Re: Taking crap
SIL should not be in the picture. Whats with the 30 minute warning :-D beware of this character..you haven't seen the last of her.
There is no harm in your boy talking to your folks directly...it's not an arranged affair...so why bring in traditions etc. Where are his parents anyway? Why aren't they talking to your family.
If the guy is not taking much of an innitiative to make things happen then take a hint.