Re: tell me what to do
whats there to decide?? or think or consider??
end it ASAP.......you can't move there......can't survive/adjust/tolerate the life there........... so just let it go.
Re: tell me what to do
marriage is a huge decision and I dont think you can base your decision as to what ppl think or suggest, that being said i suggest you and your "to be spouse" should have a detailed discussion that and hear each other out and then make the best possible decision, this is a life long commitment and should not be ended based on such issues, trust me there will be bigger and tougher decisions you will have to make later in life so learn the value of communication.
tell me what to do
Did he ans yet?
Re: tell me what to do
Everyone has their preference. Plenty of girls move across the world to go where their husbands are and there is nothing wrong with that. But if OP doesn't want to move then it should be made clear before they get married.
Offcourse! I never meant that girls MUST move after marriage. She should have let the guy know that there is no way the she would move to Pakistan.
@OP
If you are thinking about your family (being a good daughter) and career then you should also think about his family and his career. Now the only thing you can do (to prove to him that you are not selfish) is maybe look for job options for him here (though that is very unlikely)
Re: tell me what to do
My husband is also originally from Pak. His parents and siblings still live there. Before we got married I made sure to tell him that would not, ever, want to move to Pakistan. It's not that I don't like the country, I LOVE it. But being raised in a western country you become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. I can't see myself living in Pakistan. He understands and has never pressured me into changing my mind. He even, once, expressed that he might want to move back .. but ONLY if I wanted to. I said no.
Now after having a baby he doesn't want to go back.
You're not married yet. If you can't see yourself living in Pakistan do not get married to this guy. It might seem like a small thing but it's a huge deal. It will affect the rest of your life, not necessarily in a bad way, but if you are not comfortable with it ... don't do it! Say no now if you think he wont change his mind. I think there's another member on here (Nadz?) who married someone from pak and now she's sick of living there and wants to go back home
Re: tell me what to do
Offcourse! I never meant that girls MUST move after marriage. She should have let the guy know that there is no way the she would move to Pakistan.
@OP
If you are thinking about your family (being a good daughter) and career then you should also think about his family and his career. Now the only thing you can do (to prove to him that you are not selfish) is maybe look for job options for him here (though that is very unlikely)
actually if he has some skills and good educational background, he should not have difficulty finding a job here in US. But he would have to make an effort looking for it, like anyone would do either they are in US or Pakistan(unless you get jobs through personal contacts in Pakistan without merit).
Why is it always women trying to prove, why for once men can't prove that they will support their wife, sisters, mother.
Re: tell me what to do
If you two want different things from life and want to lead different lifestyles, it is best not to pursue the marriage.
Or alternatively the two could try, perhaps a little more extensively this time, to find a middle ground somewhere in between like two mature individuals would generally be expected to do. Overcome their one major weakness, that is.
It could just be me, but I'd rather be the last person standing on the brinks of defeat over a relationship, that at some point of time, clearly promised to be a worthwhile one. I could fall eight times and still be hopeful to stand up, she could fail me once and I might just not rise.
End point. Don't give up. Just not as yet. Pull the minion by his collar if you must to get him to listen and understand the magnitude of concern you're carrying over the said issue. Once you've managed to get his devoted attention, he should let you know of his true intentions. Every sane man does, eventually.
Re: tell me what to do
he agreed that he will be willing to relocate after marriage as long i dont come back until he is able to come to USA with me... i have no problem with that..
Re: tell me what to do
he agreed that he will be willing to relocate after marriage as long i dont come back until he is able to come to USA with me... i have no problem with that..
what he doesn't want to see you after marriage...?
Re: tell me what to do
oh God!!!!! the extent to which some men go to stay in a foreign country......
Re: tell me what to do
what he doesn't want to see you after marriage...?
she means he doesn't want her to come to the US alone without him until he has something figured out.
at least that's what i got.
and i think that's a good idea.