Can anyone rejects a rishta on the basis that the girl/boy owns a dark complexion?
Re: the complexion..... part 2
thats an obvious point to reject, in most of cases...
Re: the complexion..... part 2
Happens all the time.
Re: the complexion..... part 2
yes...a major role,appearance.But that doesn't matter much if other things like good education,stable job,good pay,nice family etc ,balance the appearance factor out.
Sad thing..being rejected on basis of appearance.Appearance can always be altered...with some grooming/good dressing and manners etc
Re: the complexion..... part 2
Yes and even though it should not be encouraged and I do not attest to the concept, there is nothing wrong in it. Its the matter of personal choice.
Re: the complexion..... part 2
Yes and even though it should not be encouraged and I do not attest to the concept, there is nothing wrong in it. Its the matter of personal choice.
I love it when people justify their superficiality under 'personal choice'. Every action we do is ultimately a personal choice. For example, we dont engage in using foul language because we want to have good manners, yet it is still a personal choice. Just bc smtng is a personal choice, it doesnt make it right.
This is the exact reason I feel our perception of dark complexion continues to exist bc the concept that it is an ok thing to reject someone with a dark compexion is lumped under one's personal choice. I really hope this is not smtng we teach our kids, else there is no way this sort of discrimination will be eliminated from our society.
To the OP: IMO it is wrong to reject someone based solely on their complexion. Piety is the number one criteria for marriage.
Re: the complexion..... part 2
So we're not supposed to have personal choice. Using foul language is known to be hurtful, hence we wouldn't use it. However rishtas don't always workout and someone's physical appearance not working for me seems like a perfect excuse.
Re: the complexion..... part 2
So in other words you are saying that physical or otherwise appearance/attraction does not matter when looking for Rishta? and even if someone is not attracted towards the other person (physically) they should still marry him/her and ruin two lives...
and that being said, I am interested in knowing how many of the girls will be ready to date and/or marry a guy who is mota, kala and ganja and who is just 6inch shorter than girl? any takers?
and your analogy of foul language does not fit well here as you DO NOT HAVE to live your life with "foul language"
You are perhaps talking about robots living in ideal world, I am talking about humans living in this world.
I love it when people justify their superficiality under 'personal choice'. Every action we do is ultimately a personal choice. For example, we dont engage in using foul language because we want to have good manners, yet it is still a personal choice. Just bc smtng is a personal choice, it doesnt make it right.
This is the exact reason I feel our perception of dark complexion continues to exist bc the concept that it is an ok thing to reject someone with a dark compexion is lumped under one's personal choice. I really hope this is not smtng we teach our kids, else there is no way this sort of discrimination will be eliminated from our society.
To the OP: IMO it is wrong to reject someone based solely on their complexion. Piety is the number one criteria for marriage.
Re: the complexion..... part 2
don't marry someone you're not attracted to.
Re: the complexion..... part 2
Hmm being an attractive person is play a vital role through out our life. Even some firms here do prefer attractive/good looking candidates. We fall in love when someone is attractive, we interested in rishta when someone is attractive, we blah blah blah when we found someone attractive.
No place for un attractive people in this world, and after-world too.
Re: the complexion..... part 2
After-world??
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^ Like hoor and all this stuff would be attractive... that was my stupid point :)
Re: the complexion..... part 2
Yes and even though it should not be encouraged and I do not attest to the concept, there is nothing wrong in it. Its the matter of personal choice.
I love it when people justify their superficiality under 'personal choice'. .
Haa haa, Hula ne D6C kee besti kharab kar di
Re: the complexion..... part 2
So in other words you are saying that physical or otherwise appearance/attraction does not matter when looking for Rishta? and even if someone is not attracted towards the other person (physically) they should still marry him/her and ruin two lives...
and that being said, I am interested in knowing how many of the girls will be ready to date and/or marry a guy who is mota, kala and ganja and who is just 6inch shorter than girl? any takers?
and your analogy of foul language does not fit well here as you DO NOT HAVE to live your life with "foul language"
You are perhaps talking about robots living in ideal world, I am talking about humans living in this world.
