A friend of mine is not entirely happy in her marriage of 6 years. She recently bumped into her ex (they went out for 4 years) in college and started casually talking to him.
Her husband doesn’t mind because he doesn’t know the history. He just assumes it’s one of her college friends.
I feel like she is betraying her husband. She doesn’t agree and says why can’t they be friends. theyhae long conversation and sometimes talk about the past.
BTW Her ex is not married.
Whose right?
Re: Talking to your Ex
As a rule of thumb. Girls are always right.
What ever they do , they have a reason.
And to my surprise they will have a whole girl support group too, which would support her unless she is after one of their own husbands.
Re: Talking to your Ex
Hmmm. If she's unhappy in her marriage, she may be seeking some sort of emotional relationship with her ex. Unknowingly, she can end up in a mess. Ask her how she would handle it if her husband was "friends" with his ex. It's always better to be safe than sorry... especially if your life isn't where you want it to be.
Re: Talking to your Ex
^ it could turn ugly...do they talk all the time???
c the problem is maybe u friends things its just "friendly" talk but the guys might be on a different chapter. or maybe its the other way ard.
u r right. she shouldn't be talking to him.
Re: Talking to your Ex
islam mein 4 jaiz hain...
aik certified stupid husband
3 uss ko jalanay ke liey ex/current bfs.
Re: Talking to your Ex
^^ yeap to the point .. not u saein ji .. but Niksik Baji
also u cud give a lil talk to ur frend .. as to how she wana lead her life .. if she really isnt happy with her marraige .. she gotta let her husband know ..and then tell her to relax for a while ..and check your husband if he really does give a nickle ..to their marraige and if its worth saving .. and if she gets the impression ..then as muslim .. she gotta ask for separtion ..
but ..saying k they only frends yet bring the past into convos .. that aint gonna help ..cos he ll automatically will support her ..if he does get to know that their marraige is on the verge .or unstable .. and this aint good .. so before she does anything drastic .. like Niksik Baji said unknowingly it can end up in a mess ..
gud luck :)
Re: Talking to your Ex
I spell it out for you little ladies:
IT IS CHEATING IF YOU ARE LOOKING ON ANOTHER MAN FOR ROMANTIC CONNECTION.
OR FOR EMOTIONAL COMFORT.
don;t she have girls she could talk too???
What a monkey like behaviour reaching for the next branch while hanging to first one.
Re: Talking to your Ex
She definitely would say that if her hubby was doing that... so I guess the same rules apply here.
Re: Talking to your Ex
Yea, no this is no good.
^^ yeap to the point .. not u saein ji .. but Niksik Baji
also u cud give a lil talk to ur frend .. as to how she wana lead her life .. if she really isnt happy with her marraige .. she gotta let her husband know ..and then tell her to relax for a while ..and check your husband if he really does give a nickle ..to their marraige and if its worth saving .. and if she gets the impression ..then as muslim .. she gotta ask for separtion ..
but ..saying k they only frends yet bring the past into convos .. that aint gonna help ..cos he ll automatically will support her ..if he does get to know that their marraige is on the verge .or unstable .. and this aint good .. so before she does anything drastic .. like Niksik Baji said unknowingly it can end up in a mess ..
gud luck :)
ki na F.B.I walon jaise baat.
Re: Talking to your Ex
Its messed up. Consciously or not, she's gonna look to him to be her shoulder to cry on, in her eyes he'll be that "hero" and instead of working on her marriage, she'll end up seeing dreams with this guy, let her marriage self-destruct, and then be thankful that the path to him is all clear now. Not a good idea for her to have any contact with this dude, even as friends.
Its messed up. Consciously or not, she's gonna look to him to be her shoulder to cry on, in her eyes he'll be that "hero" and instead of working on her marriage, she'll end up seeing dreams with this guy, let her marriage self-destruct, and then be thankful that the path to him is all clear now. Not a good idea for her to have any contact with this dude, even as friends.
ditto !!
Re: Talking to your Ex
I think she needs to tell her husband everything and discuss the situation with him. I think she is putting herself before her relationship with her husband.
A friend of mine is not entirely happy in her marriage of 6 years. She recently bumped into her ex (they went out for 4 years) in college and started casually talking to him.
Her husband doesn't mind because he doesn't know the history. He just assumes it's one of her college friends.
I feel like she is betraying her husband. She doesn't agree and says why can't they be friends. theyhae long conversation and sometimes talk about the past.
BTW Her ex is not married.
Whose right?
no one is right. There shouldnt be any Ex'es religiously talking
everyone is wrong here :)
Re: Talking to your Ex
Does she have kids? She should focus on them and ignore her ex :) the hubby and the girl need to do alot more together...
Re: Talking to your Ex
Oh oh, she's playing with fire and she can get burned. What she just considers a friendship can potentially develop into something stronger and become a full-fledged extra-marital affair......even more so because the two shared a past together.
People say, "Your ex is an ex for a reason." Njgal, your friend is an adult and as an adult, she's gonna do what she wants to do. And if she feels COMPLETELY CERTAIN and CONFIDENT that reconnecting with her EX is NOT going to develop into anything more than a friendship from her END.........then there is little you can do but remind her that such a relationship can develop into something romantic, it's like opening up a can of worms. Ask your friend how she would feel if her husband was to see HIS EX behind her back?
Does she have kids? She should focus on them and ignore her ex :) the hubby and the girl need to do alot more together...
No blushing vision - they don't have kids. Both are lawyers and lead very (according to me) individual lives.
She doesn't meet with her ex. They just talk on the phone and that is where she justifies her behavior.
She says "why can't I be friends with a guy"?. "I have co workers that male. Cousins etc.
But he's not an just an friend. He's her ex. They have looog complicated history and that's what makes it dangerous in my opinion.
Re: Talking to your Ex
Its wrong to speak to your ex, especially when you're married.
Thats just asking for trouble.
Re: Talking to your Ex
What I don't understand is why she can't share this new development with her husband. There is nothing inherently wrong with talking to your ex. But there is definitely something wrong with keeping secrets from your spouse.
If she can tell her husband that this man is her ex and if her husband has no problem with it, then who are you (or anyone else for that matter) to judge? But until she reveals this info to her hubs she is being deceptive and dishonest...
What I don't understand is why she can't share this new development with her husband. There is nothing inherently wrong with talking to your ex. But there is definitely something wrong with keeping secrets from your spouse.
If she can tell her husband that this man is her ex and if her husband has no problem with it, then who are you (or anyone else for that matter) to judge? But until she reveals this info to her hubs she is being deceptive and dishonest...
^ If your friend does not have any guilt in her heart....then she wouldn't be afraid of sharing it with her husband. The fact that she's doing it on the SLY, indicates somewhat of a guilty conscience/intentions on her part.......and that can lead to other things. Maybe she feels she needs to hide it because her hubby is sooo possessive and would not understand if he knew that he was an Ex. But how would she feel if he was doing the same behind her back? It's understandable that she works with male employees and has male coworkers.....BUT she didn't have a "complicated past" with those employees and cousins did she?