It’s the deadliest combination going: bullies who get what they want from their target, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who either watch, participate, or look away, and adults who see the incidents as simply ‘teasing’ and a normal part of childhood. Discussing her new book, the bully, the bullied, and the bystander, Barbara Coloroso gives parents, caregivers, educators—and most of all, kids—the tools to break this cycle of violence.
Only recently , this phenomenon has caught my attention. Having spent a lot of my life in schools, its strange that I rarely noticed this whole bullying business. And now that I think back, Im sure there were signs that I must have overlooked or missed while my mind was busy elswhere.
Exactly how many of you parents are aware of what your child goes through at school - or might have to. Because obviously bullying is more subtle and serious then a lot of us make it out to be.
Goodness so many children committed suicide because of bullies, this might be another one of those “are our schools save enough” rants - but I think its something that definately deserves more attention then we give to it.
aww shoot. Connie see so many kids go through the same every single day. Unfortunately theres only so much we can do... but Ive noticed so many parents will buy silly excuses from their kids. I dont really know why parents dont question their children more - where they should.
matsui--- Its a bit tiring waiting for something sensible from you. I give up.
toughen up MQ. Life doesn't get easier. It is a competitive world. Kids also need to learn on their own in how to deal with bullies...today it is a school kid, tomorrow it is your boss.. Prophet chaltahai was bang on...banging on.
If as a parent you cannot notice changes in your child's behaviour, his aversion to school, drop in grades, physical signs then you should promptly take your head out of your ass and get slapped prefereably with gloves on.
Children still will need to confront the problem. You can guide them but the learning will be all them. SO toughen them up....
Every family has its own ways of ‘toughening up’ the kids. My Chacha who raised all of us boys was a tough guy (I am by no means suggesting that his methods should be applied universally), he used to tell us and I quote: “If you come home beaten, I will beat the crap out of you”. And I believe it worked well on me and my cousins. We were never intimidated in schools by anyone and we were not the bullying kind either. We were basically Shareef guys who no one wanted to mess with.
Madhanee-- er interesting. I - in one of my tempermental moods- told a friends kid to smack the kid who smacked him. But maybe telling them to stand up for themselves works - no need to bully back. But if a kid stands up for himself, chances are he/she will be alright. Its usually the timid kids who get picked on- the kids who cant do anything for themselves, and anybody can pick these kids out of a crowd of a hundred.
matsui--- Im sure you know that signs of physical bullying are easily detected, but those of psychological are not. Which is why I brought this topic up. And yeah even some really smart , intelligent people seem to miss out when their kid is being bullied. Not that they might not notice, but they simply dont take the time to get into their kids life.
I got bullied once in school when I was in seventh grade. They were 10th graders. Well, I came home and told my friends. We cornered one of those mofos in the street and beat the crap out of him and told him if he or his friends tried to get back at us, we won't come after them when they are in a group. We'll just follow them around till they are alone and beat them one by one. Cuz let's face it, bunch of 7th graders going after a bunch of 10th graders isn't a smart idea. But eight or nine 7th graders going after ONE 10th graders certainly makes more sense. didn't have any problems after that.
i usually push one of the bystander in between the bully and the one being bullied. usually this allows the amused watcher to participate in the action :k:
I was never picked on as a child despite I was a lil fob girl in 4th grade and now that i think about it, i got away pretty easily during the difficult time when fitting in was a challenge enough. One of my relative on my inlaws side, born n raised here casually mentioned how kids in her bus made fun of her n bullied her. She wasnt open about it, but i hate how she felt. Its an ongoin cycle and shes now accepted it. She doesnt welcome it but she is alright with it. How sad. Plus i dont think her parents know because she probably wouldnt want her parents getting in touch with the parents of the bully. Its definitly not okay to say kids will be kids n the strong will survive. It affects the self worth of children in their own eyes. I wish teachers would take their time out to address this in schools. Usually in our school, we noticed kids fought an inch outside the school property and the principals, school guards n teachers would do nothing because its not on school property an hence they r not responsible. Isnt there a moral obligation as their peers to make it their responsibility. I observed the security guards and deans/guidance counselor were on pretty damn good terms with the bullies. It was wierd. They were known as the cool kids, so it was okay to make fun of someone, tease someone and get away with it. Schools really need to tackle this issues and mediation programs arent enough- What is a mediator gonna do when the school adminsitrations takes it as a joke. Its sad. Im done ranting.
Bullying IS wrong but to take bullying is also wrong. Why should you allow anyone to bully you? No one has the right to do that. Don't be a coward, be strong and stand up for yourself. Don't take cra* from anyone ever.
when my bros and i used to fight as kids and my bro used to beat me i used to go to my dad crying k he hit me and my dad was like tum bhee aagay se maaro
but he WAS stronger than me so mein aagay se maarti bhee toh kia faaida hota? he would still win the fight innit? :o
aww.. my folks trained me very early not to hit larkiyaan.. although i guess they overdid it because then i used to be bullied in school by larkis. there was this one girl named stacey in class 3 who used to pinch me and tell me she hated me. every day. i mean why everyday? i know already. what makes her think i think she likes me now during the time since the last pinch? i know she hates me. why the pinch? why?
my brothers were such meanies omg they used to both gang up on me khair i was quite evil myself as well
u know my most popular hairstyle was those two ponytails on either side of my head (those “gayay k seengh” ) and they both used to grab one and pull me in either direction
omg its all coming back to me!!!
p.s. i also lost two of my front teeth both together and they used to call me “bateesi case”
i like your brothers :). i used to tease my cousin. but it used to be more subtle mind games oriented torture. i used to pour chilli sauce onto a teaspoon and say zehra ketchup lo gi and shed come running over..
funny thing was she'd forget that its never ketchup in about two days :-/
btw stacy didnt like me she really hated me :( . oncce she made me nervous for a school play by the pinch and i really messed up my lines :(
yikes, I've heard brothers fighting but I've never heard older brothers beat up on the younger sister. Irem, your brothers don't seem to know proper etiquette.
. guess it worked tho.
he would still win the fight innit? :o
omg they used to both gang up on me 
khair i was quite evil myself as well 
boys r evil 