well, if its not the case , then why do people still do that? Just saying talaq three times and its all over. Why?
Divorce (Talaq) can be a solution when a couple doesn't want to live as a husband & wife. Both men & woman have the right to divorce each other. When the initiative is taken by a male it is mentioned mostly as Talaq and when such a decision is announced by a female it is mentioned as "Khula'a". In other words, man can "give" Talaq and a woman can take talaq. Physically, Talaq is an option equally open for husband and wife.
To reject the "talaq-talaq-talaq" fashion or custom, we must visualize the values and spirit of "Nikah". Nikah is regarded as "Aqad" in Arabic which means "agreement". This agreement is "signed" by a male and a female to live in the capacity of husband & wife. Islam resverve the right of divorce for each of the couple if due to reasons one of the two or both prefer a separation.
Nikah is a declaration, an announcement to the whole society that from so & so date, so & so male and female start living as husband & wife. To legalize this agreement, the presenese of at least 4 witnesses is a must. If a man and a women with full of their honesty and love decide to "live together" (as half of the western population do) that will not be regarded as a Nikah.
Obviously, when unfortunately, the family life reaches at the point of separation, the declaration must be made public. Yelling "talaq-talaq-talaq" 3 times or 300 times has no value at all.
As per the Quranic "procedure", the announcement must be made in presense of two group (logically, one from the female side and the other from man side). At this time the two groups (Fareeqain) are advised to make the two individuals to give a deep thought to his/her/their decision. If no patch up is speculated the meeting is postponed for a period of one month. In the second meeting, the two groups try again to change their minds if the decision is sustained the meeting will again be postponed unit next month. In the third & last meeting, if there is no positive development, the divorce is declared and both of the individuals get separation.
The idea behind this one month long gaps (related to female menstrual cycle) is to avoid any suspicion for a baby. For further confirmation, a woman is not allowed to re-marry for another 4 months after the divorce. The whole process is watched and legalized by the local authorities as the Nikah is registered as per the local laws.
Nikah, aqad or Fasaq al Aqad is a social matter. As two persons can not call themselves husband & wife without informing the society, similarly they can not get separated without informing the society. so just shouting Talaq-Talaq-Talaq has no legal value till it is properly processed.
I THINK THAT IN A NIKAH FORM A WOMAN COULD ALSO GET THE SAME RIGHT AS A MAN DOES. I MY NIKAH FORM IT IS STATED THAT IN CASE A SITUATION LIKE THIS ARISES , ELDERS OF BOTH FAMILIES HAVE THE RIGHT TO DISCUSS AND ACT ACCORDINGLY.
Thats a nice way to make sure marriage is durable.
Nice answer SAMAJHDAR!
By the way how did u come up with this name SAMAJHDAR?
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your bro,
Humble
I will ask for my Islamic rights while getting married
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:gupshup:
Gurya!!!
Women should be locked up in the house and not allowed to work or have a life… I heard somebody say that once..
Don’t agree with it myself though
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Pakigurya,
And, what might your 'Islamic Right' be?
More educated women are entering into a side contract to protect themselves from, guess what, the inadequacies of the Islamic marital laws which allows a man to divorce her wife on a whimsical, be not responsible after the 100 day idaat period, not required to pay her alimony and the kids belong with the man.
Strongest recommendation to muslim women thinking of getting married:
Enter into a contract on matters of alimony, child custody & support, and more than 1 wife Zamayla, etc.
Believe me - You 'll thank me!
Faceup… I dont know what you’re talking about. You obviously dont sound like a Muslim. Instead of making generalized remarks, you should understand EVERYTHING about the process of divorce in Islam, which gives both men and women equal rights. If you’re at all interested in being enlightened, take a look at this article on divorce: http://www.themodernreligion.com/women/w_comparison_full.htm#_Toc335566663
No one can really understand anything about Islam unless they study every thing about it…even if something sounds illogical or unfair at first, you have to dig deeper and there’s always an answer there.
During the Nikah, the woman can specify many things in their contract:
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They can specify that the man cannot marry another woman.
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They can ask for a house etc.
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They can ask for anything that they feel would give them more assurance.
Only if the guy agrees will the Nikah be legal - they can always negotiate I suppose
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That is the beauty of Islam - If you look carefully then Islam gives men their rights and gives women their rights too..
It’s today’s society full of ignorant people who mix culture with Islam and try to pass it off as Islam - who treat women like 2nd class citizens.
Divorce can be difficult, Islamic or not - Remember, it is the LAST resort.
Cool
Re: Nikah Contract:
The idea of agreements in a nikah contract or a side contract is to guarantee oneself certain covenants which are not covered under the present Islamic laws, discussed below.
hk,
Thank you for calling me a "non muslim" and an idiot - like I care;
you say:
"you should understand EVERYTHING about the process of divorce in Islam, which gives both men and women equal rights"
OK - you tell me:
1) Since, you say "Islamic laws" has given man & woman "EQUAL" rights under Divorce - pls explain the process under how:
a woman may divorce her husband;
a man may divorce her husband.
