^ Yes, it's a beautiful thing to be able to take care of your aging parents. How sad is it that women can't fulfill her desire to take care of her parents and get lots of duas in our culture. This is where it starts making me really really angry. And It makes me angrier to think I have no brothers so my parents never thought that their daughters could ever take care of them.. All because of this damn culture and society..that's why I don't sympathize with Desi men that get emotional thinking about their parents.
^Theorist, just because your husband does not let you take care of your parents, doeesnt mean the whole world is bad and all husbands are like that. So please stop generlizing and blaming the religion , culture and society. Those who take care of all the four parents live on this earth too, and part of same culture and society you, me , everyone belongs to.
^This is exactly what I mean when I say Desis are spoon fed things that are non existent outside of our culture and they wrongfully attribute to the religion os Islam - not that I am much impressed by either one. I am just saying..
I love my parents to death. The point is parents are humans just like you and me some will make good decisions other will make bad ones. It's their decision to have children, they are responsible for raising THEIR children because THEY had them. THey are not responsible for keeping you with them after you are old enough to take care of yourself. As adults, you are not responsible for them but SHOULD take care of them in their old age. use common sense and basic humanity principles. If you need a religion to tell you that.. well I don't have much hope for you..
Exactly that, the common sense , is what your husband needs. Please do not blame the whole world for this.
^Theorist, just because your husband does not let you take care of your parents, doeesnt mean the whole world is bad and all husbands are like that. So please stop generlizing and blaming the religion , culture and society. Those who take care of all the four parents live on this earth too, and part of same culture and society you, me , everyone belongs to.
No dude, it's not my husband. My husband agrees with me. It's his parents that had him thinking he was going to be their retirement plan. How did they come to this conclusion? Culture - Indian/pak culture. How should I blame my husband when his parents rely on him? He is only being a good son and a good husband. I blame the culture because if it weren't for this culture, his dad would have worked up enough savings to support his own family. BUT NOO, he sends money HOME whenever they ask for it because he is their oldest brother, so his siblings back home rely on him. How should I blame his dad? I can't blame his dad either. They are both doing what they should be doing So i blame your misogynistic culture.
No dude, it's not my husband. My husband agrees with me. It's his parents that had him thinking he was going to be their retirement plan. How did they come to this conclusion? Culture - Indian/pak culture. How should I blame my husband when his parents rely on him? He is only being a good son and a good husband. I blame the culture because if it weren't for this culture, his dad would have worked up enough savings to support his own family. BUT NOO, he sends money HOME whenever they ask for it because he is their oldest brother, so his siblings back home rely on him. How should I blame his dad? I can't blame his dad either. They are both doing what they should be doing So i blame your misogynistic culture.
In our culture, we don't really kick kids out when they are 18 and let them support themselves. Most of the guys who study abroad or in expensive institutions in Pakistan are supported by their parents throughout, almost all of them at least initially. They are not entirely wrong to assume that the kids would support them when needed later.
It is funny to see gora kids working part-time jobs to get them through university while brown sahibs send a letter home.
In our culture, we don't really** kick kids **out when they are 18 and let them support themselves. Most of the guys who study abroad or in expensive institutions in Pakistan are supported by their parents throughout, almost all of them at least initially. They are not entirely wrong to assume that the kids would support them when needed later.
It is funny to see gora kids working part-time jobs to get them through university while brown sahibs send a letter home.
By kids you mean male children? Yes, desi parents don't kick them out but as soon as their daughters turn 18 they start thinking about getting her married. How is this fair?
In my husband's case and in my family in general, I don't know a single parent that paid for their kids' tuition yet expect them to take care of the entire family when they are adults.
There's so much wrong with what you are saying and you don't even realize it! First, even if i agree with your statement about parents paying for their kids' tuition and taking care of them until they get married, it still doesn't make it right because most desi parents spend twice the money on their male children's education than the female children. < This is actually something that I see ALL THE TIME!
If it weren't for their selfish/cultural reasons, they wouldn't wish for a BOY everytime a woman is pregnant. Can you really deny this? On the other hand, the same parents would start collecting Jehaz for the girl and by the time she is old enough they have enough dowry secured for her marriage.
See, I have spent way more time thinking and analyzing the very culture I come from. These inequalities are so heavily embedded in our society that people don't think at all about what they are doing. A girl's emotions are swept under the carpet but nobody wants to correct the problem!
^Theorist, too much of discrimination happening in your family. Anyways what you are saying is not 100% cultural but its the mentality of the person too.
@Theorist
out of curiosity may I ask why did you marry a desi?
you don't seem to like the culture much and yet you're stuck in it.
quite heavily
living with inlaws etc
why don't you move out?