How does the younger general think of divorces amoungst pakistani couples.
Please be honest…
being honest I do not like this system of divorce.
that you just said three words and your life long relationship is over.
But thats the way it is, we can't change or argue it because this is the islamic way.
What happens when we're dead? The irony is that all our questions will be answered after we die. We spend our whole life trying to figure out the truth and the only way we'll find out what it is, is to get hit by a bus. And the only comfort that religion offers is that God is driving that bus.
All racists who are prepared to die for their contry, please do that now.
These 3 words might be bad and I wouldn't prefer to use them either coz this is the most disliked word by Allah. On the other hand, if life can't be happier between the couples then this is there to make life easier for people.
What curcumstances if you any doyou guys think validate divorce?
sure it does.
it is clear in islamic books.
What happens when we're dead? The irony is that all our questions will be answered after we die. We spend our whole life trying to figure out the truth and the only way we'll find out what it is, is to get hit by a bus. And the only comfort that religion offers is that God is driving that bus.
All racists who are prepared to die for their contry, please do that now.
Ok I have a question abt this topc!
If a man tells his wife talaaq three times… are they like really divorced then?..
Cuz I never really understood this
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/confused.gif
What if the wife says this to the husband?
**Chilhood= When you make faces at mirror. Middle age= When mirror gets even!
**
[quote]
Originally posted by ~MuNiYa~:
**What curcumstances if you any doyou guys think validate divorce?
**
[/quote]
you don't need any reason for divorce. women has got the same right as men to divorce and she can simply say that I just don't want to live with this guy.
not fulfilling her desires is another reason for women to take divorce.
Saying that it is not a good thing to do and a lot of couple do regret it aftrwards so it should be thought over again and again.
Shinoo
Yes, wife can say that she doesn't want to live with the men and islamically ( I don't mean in our Pakistan) they should be separated. One thing which might sound a bit sexist but I won't try to be politically correct. Women tend to have instantaneous anger and they tend to forget things over time. In other words they are reactive while men keep their anger and build it over a period of time. Hence, only men uses the word talaaq while women needs separation "khulaa".
Also, this concept of three talaaq is not right according to my understanding. It is because one can only divorce his wife and since after the first talaaq the wife no longer remains his wife then he can't give the 2nd or 3rd talaaq.
maybe someone can correct me but this is the understanding that i have got according to what I have spoken to several people.
The concept of 'talaaq,talaaq,talaaq' is more a feature found in movies or dramas. I have rarely seen divorces happen this way in real life.
There are requirements to a divorce, and one with some basic knowledge of Islam would know that divorce is supposed to be given one at a time, in order to allow for possible reconciliation, should minds change. Besides, you also need 2 witnesses.
The 3 in a row talaq version is valid, unfortunately, but wrong. Its like driving your car at 100mph. You could do it, but its stupid.
[quote]
Originally posted by ~MuNiYa~:
How does the younger general think of divorces amoungst pakistani couples.
Please be honest...
[/quote]
They are more modernaized.......
They like to say "divorce divorce divorce"...
Maharani jee di JAY HO!
the saying talaaq 3 times is actually done over a minimum period of 3 months.
and there has to be an authority administrating the divorce process.
the filmi talaaq x3 are pretty misleading.
your right cheegum, but its also a hadith if a man is angry and says three times talaaq its not accepted bcos his mind was clouded by anger, and in islam its only accepted like you said over a period of 3 months bcos it gives the couple time to cool down and compromise
personally i dont like divorce, its breaks up families causes animosities and if their are kids in the middle
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/frown.gif
its too sad to comprehend but if its going to make life better for ppl and kids then they should go ahead with it
i think its miportant to compromise before throwning everything away, i find so many ppl are getting divorced nowadays
one more question, is the wife allowed the right of divorcing her husband if he declines it?
I’ve read articles on this subject and never found two matching answers. I’ve read ulma [yeah that Akhbar-e-jahaN type] saying that you’re divorced even if the husband is drunk, mad whatever, and that makes sense. Ability to control the anger etc are supposed to men’s plus point, at least that’s how I understood it, hence that is supposed to be one of the reasons for women not being able to say talaaq, unless specified on nikah-namah [The columns you never read before signing it] else there is the option of Khula which involves courts and is more formal.
It’s also said that if you’re pregnant you can’t be divorced which is rejected by other ulmas, and that makes sense. Some say you don’t even need witnesses
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/redface.gif
That doesn’t make sense. It is also claimed (I think I read in one of Mihan-ul-Quran books) that ‘she’ doesn’t have to be there, it’s enough that ‘he’ said the words while there were witnesses. It’s also said that you can’t just say talaaq, talaaq, talaaq in one go, there has to be some thinking time, I see the logic but find it difficult to believe.
There are other wicked stuff about divorces, and even more about Shari Halala.
