I’ve started to notice that there are quite a few girls 'round here (thankfully still a minority) who are so stuck up and so into themselves…they look down on any woman who is less educated or married early or stays at home wtih their children, or quit her job. they roast anybody who has an opinion that differs from there. Every single one of these women who has this attitude is a self-professed “educated, career, modern” woman. I mean…isn’t that an insult to real educated/career women, the majority of whom aren’t like that? Why are htey so miserable and stuck up? 
I have to deal with such women in real life,
and urgh, they dont know how jahil they sound.
Re: Stuck up girls
They're not stuck up. They expect women to excel in the world, and to really contribute to society. Yeah, you can spend the rest of your days at home with babies, but that's the easy way out. It takes a lot of guts to balance home with a career, and especially girls who have received specialized education in various fields should use that education - otherwise, they wasted a seat in school, wasted their own time, and wasted everyone else's time.
We need women in the work force. It is a NEED. If some women don't want to work, that's up to them, but it sure is nice to see women being more active these days and getting more involved in things. And I don't think they're stuck up. They accomplish a lot and sometimes it is easy to forget that not everyone has that kind of stamina.
First you say “quite a few” and then you say “every single one of these women”??? You can’t stereotype all educated and working women. Can’t lump them all in one category.
Sometimes (not saying that this is you) when we assume that another person is stuck up or looking down upon us, it’s actually a reflection of our own insecurities. We think that the other person is perceiving us in a certain way because we ourselves feel insecure.
If one is 100% satisfied with their level of education and current situation in life, then why should you let it bother you what someone else thinks? If a person is going to let it get under their skin, then perhaps he or she is not fully content about themselves.
What is considered “less educated” varies from person to person. One person might think a Bachelors Degree is more than enough. For another person, a Masters Degree is insufficient. Yes, an emphasis on education is placed because it plays a role in getting a stable job and it also plays a role in providing some sort of financial security when hard times crop up. In the kind of economy that we have now, perhaps a woman who was a housewife for a long time might find that she needs to work to support her family. Some people, like myself, feel that it’s better to finish your education before marriage because it’s hard to complete school while also managing a marriage. I don’t have this attitude because I look down on those who marry before finishing school. I feel this way because I’ve seen how hard it it for my friends who married way before graduating and I know that the demands of education are tough enough by themselves without complicating it further with other things.
Being a full-time mom is hard work. Being there for your kids is so essential to their development. The issue here ( in my opinion) is not necessarily of one group of women looking down on the other, but a lack of balance and stereotyping.
You can be a highly educated career woman, but unless you got servants, you still have to know how to run a house and raise children. You can be educated, but what good is your education if you’re not using it in a positive way? There has to be balance.
Stereotyping it the other culprit here. There ARE women who are not that educated and are housewives and they look down on other women who are not married and have 3.5 kids by a certain age. They might scoff at the idea of a woman getting a higher degree, thinking that what’s the point of wasting the money when such an education is not needed in knowing how to roll out rotis. They might snort at the idea of “pursuing other interests” because they think that managing a home and a hubby and in-laws and children should be “interest” enough.
Both groups can look down on each other. Every situation in life (being single or married, having kids or no kids, being a career woman or a housewife) has its PROS AND CONS that are hard to compare to one another. No situation is perfect. Reflect over the benefits of each situation, be grateful for what you have, strive to do your best, and realize that everyone is an individual and believes in different things.
They're not stuck up. They expect women to excel in the world, and to really contribute to society. Yeah, you can spend the rest of your days at home with babies, but that's the easy way out. It takes a lot of guts to balance home with a career, and especially girls who have received specialized education in various fields should use that education - otherwise, they wasted a seat in school, wasted their own time, and wasted everyone else's time.
We need women in the work force. It is a NEED. If some women don't want to work, that's up to them, but it sure is nice to see women being more active these days and getting more involved in things. And I don't think they're stuck up. They accomplish a lot and sometimes it is easy to forget that not everyone has that kind of stamina.
they are looser's !
'
They're not stuck up. They expect women to excel in the world, and to really contribute to society. Yeah, you can spend the rest of your days at home with babies, but that's the easy way out. It takes a lot of guts to balance home with a career, and especially girls who have received specialized education in various fields should use that education - otherwise, they wasted a seat in school, wasted their own time, and wasted everyone else's time.
We need women in the work force. It is a NEED. If some women don't want to work, that's up to them, but it sure is nice to see women being more active these days and getting more involved in things. And I don't think they're stuck up. They accomplish a lot and sometimes it is easy to forget that not everyone has that kind of stamina.
PCG I see where you're coming from, but let me give you a perspective of a full time mom, no, it isn't easy to give up a rewarding career and a professional income to take care of children. It is quite hard and for a woman who was working all her life to suddenly become completely financially dependent on her husband is a bit challenging for a while until you realize that really, it takes a lot of effort to raise children well.
I'm not saying that working women don't raise kids well, not at all, but if a woman chooses to be home for the kids it doesn't mean she's watching dramas and taking hot bubble baths all day. Trust me, I think I spend less time on myself than many working women do and I'm not saying that as a martyr but because I have committed several activities for my children that require a great deal of effort on my end as well as my availablity.
