~~talking to your fiance~~

[PhatBalongri]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

Okay lets be honest here, how many people discuss righteous things? And is it neccessary? Most of the things can wait.

[andy936]

Re: talking to your fiance

@Evilmastermind

islamically there isnt even such thing as fionse

answer to ur question andy: Ofcourse have fun enjoy ..get to know each other ..be good love birds …

damn I had a dream I killed my two cats with BOP ok that was random :halo:

Thx for your suggestion

[andy936]

Re: talking to your fiance

@aahmed

Aashi, what you said above was VERY ignorant. You should NEVER just make things up about religion, it’s absolutely UNACCEPTABLE.

[2:235] You commit no sin by announcing your ENGAGEMENT to the women, or keeping it secret. GOD knows that you will think about them. Do not meet them secretly, unless you have something righteous to discuss. Do not consummate the marriage until their interim is fulfilled. You should know that GOD knows your innermost thoughts, and observe Him. You should know that GOD is Forgiver, Clement.

The above verse indicates that you CAN talk to your fiancee, you can even meet them in secret if you have something righteous to discuss. Righteous can be anything about your future together, discussing home matters, children, education. In the future please refrain from making statements about religion without knowledge.

[3:94] Those who fabricate false prohibitions after this, and attribute them to GOD, are truly wicked.

[amana]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

There are things that should definitely be discussed before marriage, and it is clearly NOT haraam.

I would really like to see the stigma against broken engagements lessened. It's much better to break an engagement than to get a divorce later because of incompatibility.

[andy936]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

very well said amna

[mahanoor]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

are u sure peopel who can talk to our finanace ?
coz i read some where tht u can talk to him only if ur maram is with u liek ur bro or ur dad

[andy936]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

@mahanoor

lol u a good man u want to talk to ur hone wali biwi and here my hone walay husband he didnt talk to me a single time he calls my home and he says salam and asks who r u and i say my name and he said can i talk to ur ammii or abbu i said they not home and he said ok tell them i called and he said allah hafiz he was alone there and i was alone home here and we both knew tht but both of us didnt attempt to talk even we know we getting married soon

Hey Mahanoor exactly i have been through the same situation as you :D

[Raatkirani]

Re: talking to your fiance

@aahmed

Aashi, what you said above was VERY ignorant. You should NEVER just make things up about religion, it’s absolutely UNACCEPTABLE.

[2:235] You commit no sin by announcing your ENGAGEMENT to the women, or keeping it secret. GOD knows that you will think about them. Do not meet them secretly, unless you have something righteous to discuss. Do not consummate the marriage until their interim is fulfilled. You should know that GOD knows your innermost thoughts, and observe Him. You should know that GOD is Forgiver, Clement.

The above verse indicates that you CAN talk to your fiancee, you can even meet them in secret if you have something righteous to discuss. Righteous can be anything about your future together, discussing home matters, children, education. In the future please refrain from making statements about religion without knowledge.

[3:94] Those who fabricate false prohibitions after this, and attribute them to GOD, are truly wicked.

Ahmed, what you just said about Ashi applies to you as well. Very interesting how you twisted the translation of the Quran there in Verse 2:235.

The three most accepted translations are as follows:
002.235YUSUFALI: There is no blame on you if ye make an offer of betrothal or hold it in your hearts. Allah knows that ye cherish them in your hearts: But do not make a secret contract with them except in terms Honourable, nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled. And know that Allah Knoweth what is in your hearts, and take heed of Him; and know that Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing.
PICKTHAL: There is no sin for you in that which ye proclaim or hide in your minds concerning your troth with women. Allah knoweth that ye will remember them. But plight not your troth with women except by uttering a recognised form of words. And do not consummate the marriage until (the term) prescribed is run. Know that Allah knoweth what is in your minds, so beware of Him; and know that Allah is Forgiving, Clement.
SHAKIR: And there is no blame on you respecting that which you speak indirectly in the asking of (such) women in marriage or keep (the proposal) concealed within your minds; Allah knows that you win mention them, but do not give them a promise in secret unless you speak in a lawful manner, and do not confirm the marriage tie until the writing is fulfilled, and know that Allah knows what is in your minds, therefore beware of Him, and know that Allah is Forgiving, Forbearing.

And one more in plain English (by M. Asad):

2:235 But you will incur no sin if you give a hint of [an intended] marriage-offer to [any of] these women, or if you conceive such an intention without making it obvious: [for] God knows that you intend to ask them in marriage.Asad(2,223) [223]](IslamiCity - The Global Muslim eCommunitytruetruetruetrue&-op=qrange&CV=2:235&-sortor#) Do not, however, plight your troth with them in secret, but speak only in a decent manner; and do not proceed with tying the marriage-knot ere the ordained [term of waiting] has come to its end. And know that God knows what is in your minds, and therefore remain conscious of Him; and know, too, that God is much-forgiving, forbearing.