Why do people automatically assume that just bc you are not attracted to someone's looks prior to marriage, two lives will be ruined. That is actually the most unfortunate thing imo that two human beings have SO much to offer like love, sincerity, and every characteristic that makes a human a human being, yet so much emphasis is placed on a temporary sense of attractiveness that it can break a sacred union like a marriage. Didnt people in our parents time got married without even looking at each other and had absolutely the strongest long lasting relationships?..Just bc Ive seen that I refuse to believe that looks should have the strength to break a marriage, if it can break a marriage, we are doing smtng wrong and we need to change that rather than justify it. Imagine a world where you teach your kids that it does not matter how someone looks
Re: the complexion..... part 2
^ no one thinks this way...
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Take a chill pill.
No one is advocating to put looks as the first & only priority here and yes life will be easy and good without such item in check-list BUT if someone IS in fact including that as a criteria, there is nothing wrong in it, not religiously and not logically. They should not be condemned for it.
and for heaven sake, do not give example of "our parents time". People did things in that time that you will ridicule without giving a 2nd thought. In that era, wife/bahoo compromised to the level that most of the girl of this age will refuse to accept for 1 second. 1400 years ago Islam gave freedom to people to choose their bride and groom and defined the criteria and likeness was one of the criteria. No one can tell me today that its wrong.
baat srif itni see hai k if someone does not have this (physical attraction criteria) then its very good but if someone has, this does not make them evil.
Why do people automatically assume that just bc you are not attracted to someone's looks prior to marriage, two lives will be ruined. That is actually the most unfortunate thing imo that two human beings have SO much to offer like love, sincerity, and every characteristic that makes a human a human being, yet so much emphasis is placed on a temporary sense of attractiveness that it can break a sacred union like a marriage. Didnt people in our parents time got married without even looking at each other and had absolutely the strongest long lasting relationships?..Just bc Ive seen that I refuse to believe that looks should have the strength to break a marriage, if it can break a marriage, we are doing smtng wrong and we need to change that rather than justify it. Imagine a world where you teach your kids that it does not matter how someone looks
Re: the complexion..... part 2
You need to find them attractive to want to sleep with them.. but of course different ppl find different things attractive (looks or character)..
Re: the complexion..... part 2
You need to find them attractive to want to sleep with them.. but of course different ppl find different things attractive (looks or character)..
I havent once said people who make decisions like marriage based on looks are evil, I just pity them for not being able to look beyond appearances.
I do wonder though, for men who rejected women based on dark complexion, would your stance change if tomorrow your daughter has a dark complexion and this type of non sense continues to exist in our world and someone rejected your daughter this way. I honestly wish for a society where this type of discrimination does not exist and to say everything is legit based on personal choice is further engraving this discrimination.
Re: the complexion..... part 2
I havent once said people who make decisions like marriage based on looks are evil, I just pity them for not being able to look beyond appearances.
I do wonder though, for men who rejected women based on dark complexion, would your stance change if tomorrow your daughter has a dark complexion and this type of non sense continues to exist in our world and someone rejected your daughter this way. I honestly wish for a society where this type of discrimination does not exist and to say everything is legit based on personal choice is further engraving this discrimination.
Oh please. Looks are important. I pity naive people like you who feel their ideals can override human nature. People are programmed to like what looks good. We like pretty people. We like to look at them. We are more attracted to them. You need to be attracted to someone to want to sleep with them. A large part of attraction is based on looks. You can huff and puff all you want but most people prefer to form relationships with someone who is attractive. It's not wrong for someone to not want to marry someone they do not find attractive.
I personally do not think darker skin is ugly. But you can't force other people to find darker skin attractive. If someone rejects you based on your skintone, good for him/her and good for you. It isn't a big deal. You're better off without them. People should be happy when someone is attracted to them partly because of their looks rather than in spite of their looks. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't think I looked good and who only married me for whatever so-called impression they had of my personality.
As long as someone doesn't think darker people are inferior or should be treated badly, they're not 'discriminating' against them. Some people don't find darker people attractive. Some people don't find pasty-white people attractive. Some people don't find fat people attractive. Some people don't find skinny people attractive. I'm so sick and tired of reading people rant on and on about how desi men don't like darker skin.
Re: the complexion… part 2
I never said you did 
Wanting to find your partner attractive isn’t being ‘superficial’.. it only becomes that if your WHOLE relationship revolves around looks..
Personally I couldn’t care less about skin tone… If someone likes pale skin there are are always others who like darker or medium complexions.. All types of looks should be appreciated.. Like Marmalade said you can’t MAKE someone find something attractive which they don’t.. If it’s because society teaches or ‘brainwashes’ them to ONLY like pale skin obviously that’s wrong but at the end of the day it’s human nature to have different tastes..