I don't want to get into the battle of what's better for your child because everyone does what is in best interest for their families but to assume that only working women have stamina...ummmm, check out how packed our day is. :D
They're not stuck up. They expect women to excel in the world, and to really contribute to society. Yeah, you can spend the rest of your days at home with babies, but that's the easy way out. It takes a lot of guts to balance home with a career, and especially girls who have received specialized education in various fields should use that education - otherwise, they wasted a seat in school, wasted their own time, and wasted everyone else's time.
We need women in the work force. It is a NEED. If some women don't want to work, that's up to them, but it sure is nice to see women being more active these days and getting more involved in things. And I don't think they're stuck up. They accomplish a lot and sometimes it is easy to forget that not everyone has that kind of stamina.
Raising children is not the easy way out. You negate otherwise good points by being so dismissive (and disrespectful).
There are bad apples in every population. There are working women who look down upon women who "just" stay at home and look after the home and family. There are stay-at-home moms who are overly critical of women who are "ruining" their families by working.
Neither attitude is correct because neither job is easy. Looking after a family full time is not a walk in the park. And women who work are not out to "ruin" their families...more likely than not, most of the ones I've met are working because there won't be food on the table if they stay at home. So let's demonstrate some tolerance for both sides, eh?
I'm what most people would call a housewife after years spent obtaining a professional degree. I was laid off a while back and have been doing everything under the sun to find a job...with no success. I am NOT taking the easy way out...but circumstances are such that my "job" right now consists of making sure the house runs smoothly. And let me tell you, it's no small thing...I work HARD as do millions of housewives across the world.
Re: Stuck up girls
Those with holier than thou attitudes...will be so whether they're stay at home moms or not.
Re: Stuck up girls
Oh just ignore them and be friendly with the ones who are friendly.... thats what I try to do :) Life is so short, who cares about other people's attitudes.... as long as they don't mess with me I ignore them.
I'm one of the working women and some stay-at-home moms I've come across are soooo stuck-up while some are so down-to-earth and nice. My theory is that the stuck-up ones are just insecure and they show an attitude just to hide their insecurities.... so just be friends with people who are nice, baaqi ko dafaa karo :D
And yeah, once I was in a situation where all the ladies were SAHMs and God, all of them ganged up against working women (I was the only working woman there) and started saying stuff like "we care about our kids" and "we don't want to neglect our homes", "our kids need us" blah blah.... now that totally pissed me off, I mean come on, you are meeting someone for the first time and when she says she works full-time, you start a topic of SAHM vs. Working moms.... I never mingled with those females again, unn sai duur rehna hi behtar hai.
sigh..........you have noticed all of this but haven't yet realized that by making such a strong generalization your throwing yourself under the bus?
She isnt generalizing,
she is saying that every woman who has this attitude of looking down at other woman is a self-professed "educated, career, modern" woman.
She isnt saying that every educated woman is like that, only the ones with the stuck up attitude.
PCG I see where you're coming from, but let me give you a perspective of a full time mom, no, it isn't easy to give up a rewarding career and a professional income to take care of children. It is quite hard and for a woman who was working all her life to suddenly become completely financially dependent on her husband is a bit challenging for a while until you realize that really, it takes a lot of effort to raise children well.
I'm not saying that working women don't raise kids well, not at all, but if a woman chooses to be home for the kids it doesn't mean she's watching dramas and taking hot bubble baths all day. Trust me, I think I spend less time on myself than many working women do and I'm not saying that as a martyr but because I have committed several activities for my children that require a great deal of effort on my end as well as my availablity.
I don't want to get into the battle of what's better for your child because everyone does what is in best interest for their families but to assume that only working women have stamina...ummmm, check out how packed our day is. :D
You worked at some point in your life.
I give you brownie points for that.
Eventually, you might want to go back to doing some kind of work, or you might take up some hobbies or volunteer work. Either way, you're being a productive member of society.
Unlike the women who did NOTHING after 10th grade, dropped out, got married, had kids, and don't have any intelligence to pass onto their kids.
She isnt generalizing, she is saying that every woman who has this attitude of looking down at other woman is a self-professed "educated, career, modern" woman.
She isnt saying that every educated woman is like that, only the ones with the stuck up attitude.
my bad I apologize...I was leaving when I read this, didn't read it carefully enough
They're not stuck up. They expect women to excel in the world, and to really contribute to society. Yeah, you can spend the rest of your days at home with babies, but that's the easy way out. It takes a lot of guts to balance home with a career, and especially girls who have received specialized education in various fields should use that education - otherwise, they wasted a seat in school, wasted their own time, and wasted everyone else's time.
We need women in the work force. It is a NEED. If some women don't want to work, that's up to them, but it sure is nice to see women being more active these days and getting more involved in things. And I don't think they're stuck up. They accomplish a lot and sometimes it is easy to forget that not everyone has that kind of stamina.
Woman, you know I support you in most of what you say but the above is not true.
