It is essentially a gora tradition. I don’t want to know how many of you have done it, but I would like to know how those who didn’t agree to it, talked with their husbands about it. Or I know in Pakistan, for whatever wierd reason, the wife gets the husbands first name as a last name. WOuld it be possible to go the hyphenated way?
Re: Taking husband's last name
I'm not married, but I prefer to keep my maiden name as my last name throughout my life. My last name represents my roots...where I came from. Not to keen about the hyphen idea.
Re: Taking husband's last name
You don't have to change your last name. I didn't for the longest time until my first kid was about to be born just so that we all could have the same last name :D It's not required in Islam. But it doesn't matter either way.
I'm not married, but I prefer to keep my maiden name as my last name. My last name represents my roots...where I came from. Not to keen about the hyphen idea.
Exactly. I want to remember where I come from even when I'm not there, but I don't know how to work it into a convo with him. I don't want him to be offended or anything either since nearly every woman in Pakistan does it. THen again, we have established that I'm not normal so.....
You don't have to change your last name. I didn't for the longest time until my first kid was about to be born just so that we all could have the same last name :D It's not required in Islam. But it doesn't matter either way.
Did you just say it point blank, "I'm keeping my name!" or did you put it in the nikah nama, or did you talk to him, or something?
Re: Taking husband's last name
It wasn't even discussed, like at all...
Exactly. I want to remember where I come from even when I'm not there, but I don't know how to work it into a convo with him. I don't want him to be offended or anything either since nearly every woman in Pakistan does it. THen again, we have established that I'm not normal so.....
So, if it has been mutually established that you are not one to follow the norm....then don't stress over it.
Are you even going to be living in Pak? Shouldn't make a difference either way. You can discuss the matter with your guy.....if he has no problem with it.....then keep your maiden name. Don't make things complicated and ugly looking with a hyphen. I know some women who put a hyphen after their maiden name...followed by their husband's family name. And people end up calling them Mrs (husband's last name). Keep it simple. Not taking on his first name or family name will not make you a bad wife. It's not even something that's encouraged in Islam. I know many Arab women keep their maiden name. And I've heard that on Judgement Day, you're called by your father's name.
Re: Taking husband’s last name
I didn’t change my name and it was one of the most wisest thing I did after marriage 
I have heard that we will be called by our mother’s name …my knowledge on this subject is weak 
blinks Obviously you and TLK make a great couple and we should bow down to your couples’ superiority. Teach us (and by us I meant idiots who don’t have common sense us) your wayss!!!
Seriously though, teach us!
It’s father’s name. I was just reading about it…which brings me to making this thread.
It's father's name. I was just reading about it.....which brings me to making this thread.
My last name is actually my dad's first name...and not his family name.
Ria, just keep your maiden name. If your SO has no issues about it, then that makes it even easier. It's unreasonable (IMO) for anyone else to have problems with it.
One of my desi friends kept her maiden name....her husband had no issues with it. The husband's dad, however, was hinting to the both of them that she "should" change her last name. But...he supported his wife...it remained as is. They're MashaAllah happily married with 2 kids.
Re: Taking husband's last name
You always make sense RV!
I guess I'll just talk to him about it logically. Seems to work most of the times!
But I'm curious about the whole first name as a last name thing. Where did that come from?
I guess I'll just talk to him about it logically. Seems to work most of the times!
But I'm curious about the whole first name as a last name thing. Where did that come from?
You know what's funny? My dad's "family name" used to be my last name. It was like that for years. And then when we moved to the US.....my dad decided to make his "first name" as our last name. In the US.....it's the "family name" that's used as the last name (which is how we previously had it).
Anyhow, I asked my mom about it years ago, and she said that in Pak...the view is that the having the father's first name as a last name.....makes a direct connection between the offspring and the father. So, I guess my dad decided to uphold the tradition.
Anyhow, I asked my mom about it years ago, and she said that in Pak...the view is that the having the father's first name as a last name.....makes a direct connection between the offspring and the father. So, I guess my dad decided to uphold the tradition.
Awww that's so cute!!!! But in Islam, is it the last name that get's called or the first name?
Re: Taking husband's last name
Yes it is a gora tradition. I didn't take my husband's last name. I grew up with my last name and am used to it - it's part of my identity...why would I want to change that just because I am married?
It wasn't even an issue between my husband and I.
I can't beleive lots of guys still have a problem with their wives wanting to keep their maiden name....taking a husband's last name has NO basis in Islam...so men need to get off their ego trip...
Re: Taking husband's last name
hmm that gets me thinking. Why don't kids get the mothers' first name just as they get their father's name?
sorry if this is off topic
My mother did not take my fathers name.
My dad wanted to keep it simple....he didn't want to go through all the red tape when changing names.
And I have both my mothers family name and my fathers family name as my family name.
I won't ask my wife (if i do get married one day) to change her last name. I would want her to keep it and inshallah I will give my children both my family name and my wife's family name. :D
my father-in-law brought up this subject when some aunty questioned if i was going to change my name after marriage or not. my FIL asked me not to change my name after marriage and to keep the name my father honored me with. he said the same to his daughters and DIL's.
i thought this was so nice of him, mashallah.
** But in Islam, is it the last name that get's called or the first name?**
I looked on the Internet, Ria. And it only says "father's name" but does not specify if you'll be called by your name and your father's first name...last name...full name.
If someone could shed some light on this this...that would be great.
I'm guessing it would be the full name. If it was by family name....then there are so many families with the same name. Then again there are so many people with the same first and last name....from one generation to the next. I don't know how a distinction will be made on the Day of Judgment.