Salaam,
To all the mommies and mommies to be, before you had kids did you have a yearning or a longing for kids? If you did have this feeling, how soon after getting married did you have kids? How did it feel being at home with the baby??
Re: That Maternal Instinct
Well the yearning comes naturaly, at least so was it with me, not that I planned this instinct to come, it came after marriage, some 6 months after marriage and living together to have a baby together..
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never had that feeling until after my miscarriage..
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Im havin the feelin right now (i tink).... im not even anywhere near engaged n dont wanna hav kids for a few yrs after shaadi, whenever it'll be :(
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^ Lol same here, i am not even married and i want a baby but then I want her/him to stay a baby
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KUKAR KHAN, if you are a female shouldnt your nick be "KUKR*I* KHAN"?
Re: That Maternal Instinct
No i am special 
Re: That Maternal Instinct
I always knew I wanted to have kids. I didn't think that would be the ultimate goal of my life but they would be an integral part of my adulthood somehow. I grew up with alot of little cousins. I was the babysitter and the caretaker so I had alot of experience. Kids always loved me for some reason. Probably because I had the same brain and primitive IQ like them. I used to wonder what my kids would be like. If they would love me. I imagined all the things I'd buy for them. So I spent alot of time thinking about it.
Then after I got married, the pressure started. Both of our mothers would not give up the, "Pir, op humay bucha kub dthogay?" A year and a half later I was rushed to the hospital with what I told myself was food poisoning. Suprise!!
Being at home with the baby was amazing. The bonding started right away in the hospital. But breastfeeding was a really beautiful experience. I think part of the mothering instinct was being able to read my baby's cues and responding correctly. Cause it's scary in the beginning. You worry that all the crying may mean that you're a bad mother and you're doing everything wrong. You may given conflicting advice by your mother or mil and it may make you lose confidence. So many women for instance are told that their baby's colic is caused by their breastmilk. Or that the baby is crying because the mother has no milk and so she should give only formula. It's hard to trust your own instinct when you have no experience and no support.
Re: That Maternal Instinct
did any of you work before having kids...do you miss working??
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I didn't have a maternal instinct untill after I had my baby, and even then it wasn't immediate.
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it comes naturally i guess!
I’ll be having my baby in april inshallah… pray that i’ll have a healthy one! (amin)
After about 4 months of marriage i had the feeling of needing a baby and then Allah blessed us with the little one a few months later!
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I guess I'd like to experience "work" before I have kids..I dunno..does that make sense?
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Hinna i am concerned about the same things you have and i secretly feel guilty: i want to enjoy my career for a couple years, get done with school etc etc InshaAllah before I think abt having a family. What to do??
Although I even feel guilty trying to "planning" it. Children are a great blessing of Allah and it makes me feel like I am being ungrateful if i do that. makes sense??Anyone else have that feeling?
Re: That Maternal Instinct
congratulations! is this your first one?
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Hinna, I finished University and worked for a couple years before getting married. Then I also worked after marriage for a year and a half. I stopped working when I was almost 4 months pregnant. There are times when I feel like I'm not 'contributing' financially. But I personally want to raise my kids and be with them 100% right now.
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awwwww saimaaaaaaaaaa...........lobe you so much...............
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Im still lacking this maternal instinct thing.
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I agree with shahreen, but i conceived my baby 2 months after my marriage. Even when he was born I must admit that i didnt feel anything for him, i was just confused. Maybe because i was expecting that it was the girl cuz the doctor told me so in 7th month. And when he was born my mother in law didnt let me hold the baby the whole time.
But the same night i was sleeping, and the baby who was 6 hrs old then was sleeping right next to me. I opened my eyes in the middle of the night and saw him stare right in my eyes.. I can never forget that moment. Then i realized how much i love him and how much he means to me.
and now that he is almost three years old. i feel that i should try for another one. But lets see what happens :)
I wanted to work so badly before my marriage, but i got married as soon as i submitted the research report. and then i got pregnant, then i felt the baby needs me more than i need to work. its the full time job and i dont want to fail in raising my kid well, halanke, at that time i was living in joint family. My jaithani works and her 2 kids are raised by our motherin law. And i see that their mother has no control over them... I dont want that for my child.
Re: That Maternal Instinct
yes it is