Surviving on low income

[Mirch]

Re: Surviving on low income

@mt3g

I was also used to not thinking twice before spending but now I barely ever spend at all. I am trying so hard to make him tell him family that they need to understand the situation he’s going through. We never have money for cng or calling cards for phone or even eating out once in a while because he gives all his salary in his mom’s hands, and instead of using it wisely she spends it on food for her daughters and their kids. Then too, she is always asking for money and in return my husband would borrow from his friends to give her more money. Growing up I have always seen my parents give. I have also always been a giver but now I feel so guilty every time he asks for money. He is upset too and we have had arguments in the past but I am tired of fighting. He refuses to talk to his mother or sisters. I cannot talk to them because if I do they will run to him and complain and it will just create problems between us. We tried sitting down and budgeting a few months ago but so far it has not helped. If anything, the things have gotten worst. I don’t know what we can do to minimize expenses without hurting his relatives’ feelings … It is such an embarassing situation for me that I cannot even discuss it with my family. I don’t know how others survive on low income because experiencing it first hand I feel that only in storybooks is it possible to live happily ever after without money …

Maan key mohabbat aur izzat apni jagah , magar agar maan ghar key izzar neelam karnay per tulee hui hay toh someone has to take matters into his hands. First of all he has to come out from mama’s boy syndrome. He has to make sure he gives some allowance to his mother for her personal expenses and then make a strict budget and follow it through , there is no other way out of it.
Paisay bachanay say bachtay hain , kamanay say nahi. If you give 50 thousand or one lakh to this mother she will spend it all the way she feels. It gives her power and control over the family.
Someone has to take "agal kay nakhoon " in this family.
Allah nay uss qoom key halat kabhi nahi badlee na ho jiss ko khyail khood apni halat k badal nay ka.

As for dealing with SIL’s coming over for good food and not contributing then what else can be done other than cooking daal chapati and daal chawal for them and make sure that daal is watery. What else can you do other than your husband taking control of the situation and expenses.

She will be mad/angry for few days for losing control but so be it. He and you have to be brave about it if you want to change the situation.

Friends will loan you money for a while then one day they will make noise at your door steps to return their money and then ghar key izzat barbad ho gee.

I have seen that happening to many folks who were meeting their expenses with loans from others.

People have to learn to live within their mean then Allah gives them barakat.