Hi guys and gals!
This thread is meant to help us all out. What I want is for any and all of you to post abt the difficulties life brings your way when you are married.
What trials did you face?
What became easier with time?
How did you find the strength to move on?
Be open and be honest…this is not so all of us can bare our souls in public (feel free to talk abt your friends too). Its to help someone who may be stuck in a similar situation and wants to know they’re not alone…
Some guy or girl may read your story and decide to suck it up and stick it out!
I’ll start by posting something I wrote in another thread abt my bestest (I DO realize thats not a word) friend:
She got married at 18 to the man of her dreams. We were all 18 at the time and she was the first one to get married. She moved to Canada and was on Cloud 9 until she got there with her hubby after the wedding. It turns out, these ppl were not even half as well off as they had made themselves out to be. She lived in a leaky basement for the first year of her marriage and saw a side of her husband I thought I would never forgive. Im SUPER protective of the ppl I love: my family and my best friends. I would call her and only heard crying on the other end. He had a horrible relationship with his parents and took it out on her all the time. He never gaver her any money, didnt let her go to school, limited her phone calls to home so we had to call her and he even raised his hand to her. He broke her fingers once…Ill never forget that…I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest when I heard that. My friends are like my sisters.
Im not saying she should have toughed it out because at that time, any sane woman would have walked out of a relationship. But she stuck it out and you know what she did? She got him out of Canada and away from all of the misery that was creeping into her life. She found him a job close to her family in the US and they moved here to start with, then went to NY where she put him through school at Cornell. She worked and paid the bills while he went to school full time. There were times when I sent her phone cards to call me with because I didnt want to inconvenience her husband and I wanted to make sure she was okay and had a way to reach out. She did everything: tutored kids, did make up on desi brides, worked at Sephora, malls, etc. Anywhere she could find a job, she worked.
The man has done a complete 180 on her now, he has CHANGED. He came back to CHicago after graduation and found a job in the Loop in investment banking, makes amazing money, is putting HER through school now, spoils her like crazy, treats her like a princess, just took her on a vacation to Cancun, etc. Basically, their tough times are behind them Alhumdulillah. They just bought a house and are family planning now.
As some ppl are saying on this thread, sometimes a bond is born out of struggles like these. A marriage on paper is easy to have but a bond is difficult to create. Maybe this is your struggle? Maybe this is your test as a couple?
My sis has a baby and she didnt see any wonderful times right away. She stuck by her husband and ALL of his financial difficulties for three years with a baby before her life became as peachy as it is now, Mashallah. If you see her now, you wouldnt believe she didnt walk into a perfect life. But she worked with him and Allah swt rewarded both of them with a beautiful life, Mashallah.
Hope to see some really amazing stories here…
what a sweet story, it made me get tears in my eyes, well done to ur friend for sticking by him and changing him. Truely amazing. now adays all u hear about is divorce rates going up and it’s sooo scary, i guess you dont truely know the person until u live with them…