Aaze
May 16, 2015, 8:30am
43
Re: Swearing at in-laws
So basically my husband and I got into an argument a week ago because of his mother. And we have been having argument on and off since the past whole month. my in-laws fight a lot with each other almost every other day which I believe was affecting my relationship with my husband, having so much negativity in the house. And I shared my feelings my husband but he took it wrong. I feel that every time my in-laws fight, my mother-in-law diverts her complete attention to my husband and over the past 6 years of marriage I have never seen my husband blaming my mother-in-law for the arguments she has with husband, in fact, he always finds faults in his father. I have tried explaining him that fil is not the one at fault every time but in return my husband burst at me saying that I’m am always against his mother. I started feeling really insecure about my husband and our relationship due to our constant arguments regarding his mother’s interference in our personal life. So last week on Mother’s Day I took my mil to the salon and her haircut, colour, and facial done from my personal money and my husband was unaware of it until we got home. I thought it would be nice if we both spend some good time together plus she deserves it because we do have a good relationship **but the moment she starts spending way too much time with my husband due to her arguments with her husband and loneliness , that’s where I start getting annoyed and jealous. And I have always shared my feeling with my husband to avoid conflicts. Anyway, I was expecting my husband to get a gift for me on behalf of our kids but he did not and when I asked him he replied saying he is not suppose to buy a Mother’s day gift for his wife. I asked him if you could buy a valentine’s gift for you mother then why can’t you buy a mother’s day gift for your wife. I don’t think I was wrong for expecting a gift here, my daughter is four obviously she can’t go buy something for herself so my husband should have bought something for her to give me but made an issue out of it. throughout our argument he swore at my about 6-7 times calling me a bit and I was shocked because he had NEVER swore at me before. I was so mad and in return i accidentally told him that your parents fight like dogs too. At that very moment, he left the room saying I have no value in his life. And he went directly to my in-laws and told them that I called them dogs.
It was completely unintentional, I have never sweated at my husband either but all that he said to me I couldn’t control my anger. A few hour later I asked my husband that I need to apologize to his parents so he went to his father and he said he does not want to see my face anymore or " wo mere pair ki jooti hai". So after 2 days I asked my husband again to ask his father if I can say sorry now because I felt really bad but my husband said he is really mad at you, and you need to give time to everyone. Since that day , my in-laws do not speak with me other than Salam. And my husband and I only talk regarding our kids n their school related things. He said he will not have any physical relationship with me until **I start respecting his parents, **that’s just stupid . I really do not know what to do if they are not even ready to take my apology . I still can’t forgive my husband for behaving that way, he has mad my life so complicated. He knew i said it by mistake, I wish he had never told them. I just hope time flies or I go back in time and erase those words.
So please give me some advice on how to deal with this situation.
Why do you get “annoyed and jealous” if she spends time with her son?
You should never expect someone to buy you a gift, a 4 year old can’t buy you a gift, but they surely can make you one
That’s really rude of your husband and totally uncalled for and the same applies to you. He swore at you, so you tried to even out by swearing at his parents. And then he rats you out. Just stupidity.
This is exactly the reason why you should never make your tongue so comfortable with swearing that you’ve no control over it.
Both of you need a class or two about respect and husband-wife relationship.
.. Again, why do you compare yourself with your MIL i.e. valentine gift?