2) Under "Islamic laws" - is a man required to pay her wife alimony? Or, even support her financially after the 100 days ida'at period?
Under present 'Islamic laws' - after the 100 days the divorced wife can be turned out into the street!
3) In a dovorce, under 'Islamic laws' - who is allowed the custody of the children? Can a mother, under 'Islamic laws' gain custody of the children?
The shia’s have a document for taalak. Which makes it easy for the women as well as the man. unless both of thier signatures are on it, no Taalak. But if one persists you can go to court or a shia muslim scholar and he will decide for whose favor it should be!!
Simple right?
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thanks brother humble for bringing this topic out.
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we should discuss religion it will make us strong from the inside.
Jazakallah and thanks spawn.
Also, I'd like to mention something here:
**
"The whole purpose of bringing this topic up was to have some intellectual discussion. I never meant to create any hatred among our brothers. Therefore, talk but come up with valid questions that make sense. Otherwise, we all be like Nanga, Baykhatr, and Degas. I know that Cool Dude, Shakir, Faceup,Girl from Quresh, Uzee, and others, you guys are quite knowledgable and understanding, therefore, take it easy."
**
sincerely, your bro,
Humble.
I forgot to mention a few more important names for people who are really giving good input. They are:
Alshah
Hk
Sophia Mujahid
**
Thanks all. I wish Nanga, Degas, and Baykhatr could learn something outta these good people. May Allah guide them.
By the way I have noticed something very similar in "Degas, Nanga, and Baykhatr's posts." Are they really three people or just one? I wonder if others are observing the same too?
**
your bro,
Humble
your bro,
Humble
[This message has been edited by Humble (edited September 19, 2000).]
Humble....>>Thanks all. I wish Nanga, Degas, and Baykhatr could learn something outta these good people. May Allah guide them.
By the way I have noticed something very similar in "Degas, Nanga, and Baykhatr's posts." Are they really three people or just one? I wonder if others are observing the same too?."
Thankyou for your prayer.
For your information, I have no relationship with Degas, Nanga. I am what my screen name says. It would be helpful to know if you update me what similarities you have observed in my posts with those you mention.
Unlike you, I have no advice for you. But I am here to verify any thing you post on these boards. I am not one of those who follow Mullah's Islam just by waving my head and taking deep breaths. Allah has blessed me with brain and I like verifying things and then accepting them. So please be careful in what you post.
I saw my name in there a few times so i thought i should say something,
[quote]
Originally posted by Humble:
There is a big flaw here.
[/quote]
Maybe so, but its important to remember that Islam is not responsible for that flaw, those imperfections/deviations result from giving precedence to practices--cultural practices, that result from the culture prevalent in that area....cultural practices that exist outside Islam.
[quote]
"So whats the solution?"
[/quote]
Okay first and foremost, u must look at what Allah swt has said to us in the Qu'ran, secondly we have the sunnah of the Prophet, sallallaho alaihe wasallam in the form of hadiths, and then after that we have our own conscience, the sense Allah swt has blessed us with to reason with.
Hello Mr, HuMbLe.
I have gon through all the discussion in you so called FoRuM, and i will say only that we believe so BlInDlY about the "theory of relativity" by Einstein, but you are having PrObLeM with understanding the sentences about divorce clearly commanded by the craeture of the entire universe (where only BLACK HOLES can help you to reach to the other end of it) I beleive that it should be relatively easy for you to understand it rather than the theories of the modern scientists.
Best regards.
Enjoy the 3rd weather of the year.
[This message has been edited by Mamoon (edited September 20, 2000).]
Thanks sister girl from Quresh.
Mr. Baykahtr or whatever,
I am not replying to any of your comments because they are not worth it!
My mamoon,
Why are you bringing theory of relativity here. I asked a simple question and need an answer. Thats all!
Humble.
face up, notice I did not use the words “non-muslim” or “idiot” in my reply…please dont put words in my mouth.
Since no one obviously bothered to look at the link I posted, I’ll paste the specific paragraph:
- In case the husband initiates divorce, he is obliged by religious law to pay some maintenance expenses (2:241). This prescribed alimony belongs to the wife by right. However, when the woman initiates the divorce she does not pay any compensation to the husband as requirement of religious law; she need at most return part of what she received from the husband as dower if such payment is helpful in an amicable settlement. (2:229)
Here’s the link in case some of u want to take the trouble of finding out more. http://www.themodernreligion.com/family/family_marriagelegal.html
---- SNIP, SNIP --
DOUBLED UP!
[This message has been edited by faceup (edited September 20, 2000).]