Re: stupid old me!
Hey Nadz! Let me tell you the other side of the story. I have a very friendly & strong bond with my brother too. We have many things in common and have lots of fun and cute bro-sis times when we are together. I too had the insecurity that what if my bhabi to be comes out different and doesnt really let me spend time with him or maybe would alter my relation with her. But no! what she did, and i salute her for this, was she made me her best friend. She did everything possible to let things as they were. She would go shopping with me, ask me for an opinion on every single cloth she would wear, what jewellery to go with which dress, before going for the honeymoon she and i both sat down and decided her clothes for each of the 10 days, we selected wedding photographs together, we bopught gifts for my brother together, we cooked together, I even cleaned her room with her, if my brother was out of city i would sleep with her and we would talk all night, we sms each other every single day. She made sure I was given the priority. If ever i wanted something, she made sure my brother got it. E.g. i wanted to change my mobile and i just said it once but she kept pinging my brother for it till he got it for me. When he and i were together, we would have our cute bro-sis talks & cuddles and just sweet stuff. She never made faces, instead she became part of them. She started participating in those jokes, laughing on them etc. She takes pictures with us, kisses, cuddles all that like she would do to any of her own siblings. Masha Allah
The key was - she participated in every single thing of the house! she gave my parents time, she made them tea, food what ever, she talked to them, she discussed clothes or other family stuff with my mother. In no time, she took our love! Now we cant imagine the house without her. I dont know when my someone-i-merely-knew became my bhabi then my friend and now my sister. Masha Allah! Masha Allah! My famiyl is great to her but i’d give more credit to her for working hard on her relationships. Never has there been a day she complained. She took control over everything by showing interest. This is just an example you can learn from.
I think you have to work hard on your relation with your nand and your parents-in-law. From what i am seeing fromyour threads is that you arent really doing anything extra that would make you part of the gang. Suggest things like - aunty chalain aj hum donone shopping chalte hain, aunty aj nameyourbaby did this cute thing, with your nund talk about her interests.. if its make up tell her good brands, good stuff, show her your clothes etc. This way you willa ctually have more people to talk to and enjoy with. You wouldnt be complaining all the time, plus you wouldnt even make your husband go crazy. Try and take initiatives and dont hesitate too much. Your marriage has already been for quite a while that they would judge you much for what you are doing so just go ahead do stuff - Cook! talk! Discuss! shop! watch movies! do everything with your in-laws.
Such posts reveal that there is still hope and not all DILs and in-laws are villians as majority of the posters in GS mentions them to be. It requires hardwork from both the sides and the hard work can pay off.