stupid old me!

Lifestyle Relationships
101

Re: stupid old me!

By the way mostly men don't like hearing a wife complaining about his mother or sister, no matter how wrong they are... you have to learn to handle this issue with your husband in a diplomatic way that he gets it and is not offended. Same with in-laws, be diplomatic with them. Like everyone is saying, complaining 24/7 doesn't help, it just makes things worst.

102

Re: stupid old me!

meri mum kehti hai,pakistan mein 90% aisa hi hai.wahan intna bara issue nei hai .

meri nani k gher 60 gherwale hein.5mamoo jan,5momani aor phir onn k bache .likin sab bohat maze se rehte hein

103

Re: stupid old me!

Nadzz- You are right this is rude! How should you have tackled the situation? Be the nicey nicey person. If she wanted milk shake you shouldve said, let me make it for all of us instead of waitign for your sil. Again - mentioning my own bhabi. If my father or mother want something, what ever in the world she is doing, literally what ever she rushes to get that thing. If she would be sitting there with us, she would voluntarily suggest she make this-that-the other dish or drink. The initiatives you took are so sweet, really. But i guess a lot more is needed since your mil & sil both dont seem to be willing for anything.

Seriously? Fine she has a lot many posts complaining about things but what is the problem? She has moved to a country she never wanted to, she doesnt have family or friends here and is having a hard time adjusting with in-laws, why should you make fun of her?

104

Re: stupid old me!

Its just been 4 months of her marriage and she has been this way from the very first week. One thing id suggest is, no matter how bad the times get and no matter how hard the situation seems never ever be rude to your mil. If you respect her then only you will get your due respect from every one as well.

As for not having a nice family, umm we have a lot many people trying to play their negative role too but none of us have ever permitted any one to speak about our bhabis. What ever happens remains between us. Never has any one of us ever complained about any of my bhabis to any one outside the family. They know we love them and we get more love in return. Honestly, situations are much much more complex in many houses. You're alhamdullilah lucky that your husband is so supportive. A majority of girls are seriously lonely because there is no one at all they can turn to. If you show them your bad side its just going to strengthen your mils dislike for you and the family. You have to prove her wrong - take positive initiatives is all i think you should do.

105

Re: stupid old me!

i wasnt complainging bout the milkshake man, it was more to do with him. why he doesnt spend time with me, why he doesnt have that natural concern for me, i feel like he has to make an effort to care. he may disagree, however i feel this way. i feel like he has to make a mental note to ok today spend time with wife rather than wantttt to spend time with wife....do u all understand.

anyway we both ignoring ech other today. we went out last nite as a family to eat, he lkpet asking everyone if they were ok for drinks etc, he didnt ask me once. so obvious.

i get it, hes a good otherwise husband. but his faults for me are hindering everything, i feel like i care, love, him more than he does to me. i feel like he cares more for them, and all his gussa is reserved for me. whys that.

106

Re: stupid old me!

the reason for the 4 posts- my blackberry wasnt working, kept telling me my message sending failed.obviously it didnt......grrr

107

Re: stupid old me!

Nadz, I wish I could give you a magic potion to make him better but the truth is...you have to be just as chalak as your inlaws are with you.

Simple.

108

Re: stupid old me!

well- i am trying with them.

secondly my husbands spoke to mer, apparently my lovely father in law said to him that i can see shes not happy and its ur job to keep her happy, etc, mustve bought on a guilt trip as he was tripping over himself to please me yday, and tried to explain that i sometimes do his head in and thats why he wanted to just go slp that night....anyways i understand now. i think i cry too much. im thinking of not spending too much time in his face all ther time now, i think hes complacent that im always there for him with him, so i think il back off and see if it works....

109

Re: stupid old me!

Good. Show him you appreciate his efforts, otherwise he'll get bored and stop again.

110

Re: stupid old me!

Nadz I feel like you're living my life lol! I had these feelings when I got married and had to live in pakistan with my husband's family for a month. The fact that we were newly married made me want more attention from him and he kept spending time with everyone in his family that I started to resent his family at one point. I think he even noticed this and we had a mini argument over it. Then I decided to become closer with his sisters since he used to spend so much of his time with them. After a while they began to prefer my company over my husband's :D lol and I stopped feeling left out whenever they had conversations together. I mean I still felt annoyed at times that I didn't get so much of alone time with him and I was annoyed that everyone was constantly around, but eventually it stopped bothering me as much as it did initially. So find something to do, talk to your sister in law more, take out some of "me " time for yourself and you'll think about this less and eventually the feeling will die out a little.

You are free to pm me because trust me I have went through the same thing and will probably go through it again if I visit my in laws again with him haha!

111

Re: stupid old me!

one thing is sure, your husband is unlucky guy, trapped / stuck with you

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Re: stupid old me!

because if you miss the 1st one then you can read the 2nd one and if you miss the 2nd one also then you can read the 3rd one.etc

she just want to make sure no one miss it..lol