Just because a woman takes on her husband’s last/family name does NOT guarantee that she would be a good wife or daughter-in-law. And there are many women who took their husband’s name and get treated like crap by their husband/in-laws. I wouldn’t make “surname change” an indicator or a measurement of a woman’s devotion to her husband or her character or how good of a wife/DIL she is.
“Why do we make such small issues matter of our ego?” This statement can be looked at from more than one angle. For example, if you’re indirectly reprimanding or scolding those women who chose to or want to keep their last name…then a similar question can be posed to YOU…as in “Why are YOU making a big deal out of such a small issue as a woman wanting to keep her maiden name since it won’t affect your life anyway?”
I’ve heard that it’s recommended to keep your maiden name in Islam…but I’ve also heard that there is nothing wrong if you change it as well. If religion allows freedom…then demanding a woman to change her maiden name…can ALSO bee seen as an ego issue.
I don’t plan to change my name after marriage. And it’s not an ego issue for me. My last name is my father’s name. It represents my roots…my family…and that’s important to me. This does not mean that my own family (kids, etc) wouldn’t mean anything to me. And for someone to pressure me to change my last name…when I have every right to keep it as it has sentimental value to me…why is that “pressure” not seen as an ego issue?
I believe in the “Live and let live”…I don’t judge other women for choosing to keep their maiden names…and I also don’t care if they change it. It doesn’t affect my life. It won’t affect my marriage. And it doesn’t tell me anything about how good of a wife/DIL/Mother they are. And it’s certainly no guarantee that the in-laws will treat you right.