The verse before it (2:234) will give you proper context:

*002.234 *
YUSUFALI: If any of you die and leave widows behind, they shall wait concerning themselves four months and ten days: When they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame on you if they dispose of themselves in a just and reasonable manner. And Allah is well acquainted with what ye do.
PICKTHAL: Such of you as die and leave behind them wives, they (the wives) shall wait, keeping themselves apart, four months and ten days. And when they reach the term (prescribed for them) then there is no sin for you in aught that they may do with themselves in decency. Allah is informed of what ye do.
SHAKIR: And (as for) those of you who die and leave wives behind, they should keep themselves in waiting for four months and ten days; then when they have fully attained their term, there is no blame on you for what they do for themselves in a lawful manner; and Allah is aware of what you do.

And one more in plain English by M. Asad:
2:234 And if any of you die and leave wives behind, they shall undergo, without remarrying,Asad(2,221) [221]](IslamiCity - The Global Muslim eCommunitytruetruetruetrue&-op=qrange&CV=2:234&-sortor#) a waiting-period of four months and ten days; whereupon, when they have reached the end of their waiting-term, there shall be no sinAsad(2,222) [222]](IslamiCity - The Global Muslim eCommunitytruetruetruetrue&-op=qrange&CV=2:234&-sortor#) in whatever they may do with their persons in a lawful manner. And God is aware of all that you do.

It never said in the Quran that you can meet your fiancee secretly, regardless of what is being discussed. The verse you quoted referred to people making proposals to widows, not having secret marriages with them, and waiting for their iddat to be over before marrying them. It is a well known fact that there is really no concept of engagement in Islam. Meaning that your fiancee is still your non-mahram and that you can’t talk to him or see him privately unless you have a mahram with you as a chaperone.

Your statement that it’s okay to meet in secret is a bunch of cr@p. If you have to discuss things like children, education, home, etc., you have to do that with a third party present. There is to be no privacy between a woman and a non-mahram man. We all break the rules, especially when it comes to talking to our fiances on the phone or going out with them. At least own up to it and don’t misinterpret the Quran for your convenience.

[mahanoor]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

heheh raat i read tht too some where tht the third person have to be in order to talk to the person u are marrying
it is soo weird tht people make stuff out from no where

[andy936]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

@mahanoor

are u sure peopel who can talk to our finanace ? coz i read some where tht u can talk to him only if ur maram is with u liek ur bro or ur dad

I don't know Mahanoor that's why i started this thread so i could gather some good infos

[hussain87]

Re: talking to your fiance

@Raatkirani

It never said in the Quran that you can meet your fiancee secretly, regardless of what is being discussed. The verse you quoted referred to people making proposals to widows, not having secret marriages with them, and waiting for their iddat to be over before marrying them. It is a well known fact that there is really no concept of engagement in Islam. Meaning that your fiancee is still your non-mahram and that you can’t talk to him or see him privately unless you have a mahram with you as a chaperone.

Your statement that it’s okay to meet in secret is a bunch of cr@p. If you have to discuss things like children, education, home, etc., you have to do that with a third party present. There is to be no privacy between a woman and a non-mahram man. We all break the rules, especially when it comes to talking to our fiances on the phone or going out with them. At least own up to it and don’t misinterpret the Quran for your convenience.

[andy936]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

yeah it is very weird

[Sara516]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

If parents know about it and have no objections to it is it a secret or any more wrong?

[mahanoor]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

@Sara516

If parents know about it and have no objections to it is it a secret or any more wrong?

sara u have to talk in front of ur mahram when u gonna talk to ur hone walay husband

[andy936]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

@Sara516

If parents know about it and have no objections to it is it a secret or any more wrong?

then it's not a secret.... & i think it's good if they knows :)

[Sara516]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

Of course my parents know, they know i'm engaged to him, why shouldn't i talk to him? But i don't talk to him right in front of them, in fact, taht's just me I don't liek to talk too much with ANYONE girls too, in front of other adults, fone or in person.

[Naughty_by_Nature]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

Sara its haram...you have to have the third person present...having your parents apporval doesnt change the rules whatsoever...
If your not comofrtable with it then thats tough isnt it...rules are rules..follow them if you like and dont if you dont want to...
But remember if you ask if its Ok from Islam dont choose the answers which suit you...choose the answers which are correct...

[Sara516]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

I didnt say it was right. Anyway please don't lecture me on what's right or wrong in Islam as you've openly stated that you do not follow any of it. Talk is cheap :)

[Naughty_by_Nature]

Re: ~~talking to your fiance~~

Firstly its not a lecture...its an answer to your question...you asked whether it was ok...so i said it isnt...and you said that mehram didnt suit you...it doesnt suit anyone so what YOU want isnt what defines right and wrong thats my point...

[Sara516]

Re: talking to your fiance

Just gonna end it before you start a new thread based on something I said wink: