This is alarmingly high number considering number of teenagers using cellular phones . Technology is here to advance but being Muslims and Pakistani how can we control this thing ? I do understand that we should have confidence in our siblings but we also know that its not easy to control hormones in teenage.
Is it ok if we can be little nosy and check phones of our younger brothers, sisters or sons and daughters ? Where will you draw the line ? Any other creative ideas to stop it ?
sometimes you need to be a little nosey with the young ones, just to be on the safe side. i check my little sisters phone, myspace and facebook..she doesn't know i know her passwords though.
You cant stop it really. And i highly disagree in checking phones of younger bros/sis daughter sons. Its wrong, But were all gonna make mistakes. The only thing you can do is *talk *to your kids about it. The thing with desi parents they dont talk about this to their kids. Which results in them doing it behind their parents back. When i was young my mum told me what was right and wrong. And i knew the limit. There was no need for her when i was 12 to check my phone see where i was going. Because i knew if i crossed the line there would be problems.
However on a positive note atleast you cant get pregnant through a phone!:p
One thing that this report suggests that it is peer pressure that teenagers feel . Especially for girls and this is something that continue through adult life . All the parents are not that wise to talk to their kids and as being elder brother and sister they might not even listen to you . As I remember teenage life is pretty crazy .
A little bit more from the report regarding peer pressure .
[QUOTE]
Teens also described the pressure they feel to share these types of images. One high school girl wrote: “When I was about 14-15 years old, I received/sent these types of pictures. Boys usually ask for them or start that type of conversation. My boyfriend, or someone I really liked asked for them. And I felt like if I didn’t do it, they wouldn’t continue to talk to me. At the time, it was no big deal. But now looking back it was definitely inappropriate and over the line.”
[/QUOTE]
However on a positive note atleast you cant get pregnant through a phone!:p
Yeah but ur picture can get passed around to millions of people and ruin your reputation. I doubt the dudes who pressure girls for pics have many scruples na :p
One thing that this report suggests that it is peer pressure that teenagers feel . Especially for girls and this is something that continue through adult life . All the parents are not that wise to talk to their kids and as being elder brother and sister they might not even listen to you . As I remember teenage life is pretty crazy .
A little bit more from the report regarding peer pressure .
I think this is more of an issue of self esteem and self respect. A girl who is low on it or has none will fall to that pressure to keep the guy. Alot of people dont give much importance to it or think about it very much but establishing it starts very early in life...
I have found a better method that works with my teenaged brother.
I got his trust first, that he could share whatever it is in his life, with me, if he wants to. It is honest trust. Believe me, teenagers WANT to be able to get advice from people they respect, and obviously don't want to be judged for what they are doing. After I got his trust, I pushed him to be honest with himself. I pushed him to see what he wanted to do with his eyes open, even if it was something he isn't allowed to do. And then think about the consequences in terms of what family would say, and how it would affect him.
A lot of times, he has just done whatever he wanted to do without thinking about the consequences. But I helped him deal with it healthily. Once he is emotionally done dealing with the consequences, he looks at his actions, and I find him telling me all the things I told him in the past about why a certain thing is wrong. But this time around, he feels it and means it. He learns his lessons - because of the consequences he had to go through.
Good thing is, he hasn't gotten himself caught in really bad situations. I think that is because he is a sensible kid and because of how my parents and older siblings stayed around him to make sure he doesn't follow any unacceptable path.
Do you thinks its ok if a fiancee does it for her fiance? or vice versa?
In my opinion, only ur husband should get to see you, not even your husband-to-be.
True . But even exchanging pictures on phone is still not safe . We all know how easy it is to loose your phone . It literally take seconds to put that stuff online and viewable by millions of people .
I have found a better method that works with my teenaged brother.
I got his trust first, that he could share whatever it is in his life, with me, if he wants to. It is honest trust. Believe me, teenagers WANT to be able to get advice from people they respect, and obviously don't want to be judged for what they are doing. After I got his trust, I pushed him to be honest with himself. I pushed him to see what he wanted to do with his eyes open, even if it was something he isn't allowed to do. And then think about the consequences in terms of what family would say, and how it would affect him.
A lot of times, he has just done whatever he wanted to do without thinking about the consequences. But I helped him deal with it healthily. Once he is emotionally done dealing with the consequences, he looks at his actions, and I find him telling me all the things I told him in the past about why a certain thing is wrong. But this time around, he feels it and means it. He learns his lessons - because of the consequences he had to go through.
Good thing is, he hasn't gotten himself caught in really bad situations. I think that is because he is a sensible kid and because of how my parents and older siblings stayed around him to make sure he doesn't follow any unacceptable path.
Its a great way to control it . But still we are not all the same and not everyone has a nice sister like you . I think it is more about creating awareness among our kids and siblings , and they should know what is wrong and they shouldn't indulge into .
thats true. Or even email accounts can be hacked. Apparently, that's how aish and abhi's wedding pics were released on the net? Some relative of amitabh bachan sent the wedding pics to someone through email and someone got hold of them.
Do you thinks its ok if a fiancee does it for her fiance? or vice versa?
In my opinion, only ur husband should get to see you, not even your husband-to-be.
IMO Islamically speaking, fiance' would still be a non-mehram and when for non-mehrams, even the 2nd peek with the sexual intention is haraam, then 'sexting' does fall into the category of zina too and is totally wrong!
Socially too, I believe, one should not do this! Alot of times even engagements get broken and usually one of the party gets their ego badly hurt. Imagine anyone could misuse any of the intimate conversations, pictures and videos and exploit the other party involved!!
as for teenagers, I believe parents should keep a check on their children. Spying on them, checking their cell phones is NOT wrong, if it saves their kids from all sorts of evils such as sexting.
I once read a report about a British kid, whose family had to move away because her ex bf exploited her nude pictures all over their highschool as well as on youtube and myspace !!
THIS is a serious concern ! Parents need to be really cautious
have a talk with the young teens about texting and tell them to not do anything that is haraam, like someone said. "Haraam" is more powerful of a word than "wrong" or "bad."
the other option is to not have texting included in the plan. the parents can warn the kids that if the bill is over the normal amount, then the cell phone will be taken away or they'll be put on limited minutes. if the child texts, it will show up in the bill along with the phone number the text is going to. if the parent is suspicious, then call the number the text is being sent to and find out the gender of the other person.
I just dont see why parents are soooo free with technology these days. I dont get it.
When I was little, I had barely any computer time...we learned what we needed to at school and barely spent any time on the home computer. We didnt have our own personal laptops, ever. Now, everyone I know has one and their 4 year old kid. Whaaaa? Since when?
Same thing with cell phones...parents I guess think of safety and being able to stay in touch with their kids but didnt we make it out okay without being in touch with our parents 24/7? We got picked up, dropped off and in between our teachers were responsible for our safety...it worked well. Why the need to give a pre-teens and teens cell phones?