Supporting inlaws financially

[Theorist]

Re: Supporting inlaws financially

@nnabid

In an ideal world I would love to be comfortable enough with my in-laws to be in ehl-e-chamman’s situation. But I don’t have nice in-laws, so I’m not.

The way I see it is quite simple: in our desi culture, if the bahu is expected to do khidmat and take care of her in-laws if they’re living with her/when they visit; then similarly I would expect the damaad to care for his in-laws financially in the same way he does for his own parents. It’s a two-way street. Theoretically. Unfortunately in reality I know of little cases where this actually happens. The bahu ends up caring for both sets of parents, while the damaad only has one set of parents in his eyes; the other are his ‘auntie and uncle’ he has to occasionally visit out of formality. That’s the double standards I hate in our culture

This is what I mean when I say it can cause resentment. A wife who has no brothers and sees her parents working their whole lives yet she supports her retired in-laws completely and it is considered to be her duty. She is not able to support her own parents because all her salary goes into supporting her household, which also includes her inlaws. Her own parents never require financial help because they don’t want to burden their daughters and die the last moment working! Huge cause for resentment.