**With HIS family instead of your own family and friends…
pros and cons?
** In my opinion talking with his family :
Pro: in the most optimistic world, his family would talk to him in your favour Con: more likely, his family will tell him you speak against him and cause discord between you two in the long run
Talking to your own family/friends:
Pro: you can control the damage, it wont go to him if you tell them not to Pro: you can vent and get it out of your system and then be able to deal with it in a more practical, less emotional manner
Con: you may cause them to resent him Con: they really can’t do much?
Depending on the problem, its good to sometimes involve families but not always.
Most of the issues (and non issues) can be solved by talking to each other without bothering to go to family. No matter what we say, families are most of the time biased towards their own in serious issues.
Depends on the husband, the ILs and your own family.
We have all heard of incidents here on Life1 when the girl’s parents had too much interference in the couple’s lives and it ended up in a bad way. Also if you know your mom is the sort who would immediately get emotional and sentimental about you and start cursing your ILs then it’s best to keep stuff from her. My dad’s very possessive about me. I know the day I go even say a little thing like my husband scolded me, he’s going to get all worried, anxious and then mad at hubby too. My mom on the other hand MA is very level headed and most of the times my rant session is reciprocated by a long lecture from her side showing me the other side of the picture accompanied by a lecture and a few daants
So at times (very rarely) if I ever needed advice, I have turned to her for help. But most of the times, I don’t tell my parents our occasional, trivial issues at all.
Coming to the ILs, one can discuss with extreme caution only if the concern is common and is voiced by the MIL before the wife does so. But then again too much shikayaat can always put them off and they’d get annoyed eventually.
So the best option is to talk things out with the husband…but that too is a big no no when both parties are mad at each other.
Talking to your family, ofcourse it will create a bad image of him in their eyes. Even if the couple forgets the issues and gets back to normal happy life, as usual, the family doesnt forget and forgive and the impression mutilates.
So the best choice is GS. Come here, start a thread or blog, we hear, we advise, we may even make fun or talk non seriously, but at the end of the day, its no profit no loss
yeah what is the deal with dragging families in? they no want nothing but gossapp. if you are marrying a guy, at least make sure you can talk to him, k demesne pal?
We are presuming that for some reason we are not talking to the husband about it just yet.
When would u go to
a) friends
b) ur own family
c) his family
and
d) what if ur family and his family is the same family? First cousins?
friends are the safest option. But one should be careful with them too. Unless they know your husband really well I wouldn't advise to tell them all the negative stuff in such an elaborate manner that they start judging him and make assumptions about him. :)
I think true friends would also be wise where you are concerned
regardless of whether they are otherwise very dense
friends are the safest option. But one should be careful with them too. Unless they know your husband really well I wouldn't advise to tell them all the negative stuff in such an elaborate manner that they start judging him and make assumptions about him. :)
Hayee, queer, kattay pay namak chirak rahay ho, so what if I don’t have a husband, I have OPINIONS about everything!!! 