Talking to your Ex

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Talking to your Ex

From what I understand, he knows they're friends.

He just doesnt know they're also exes of each other.

Thats not right at all.

22

If she feels that there is ABSOLUTELY NO hope in the marriage. If she believes that the marriage is** SO DYSFUNCTIONAL** that it's beyond repair.......then she should tell her husband that she want's out..........and then she can move out......and commit whatever affairs she so chooses....because her husband has been made aware that there is nothing between them anymore. He'd be more hurt to find she's creeping behind his back. She claims he's just a friend, but they shared a "complicated past" and they're both fondly "reminiscing about the past"....so i wouldn't be surprised if it leads to something more than a "rekindled friendship." Also, I wonder about this "ex." At least he (if not her) should have the common sense to stay away from her, as she's a married woman and another man's wife. I doubt that the EX **would like it if **HIS OWN WIFE was seeing a man BEHIND HIS BACK. But now I'm thinking that maybe the ex might have other motives. Maybe he feels "encouraged" by the fact that she's seeking him out for emotional support. And guys often times assume that a simple glance from a girl is "interest." And the ex might assume this communication to be "interest"......and thus act in a way to further develop this interest and create a horrible mess of things. Of course, you can't exempt the girl either because it takes two to tango.

23

Re: Talking to your Ex

Mera naheen khiaal kay husband ko bata denay kay baad bhi baat karni chahyay.

Jo mana hai so mana hai. Kar rahay hain to ghalat hai. Naheen karna chahyay.

24

Re: Talking to your Ex

^ I like.

25

Re: Talking to your Ex

do you think if they had kids things would change or get worse?

26

Ur friend is on a wrong path :chai:…A path that will only lead to ghums, dhoka etc, she will end up messing her married life and this can turn really ugly. Advice her not to meet her ex. This is wrong, there is a reason why it is all forbidden in our religion !

27

oooOooo. the girl is just diggin a huge BLACK hole for herself. in my opinion she needs to quit talking to her EX or her marriage can be in DEEP DEEP VERY DEEP trouble. she should let the past be the past and just let that be!

Timepass - November 2012
28

If she is staying faithful to her Husband and doesn't have feelings for her ex then its okay to talk normally to your ex. I know many people who talk normally with their ex's as sometimes it is better to be on good-talking terms than keep a grudge with someone. I am not talking about meeting up alone for lunch etc I mean a polite hello-bye thing. :)

She bumped into him and didn't go looking for him. She doesn't have to share her history with her husband if she doesn't want to as that could cause him hurt. I know this isn't fair on the spouse but not all spouses are strong enough to hear about their spouses past relationships and sometimes it is best to keep such things secret. Its best to look towards the future and enjoy it, instead of bringing up broken memories which you regret having.

But If she meets up with him secretly just for long talks - then that's something else. She seems upset which is why she is talking to her ex esp' about their past! Sadly, the devil is the 3rd person between them when they are alone...even when talking on phone. Help her to work on her marriage and be calm with her.

29

she's a lawyer so don't bother putting your case before her, just tell her whats wrong and whats right.

tell her that if she is going to be meeting this guy she should at least be honest with her husband about her past - if there really is nothing between them then she shouldn't be afraid of hiding this fact from her husband

but clearly she hasn't told him, so she is uncomfortable about letting him now. why is she then playing with fire when she knows that her husband would be hurt and upset should he find out the truth at the wrong time?

30

Re: Talking to your Ex

They don't meet - they just talk. But sometimes they talk for hours. She fills the void of what she is missing (communication) with this guy.

I still think it's wrong but again she questions me (like a lawyer) why it's wrong? When if it was a cousin or a coworker or a friends who is a girl and I would not have objections.

31

you should tell her to think abt it herself! shes old enough! being a married woman talking to an unmarried man who is her ex....talking for hours without her husband knowing the truth? it might hurt her husband but later its gonna hurt not only him but HER herself also his and her family too! do they have any kids?

32

Tell your LAWYER-LIKE friend that it's different when she talks to a COUSIN or a COWORKER......because she does NOT share any romantic past history with the cousin or the coworker.

So, she CAN'T compare her EX to a cousin/coworker. For somebody who argues like a LAWYER.....you'd think she's be BRIGHT enough to know it's not a fair comparison. Perhaps you should stump her with this response......and see how she reacts. If she rolls her eyes, starts huffing, annoyingly says nonsensical expressions like "Bah" or "Ugh" or "Whatev" or "Pshshsst"....or starts to stutter and say "Yeah, but, yeah , but"..............she can't find an excuse.

The more religious you appear to be..
33

Red is totally right here!

34

A married girl talking to any guy for hours is a recipe for disaster, let alone her x. A woman’s infidelity is almost always for emotional reasons. Looks like her love tank is empty, her husband needs to fill it up. Itna bharde ke chhalakne lage. Thats the only solution I can think of.

35

Tell her to ask her mom... if her mom says it's fine then it's fine.
If it was fine, why would that question even come up.
Finally, ask her if she would be OK if her husband talked to his ex for such long hours-- would that be OK?

Filling any kind of gap is morally wrong because there is a secrecy factor involved.

36

Re: Talking to your Ex

Talking to ex’s should be illegal. :chai:

37

^ haha.

38

Re: Talking to your Ex

ask her if shes ok with him talking to other women he had relations with for hours...!

39

I 100% agree with you. Most people here provide wrong advice. Most don't have any life experience but talk like philosophers (bunch of ------).

On a lil` lighter note, if she must see/talk to her ex, she should first find something equally bad in her husband so that when this blows up on her face, she can say, if I did this so what, you did even worst etc........LOL

40

In an ideal world there would not be such a situation - but there is.

They don't meet like I said - they talk on the phone

In Islam is talking to a non mehram wrong?