What circumstances if you any do you guys think validate divorce? <<
Depends. Personally I would advocate a divorce if, either of them is not interested in spending their lives together and it’s not a love marriage. Reservation for love-marriage is that they might need an extra push to ‘work on the relationship’. In arrange marriages if divorce is being discussed, they probably already have gone through a lot, or at least calculated costs of a divorce.
[quote]
Originally posted by secret_obsession:
**being honest I do not like this system of divorce.
that you just said three words and your life long relationship is over.
But thats the way it is, we can't change or argue it because this is the islamic way.
**
[/quote]
to tell you the truth, it is not the is lamic way. i have studied a little literrature on it. however i should that unfortuantely it has been done in our society like that.
talaak is a very sensitive issue, and that is why there is a whole chapter in the holy Quran about it. just as Nikaah needs two witnesses, talaak needs witnesses too. afterall, it is the breakage of the agreement.
secondly, three talaaks can not be given in one time. if i get the articles on it , i will surely post it here. but i know that the way we do it, is wrong
[quote]
Originally posted by jaanaan:
** to tell you the truth, it is not the is lamic way. i have studied a little literrature on it. however i should that unfortuantely it has been done in our society like that.
talaak is a very sensitive issue, and that is why there is a whole chapter in the holy Quran about it. just as Nikaah needs two witnesses, talaak needs witnesses too. afterall, it is the breakage of the agreement.
secondly, three talaaks can not be given in one time. if i get the articles on it , i will surely post it here. but i know that the way we do it, is wrong**
[/quote]
thanks, and it wuld be very nice if you post the article because i have read in stories and have seen in movies that you just say three words and everyting is over.
the chapter in quran about talak , i read its translationa long time ago. dont remember much.
What happens when we're dead? The irony is that all our questions will be answered after we die. We spend our whole life trying to figure out the truth and the only way we'll find out what it is, is to get hit by a bus. And the only comfort that religion offers is that God is driving that bus.
All racists who are prepared to die for their contry, please do that now.
~Muniya~,
I am a bit confused. After reading some replies which are more specific to the term "Talaak, Talaak, Talaak" and male role in it according to Islamic teachings but that wasn't your initial question, was it? I believe its a totally different discussion from "Divorce in Desi families"
Anyway, I believe divorce is a taboo in our culture and usually made synonymous to 'izzat' or honor. Which is wrong! There is nothing wrong with going your own ways if the two people decide they cannot live together anymore. Nothing dishonorable about it - especially for women. In other words it much better to avoid going through the mental anguish & emotional self torture that at times involves children as well.
But at the same time I don't consider divorce as a luxury, instead its an institution that serves as an important safety valve. In other words, I will try to the best of my abilities to 'work things out' with my wife but I reserve the right to call it quits when I think its beyond help! And I will give the exact same rights to my wife!
[This message has been edited by ahmadjee (edited May 10, 2002).]
[quote]
Originally posted by Akif:
*There are requirements to a divorce, and one with some basic knowledge of Islam would know that divorce is supposed to be given one at a time, in order to allow for possible reconciliation, should minds change. Besides, you also need 2 witnesses.
*
[/quote]
If I remember correctly, the working "Talak, Talak, Talak" = 'Divorce for life' was enforced by Hazrat Umer (ra) because of the over misuse of this liberty becoming a norm. According to the traditions of the Holy prophet (saw) its the separation of the couple 'three times' that matters.
For example, a man can say Talak a 100 times in an hour but that will be considered Talak for only once! The parties are to separate & try to work things out! If they do they can get back together again otherwise can have the actual paper work done! And this can go on for three times!
Anyway, as I said it a totally different & complicated discussion.
Lots of different opinions are around the place.
see for eg.
http://www.hindustantimes.com/nonfram/010700/detOPI01.htm
an internet search putting in the words “triple divorce” will turn up interesting information.
[This message has been edited by Shirin (edited May 10, 2002).]
an interesting topic..
if u analyse the life cycle of birds...
which we categorise as civilized creatures..
birds when are together stay with each other, for entire life time.. caring , being aqffectionate, and have their responsibilties divided...
I wonder why we cannot live like those birds.. together for life time, with our mate..
Hapiness is not in finding the perfect mate for u, hapiness is how two ppl, cooperate, care for each other, and yes those who cannot do that , have to suffer from the consequences..
in a nutshell, Divorce is the worst decesion, a person can take.. there are other ways to solve the problem, but that requries undetstanging, patience and cooperation...
that is all..
.::. ﷲ ﻼﺃ ﷲﺃ ﻶ .::.
Allah-o-Akbar
,_ ,
(O,O)
()
-"--"--- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target
Awesome replies all... but maybe I should have clarified my Question...
I mean how tolerate is society to divorce now vs. 20 years ago?
have no idea
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/frown.gif
i dont live in pakistan…
but here where i live, divorce is becoming a common thing and ppl just seem to get over it and carry on with their lives…
family values r diminishing…