i am new member here.. i have been engaged for 8 months getting married in December. my fiance is from back home and recently a issue came between us he wants me to live with him in Pakistan, which i thought for sometime until all the visa process is done… but the way he talks makes it seem like i will be there forever or he is not planning to come USA with me. every time i try to talk about it the answer is we will talk about after marriage.i am oldest in my house and have just recently finished my RN i want to make a life for myself in USA and be a good wife and daughter at the same time.
how do i tell him what i want clearly without being disrespectful?
Re: tell me what to do
Nadz much?
Re: tell me what to do
i am new member here.. i have been engaged for 8 months getting married in December. my fiance is from back home and recently a issue came between us he wants me to live with him in Pakistan, which i thought for sometime until all the visa process is done.... but the way he talks makes it seem like i will be there forever or he is not planning to come USA with me. every time i try to talk about it the answer is we will talk about after marriage.i am oldest in my house and have just recently finished my RN i want to make a life for myself in USA and be a good wife and daughter at the same time. how do i tell him what i want clearly without being disrespectful?
You should have talked about this before you got engaged.
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i agree with kakee i hope he is not stubborn if he is saying he will talk about after marriage it means he is not planning to come to USA! I am shocked to see that someone else is facing the exact same situation as moi..but i am sure its not as bad as what i am going through i really hope things get better for you!
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You might want to reconsider this relationship. He might never want to move to the US if he is doing particularly well in Pakistan or if he thinks he won't get the same kind of respect/social standing he has in his hometown. Moving is isn't easy for anyone, be it you or him. What are his reasons for wanting to stay in Pakistan? What sort of job does he have? His job or work might have perks he may never get in the US.
Re: tell me what to do
You should have talked about this before you got engaged.
I agree. I think involve your family, maybe they can handle. But it would be better if such matters are discussed and finalized before the wedding.
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what were you thinking woman!!!!!!!!
you just don't marry a back home guy..........unless he signs immigration papers.....pshhht....
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We did talked to him b4 engagement he was ok with everything but now all of sudden he has this change.... Every time I try to talk about it turns into an argument...
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^What are his reasons for changing his mind?
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I'll give you the best advice although I don't do that much in this section. Don't ask for advice on here. The absolute worst place to ask for advice is Life1. The responses, in general, are very likely to be as follows:
you are a troll
you deserve much better
he's using/playing you
run as fast as you can
reconsider the relationship while you still have a chance
i wouldn't do it
this happened to a friend of a friend of a friend and the result wasn't pretty
...
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let me guess....he's your cousin/father's best friend from childhood's son/some other rishta, and you were pressured into saying yes cz you think you're not good enough to find a rishta in your own country?
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let me guess....he's your cousin/father's best friend from childhood's son/some other rishta, and you were pressured into saying yes cz you think you're not good enough to find a rishta in your own country?
I wonder how you figured that? She didn't say anything about being pressurized? Talk about making assumptions!
To some of you people, it's incomprehesible that someone might want to get married to someone from back home. Oh the audacity of these people. Don't they know angels roam in every street in america. Why do they go to pakistan to marry some ghatiya, narrow minded paindo.
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...
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^ Negative much?
just wanted to quote and preserve.........
Re: tell me what to do
Re: tell me what to do
We did talked to him b4 engagement he was ok with everything but now all of sudden he has this change.... Every time I try to talk about it turns into an argument...
Have you told your parents about this change in his attitude and your fear that he might refuse to move to the U.S. after the wedding?
Re: tell me what to do
I'll give you the best advice although I don't do that much in this section. Don't ask for advice on here. The absolute worst place to ask for advice is Life1. The responses, in general, are very likely to be as follows:
you are a troll
you deserve much better
he's using/playing you
run as fast as you can
reconsider the relationship while you still have a chance
i wouldn't do it
this happened to a friend of a friend of a friend and the result wasn't pretty
...
Disagree.
just wanted to quote and preserve.........
He said preserve. :D
Thanks much luv. <3
Re: tell me what to do
We did talked to him b4 engagement he was ok with everything but now all of sudden he has this change.... Every time I try to talk about it turns into an argument...
Hmm...has something changed? His job? His family situation? Like are his parents okay? Do they need him? Maybe he is feeling guilty about leaving his family.
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I wonder how you figured that? She didn't say anything about being pressurized? Talk about making assumptions!
To some of you people, it's incomprehesible that someone might want to get married to someone from back home. Oh the audacity of these people. Don't they know angels roam in every street in america. Why do they go to pakistan to marry some ghatiya, narrow minded paindo.
yeah a bunch of behaya angels roaming aroudn the streets of america whot hink theyr gods gift to the world but are gona burn in hell !
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No he is not my cousin or any kind relative ... I was not pressured in marry him.