Silsila's thread got me thinking on something-
Since we got married (about a year ago) my husband has been wanting me to change my last name to what his last name is. I ofcourse will not do it.
Firstly, when my mom got married, she kept her name. And us kids took on my dad's last name (which is the family's last name).
So when we got married I said firstly, I don't believe in changing my last name. Secondly, there's no way in hell I'm gonna go thru the hassle of changing my name legally. It would be very weird cuz it would feel like a completely different identity and also because my degrees/awards would have one name on it and now I'd have a different name.
So he agreed that changing it legally would be a hassle and then the stubborn kid in him comes out and says 'well why dont u change it on facebook.'
If there are any guys out there reading this, answer me this, Was he serious?!?!? He then goes on to ask me to just be recognized in our circles with his last name. And again I told him, I'm not changing my name for anyone and the only way someone can address me with ur last name is when they are sending out wedding invites and they dont know any better, then they can write 'Mr. & Mrs. XYZ.'
So basically the issue comes down to this, I will NEVER change my name from what it is now. He on the other hand feels offended that I will not take on his last name. He also says that once we have a family, he wants everyone to have the same last name because he doesnt want our kids asking 'why mommy doesnt have the same last name? and is she really our mommy?' (I think now he's just trying to come up with excuses and dumb arguments to try to get me to change my name). He brings up this discussion every now and then when something prompts him and it aggravates me. He also thinks I'm not taking on his last name because I don't like it and basically feels offended that I won't take it on specially since allll the women in his family take their husband's first name as their last name!
Has anyone been in this situation? if so, what did u say to ur husband to stop him from asking u to change it?!
p.s. if you are about to try to convince me that women should change their name after marriage then please shoot urself instead of posting a comment here. thanks!
I wanted my wife to take my name as her last name and she was sweet enough to accept it. I thought that was super cool of her. I don't care if we have to change a 100 documents, I'd still go for a name change. I think its pretty romantic.
Legally, almost every form these days has a field for previous surname, and the guys handling files are not dumbos, ofcourse they'll know that your degrees have a different surname. Religiously, you are NOT hiding your identity by changing your surname, lots of documents still exist which prove whose daughter you are including the birth certificate.