I met this Korean guy in Turkey at a train station. During discussion he politely showed curiosity regarding why Muslim women cover themselves so much ? There was no time for long discussions, so my small mind came up with an odd (stupid) example.
I said to him, “You see, as we all men sit here and a woman passes by, wearing less clothes. It would immediately attract a lustful attention of all the men, because it is in men’s nature to get attracted to it. That is why, in order to protect women from illegal desires of stranger men, she needs to cover herself and men need to control their gaze so that such lustful feelings don’t arise in their heart. On the contrary, if there are all women sitting here and a stranger man passes by, no woman would even bother to look…”
“Who said so..?” A meaningful naughty smile on his face interrupted me.
“Sorry…what?” I was surprised.
As he went towards his train, my mind went to my past. When my cousin bajis used to ask me about girls in my class (unfortunately, our parents put us in co-education) I didn’t even know which girl was in my class and how did they look like, because it was drummed in our minds to mind our own business (Which I am thankful for). Even if someone tried to talk to us we used to avoid looking at them and used to move away from them soon, without being rude. But bajis used to recognize any guy in the market, shopping centers…etc…At times I was even embarrassed that they know more about the boys studying in my school and it was perfectly normal and impressive for us that they have such a sharp observation + memory. This boy resembles that actor, and…WOW ! I didn’t even look at the face features of even my friends so closely and then take time to compare his eyes, nose and face..etc. with those of the list of actors in my memory. How do you do that. It was really embarrassing for me. I wanted to learn this art but couldn’t.
It was because lowering of men’s gaze and covering of women was always taught and emphasized to us, but the society never seemed to think of the other way round. Even though I am sure that women don’t look at stranger men with a lustful gaze that is why men don’t bother too much about covering themselves. BUT still, there must be some ruling regarding this matter. I need to check it from a religious scholars as soon as possible.
I need to leave, because I know people would throw everything at me.
Re: That Korean guy shocked me by his views about women
A common misconception is that hijab is just for women. Men are supposed to observe hijab as well but since they're biologically and psychologically different, the ruling for hijab observed by women is different as opposed to men. Men are not supposed to be wearing short shorts (has to be covering up to their knees) to begin with. Stop blaming women for gazing if they're not doing what they're supposed to be doing to begin with! :P
Re: That Korean guy shocked me by his views about women
I agree with some of the points on men too...
Back home a guy in shorts would be beaten up just as likely as a woman would for wearing a skirt... maybe not a good thing but it was still a very neat and ordered system and to be honest I loved it. :)
Re: That Korean guy shocked me by his views about women
Hahah, truly laughable.
I’ve always been in educational institutions with co-education, as has my brother and all my family. No ‘EVIL’ exists anywhere, it all depends on the person. Neither of us has been ‘corrupted’ or ‘fallen to the devils desires’
As for ‘learning nothing’, they’ve all grown up to be doctors, and in one case a lawyer
Re: That Korean guy shocked me by his views about women
Generally speaking, on a serious note: I don't judge the intentions of the people who study in co-education or work in any mixed gatherings. They are responsible for their intentions and deeds. I would only speak for myself. Throughout my childhood, I was forced to be part of such gutters. (Sorry for the word. Just my understanding. Please pray that Allah (swt) may guide me towards the right path).
I would be the first one inshaAllah to open a mixed gathering institution, if someone educate my confused mind and convince me about any such gatherings in the times of the prophet (saw). Yours and mine self control, modesty and cleanliness of heart is WORST than negligible when compared to that of any single Prophet or Suhabi. Yet the prophet (saw) never ever encouraged stranger women to even sit in the same room with HIMSELF in one place, let alone the Suhabas, whether it is education or anything else. History is open in front of us. Was there any such mixed education/institutions...etc.
But I don't blame the people who are forced to be part of such environment / institutions. But instead of justifying it, at least I should admit and repent that I was part of the gatherings that Allah (swt) dislikes. Allah (swt) would inshaAllah reward us for trying to keep ourselves away from interactions to our level best / to the extent that is in our control.
I used to at times feel tempted to justify what I was forced to be part of, but then again, I can fool myself but not my Allah (swt).
Re: That Korean guy shocked me by his views about women
You cant be serious?(!) ^
I agree, noone I know who went to co-education Unis turned evil. I’d say the people who haven’t been to co-education places are the more narrow-minded I’ve come across. Not generalising but based on a few examples in my life.
Re: That Korean guy shocked me by his views about women
What Allah (Swt) is pleased with and what HE isn't please with is to be judged by the lifestyle of the Prophet (saw). People like me should only hope and humbly pray that Allah (swt) may forgive them for their intentions and repentance.
Re: That Korean guy shocked me by his views about women
Back home a guy in shorts would be beaten up just as likely as a woman would for wearing a skirt... maybe not a good thing but it was still a very neat and ordered system and to be honest I loved it.
yes it definately WAS a good system
but unfortunately times have changed for the worse in pakistan too....
muslim girls wearing skimpy clothes and open dating is going on
we have succumbed to all bad habits of western society and adopted none of the good.
Re: That Korean guy shocked me by his views about women
My understanding of the passage from the Quran is that both men and women are instructed to lower their gaze, implying of course that women too can have a lustful gaze.
Re: That Korean guy shocked me by his views about women
Sure, even Christians and Jews believe it to be true. Just like Muslims, they also believe that all the 124000 Prophets had beard, yet they were attractive. But for few of our present age Bollywood and Hollywood trained minds, a ‘bearded man’ and ‘attraction’ don’t go along too well specially while considering a proposal, and you start fearing that the authenticity of even this story might be questioned.
