: The "cost" of marriage
amazing. Just talking to a friend who is going through a very tough patch of his married life and he said."Two things I cannot compormise on; my faith and my relationship to my (side of the) family. Everything else, I am willing to change".
Good luck to your friend and hope things work out.
I wonder if he made these two points that he cannot compromise on clear to his wife before they got married. This is not a criticism directed at him, but (IMO) a valid point for him to consider. If he had not clarified this at the outset, he probably needs to cut some slack and compromise.