Ive yet to see a woman who has taken the easy way out by being a mother. I have seen two sisters give up their careers, jobs and be stay at home mother and it is FARRRRRRRRR from easy. I take care of my neice sometimes...that baby is dependant on her mother ALL the time. Raising a child isnt something you can switch off like leaving work at 5pm...it requires overtime with no pay or commission. The benefits are long term and not instant.
It is not easier being a stay at home mom...especially in the US.
Re: Stuck up girls
It doesn't require the brainpower that many jobs require. It doesn't require competition. You don't spend every minute of your day in anxiety over some exam grade. You're not having to pretend to be happy and excited to be at work when you're not. You don't need to dress up or wear make-up. That's only 1% of my daily headache. I'm not even going to divulge all the other crap I have to do.
Being a mom - you can actually be yourself. You can hang out with your kid and play. Sure, there is some work. You gotta fold clothes. Big whoop. You gotta cook. Big whoop. You gotta clean their butts when they poop. Big whoop.
I don't know. Maybe I'm the one who is jaded, but I've worked hard enough so far in my life that what moms do is pure child's play and I know I could handle it. There are things that appeared so complex before, and I'm not remotely scared of them anymore. Once you've been where I've been, there's no going back.
Re: Stuck up girls
I have to side with PCG.
I work and i am a stay at home mum for a few days (not for too long... going full-time), khair another story.
Being at home is a tough ask... yes, it exhausts me completely when im at home running after the brat, organising the house, the cooknig, doing activities to keep the brat going... but having a career and being a wife/mother at the same time is a huge task..
I lead both lives.. the housewife and careerwoman life... and to be honest, even though sometimes work seems to be the holiday... trying to manage both things IS exhausting.
There's no 4 hours worth of travel when ur a housewife.. dont have to deal with peak huor traffic... no dealing with waking up at 6am and getting the child ready.. nto having to come home and organise dinner, bathe the kid, put them to sleep.. and still manage to have a bit of a normal relationship with ur husband.. It's hard
housewives do do a lot as well.. i know a lot of mothers who have given up their careers and still have a very hectic life at home taking kids to tennis, swimming, kinder.. all sorts of things. BUT.... try balancing that with work. It's hard... but doable. I dont think i'd want it anyway.
We should though, just appreciate what the next person does. U never know how hard their life is, unless you've actually been in their shoes
It doesn't require the brainpower that many jobs require. It doesn't require competition. You don't spend every minute of your day in anxiety over some exam grade. You're not having to pretend to be happy and excited to be at work when you're not. You don't need to dress up or wear make-up. That's only 1% of my daily headache. I'm not even going to divulge all the other crap I have to do.
Being a mom - you can actually be yourself. You can hang out with your kid and play. Sure, there is some work. You gotta fold clothes. Big whoop. You gotta cook. Big whoop. You gotta clean their butts when they poop. Big whoop.
I don't know. Maybe I'm the one who is jaded, but I've worked hard enough so far in my life that what moms do is pure child's play and I know I could handle it. There are things that appeared so complex before, and I'm not remotely scared of them anymore. Once you've been where I've been, there's no going back.
It actually requires more. Physically, there is no stopping. I took care of my niece for a month in Chicago while her mother had to attend a training in Boston...I was unemployed and volunteered my time.
It was rewarding for me because Im her khala and love her to death BUT it was HARD. I woke up with her...she woke up at 7am. She needed her teeth brushed, hair combed, diaper changed, breakfast made, fed (kids dont eat on their own, you have to sit there and feed them), a bath, change her clothes, she watched TV for an hour but during that hour...I cant leave her alone. She needs to be supervised - she was only 2 at the time. She plays for an hour or so and then its time for her lunch. We made lunch, again feeding took an hour at least. My mom would sit down with her for Quran after that and try to teach her a bit. I would then get a chance to take a break and shower, pay attention to what my hair looked like, etc. After that, some more playtime and then off for dinner. The same cycle...make dinner and then chase her so she could actually eat it. I felt like my whole day revolved around her feeding and pooping schedule. And this is just someone who is taking care of her for a little while.
Her mother manages to squeeze in some actual reading, Quran, play dates, potty training, etc in her day as well. Her father called one day to ask if she had been reading or identifying her letters...I asked him when am I supposed to do that? LOL.
PCG, I dont have children but I respect mothers who stay home and take care of their kids A LOT. It takes a LOT of brain power to skillfully mold a child into a productive member of society. Feeding and changing poopy diapers doesnt implement life-skills or character. These require a lot more then simply completing a project and clocking out at 6pm.
Re: Stuck up girls
^ Reha, i do both things. And honestly, i think getting to work and gettnig out is a lot harder than being home.
Sure I lose a kilo or two when im at home and gain it back at work... but just the getting to work part, organising the whole family and day.. is teeedious :) But rewarding. Really really rewarding...
Ive done all the poopy wiping, toilet training.. still going through it... trying to mould my munchkin into a beautiful human being.... its a hard job.... BUT balancing two things is even a tougher task :)
Re: Stuck up girls
i think my dear frandship pcg means women who stay at home all day even when their kids are grown up enough to be in school. newborn to a few years of age, sure. kids need the attention and detail. but what about older kids' moms being unproductive at home all day long?