if no women likes to share…
then are those who are the 2nd,3rd 4th wives…not women??
are the 2nd,3rd,4th wives… evil? bad-charactered? messed up in the head?
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
Women do not like to share yes.
Those who can share have more "zarf" than most women. And more tolerance and patience. May Allah give them their due reward for dealing with such situations in a dignified manner.
Men who go for second and subsequent marriage are not always portrayed as evil incarnate. Nor are they necessarily evil. As @Mirch said , there are very noble reasons for a second and subsequent marriage as well.
Nor are the women he marries evil or bad. You are making very broad generalisations.
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
^you need to see those polygamy threads on life1.......
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
:P I started them nomi, some answers are negative, some are positive.
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
^i was talking about old ones.......all included ,not talking about your thread (this is for the mods too.........before you edit my post again)
I will sum up for you...
2nd wife is referred to as 'home wrecker' usually...
the husband is referred to as 'can't keep it in his pants'
and the way for a husband to get to the point of marrying another woman is for him to start an affair (while being married) which is cheating basically.
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
if no women likes to share.......
then are those who are the 2nd,3rd 4th wives.....not women??
are the 2nd,3rd,4th wives.... evil? bad-charactered? messed up in the head?
Women (and men) don't like to share. They also get a thrill from knowing that they have enough power/beauty/blahblah to attract a committed man and make him more her own than that of the first wife.
And in other cases, for those women who haven't found any companionship for whatever reason, something is better than nothing.
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
nomi, all these are very valid and a harsh reality - yet i dont know how to contribute to this any further
but one point i would like to make here is we are all talking about people who think they are intellectuals, thus they project their opinions and voices and this is what you are mentioning.
if you go to lower, lower middle class in pakistan, the first wives are in some ways grateful that after bringing the new wife they didnt throw the them out along with the kids in most cases. in such cases and others both wives accept each other and learn to living together.
if you havent already, you should read 'a thousand splendid suns' by khalid hosseni - its a story about two wives with an age difference of mother and daughter
^i was talking about old ones.......all included ,not talking about your thread (this is for the mods too.........before you edit my post again)
I will sum up for you...
2nd wife is referred to as 'home wrecker' usually... the husband is referred to as 'can't keep it in his pants' and the way for a husband to get to the point of marrying another woman is for him to start an affair (while being married) which is cheating basically.
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
Sometimes the second wives are just innocent young girls who don't always have a say. I know a man who got married again cos his first wife couldnt have children, and he married a much younger girl who could hardly be called a homewrecker. Another case I know if where a marriage broke down but the wife refused to let her husband divorce her and said he could have another wife but she would not be able to bear the 'stigma' of being divorced...so he like a fool (in my opinion) agreed and took another wife. the second wife isn't always at fault here.
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
I think it was Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad who said men with multiple wives are either very unIslamic or very Islamic. No in betweens!
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
then are those who are the 2nd,3rd 4th wives.....not women??
Women do not like to share yes.
.
and to add to Demense ...
but they love to take over. I think the 2nd or 3rd or 4th wife gets some kick out of the feeling that I must be the best amongst all the existing wives that is why he is marrying me even though he is already married.
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^ haha TLK, by sharing I was predominantly referring to the first wife
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TLK, you hit the nail on the head!
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives…
. . . and its all fine if it can be about us men for once 
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This is what I say every single time...
Its always the single guys that talk about marrying 4 times...pehle ek dafa karlo. :)
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
^ so?? what about the question asked?? nothing to say about that??
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
Islam introduced the limit to 4 wifes, before that a man could have as many wives as he wanted. At the time of islams conception a ban on multiple wives would not have been accepted, therefore for islam to be commonly accepted the limit was set to 4.
weird how some follow every letter of islam but when it comes to things they dont agree with (like your husband marrying a 2nd wive) they say things like "if my husband did that i would divorce" , when infact it is writtten just like every other letter in islam that that is the correct way.
I grew up on a street with a pakistani family and their daughter married a high society politician, they had a son, and a few years later he got married again to his 2nd wife. the first wife was devistated, but life goes on. When your rich you can keep the wives seperate. So their would be less conflict and jelousy.
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Better to get a 2nd wife than a mistress :)
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
it depends which part of the world you live in
lhr, ny, or amazon etc.
Better to get a 2nd wife than a mistress :)
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
if no women likes to share.......
then are those who are the 2nd,3rd 4th wives.....not women??
are the 2nd,3rd,4th wives.... evil? bad-charactered? messed up in the head?
No.
They feel they are majboor.
Islam allows a second, third and fourth wife. Sure. But Islam talks about being good to your partner, respecting a woman and her place in your home. You can marry as many times as you want...kaun rokega? But that won't give you much peace of mind. And furthermore, if you make someone else miserable...let them go so both of you can find happiness.
Just because Islam allows a man to marry so many times doesn't mean I have to live or deal with these women. Islam allows you to marry again and me to demand separate accommodations along with pretty much anything I want to feed his kids and maintain myself.
This is what I mean...itna asaan nahin hai jitna ke aap log samajte ho.
Re: The 2nd,3rd,4th wives......
No.
They feel they are majboor.
Islam allows a second, third and fourth wife. Sure. But Islam talks about being good to your partner, respecting a woman and her place in your home. You can marry as many times as you want...kaun rokega? But that won't give you much peace of mind. And furthermore, if you make someone else miserable...let them go so both of you can find happiness.
Just because Islam allows a man to marry so many times doesn't mean I have to live or deal with these women. Islam allows you to marry again and me to demand separate accommodations along with pretty much anything I want to feed his kids and maintain myself.
This is what I mean...itna asaan nahin hai jitna ke aap log samajte ho.
aap ne post nahi dekhi ghor se..........these seem to be your view about polygamy,and whether you would be ok with it........but thats not the question..
my question was.......specifically about the 2nd,3rd,4th wives...........
you talked about the man (his ability to handle/do justice)
you talked about the 1st wife (she can walk away )
you didn't talk about what i had asked...
get my question?