The 90/10 Principle

i simply looooooooooooooooved this mail…and it has really changed my life to the great extent…dont miss it guys

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don’t let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let’s use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react.You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.

She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is " D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It’s ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why? Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don’t have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off)
Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.

Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.

We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!!

Re: The 90/10 Principle

i just felt like sharing it with you guys...

Re: The 90/10 Principle

-it does change the entire perspective of taking things/life easy and not wasting ur energy at something useless

thanks barbie :) that was a good read

Re: The 90/10 Principle

For any "priniple"to be universal, all examples should be applicable, not just a mild one like "daughter spilling coffee on daddy's shirt."
How about this one.
Your husband is an asshole of a man who tells you he has cheated on you and now wants to divorce you. What do you do? According to this "principle" you keep calm, smile, and then walk away. He laughs at you thinking this is easy, and then he does it again with the next girl. This "principle" tells you how to be a sucker in life.

Re: The 90/10 Principle

you just smile at him and walk out of the door - in response to ur husband cheating and not go crazy thinking why oh why me ?

Re: The 90/10 Principle

yeah...its not gonna burn his tissues if you are crying and shouting after him.....you gonna hurt your own stupid self.....

Re: The 90/10 Principle

I would kick him in the junk before i leave.
I'm sorry but that would be cathartic for me
For other things, i like barbie's approach

Re: The 90/10 Principle

This principle does teach you how to be a loser. I agree with dope that it is not universally applicable. How about someone conspires against you at work? will you still let it go even if you are fired because of that person or wil you give him a piece of your mind?

So as much as it sounds all pleasant, there are numerous analogies that will prove this principle to be inapplicable.

Re: The 90/10 Principle

chandler...if someone is plotting a game against you ......and you also KNOW about the stupid plan...it means things are IN YOUR hand.......and you can handle em with care ....

Re: The 90/10 Principle

Scenario 3

Daughter spills coffee over father

he gives her a good slap, ...shouts at the mother for not doing her job watching the child
the child is late due to the changing of clothes palaver
and pops has a bad day at work

BUT... the child remembers the slap and never spills coffee on daddy again..
and the mother remembers to watch child so child never spills coffee on daddy again

you sacrifice one bad day for not having anymore
the moral of this story is
if you deal with a situation properly...you can make sure it doesnt happen again

who cares about 90/10

Re: The 90/10 Principle

^^ What if you found out AFTER it happened? Wont it ruin your day and your coming days because it cost you your job? Yes It is in your hand but you cannot help gettig upset can you?

Like I said there are numerous analogies that I can come up with to prove the inapplicability of the principle here. It is a nice principle indeed with nice words and all but you cannot apply all over your life issues

Re: The 90/10 Principle

so in the end..

you guys dont really wanna be sweet and nice..:cb:

Re: The 90/10 Principle

No we do but one cannot be sweet and nice everytime! Do you know anyone who is always sweet and nice? Are you always that?

Re: The 90/10 Principle

:( no i am not...but i am trying to be nice and all that........

Re: The 90/10 Principle

But you cannot help getting upset and ruining your day at times, right?

Re: The 90/10 Principle

Barbie Girl
you are nice and sweet and thats really lovely…dont change if you dont have to:flower2:

But sometimes in the real world you need to act like an :mad: dragon

Re: The 90/10 Principle

oh no laizy i am not at all sweet and nice......but after reading this mail i felt little light.....

yeah chandler you are absolutely right....but atleast we can try to be nice..if not on each and everymatter , atleast on few matters...

Re: The 90/10 Principle

Right-o. Its a tough world out there. People eat you alive if you are always sweet and nice. :bummer:

Re: The 90/10 Principle

:( what to do ..where to go

Re: The 90/10 Principle

Yes I agree with that. Read my posts above. I never said that one should not be sweet and all. I merely said that it is not possible in each case. Being a grumpy butt wont help your mental health.