This is something I have been thinking about for a long time . Which type to women (wives) have a better life ? Those who are independent, capable to facing problems and handling issues on their own or those who need constant tender loving care.
I personally think the latter have a lot easier life then the independent ones . Case in point two co workers of mine : one is needy and soooooo clingy , calls her husband every hour literally and sometimes more often if there are " important " things to report like a headache, or feeling extra tired or she ran into an class mate or the older child was acting fussy.She was pregnant and has been blessed with a baby mashAllah but throughout her pregnancy her husband and her parents and sister ( parents in law live another city) catered to her needs and her sweet little cravings. She called her husband oafter every wave of nausea and complained to us about every little ache and pain. She got the attention, she got the extra care and pampering.
The other co worker , the exact opposite, she is independent , takes care of herself and manages lots of errands alone which the aforementioned would never even think of doing, gives the husband room and handles several little everyday problems without the husband even being aware of them. Now this girl/wife , even though she thinks her approach is right sometimes feels unappreciated and feels she is taken for granted, but she believes that by relieving her husband of daily hassles she is helping him concentrate on his work and his promotions will benefit them both eventually. She is expecting too but she still continues with the daily activities as before, dropping kids to school, grocery shopping, house chores etc.
I agree with her approach , but at the same time there are moments when we think that the other girl is doing the right thing maybe, looking at the easy life she leads …
What is your opinion. Which kinda wives fare better in the long run and
Moe importantly which couples fare better and lead more successful lives in general. Examples would be appreciated😊
Now this girl/wife , even though she thinks her approach is right sometimes feels unappreciated and feels she is taken for granted, but she believes that by relieving her husband of daily hassles she is helping him concentrate on his work and his promotions will benefit them both eventually. She is expecting too but she still continues with the daily activities as before, dropping kids to school, grocery shopping, house chores etc.
I see it as "normal" to feel that one is taken for granted sometimes. Most marriages aren't perfect & its normal for one person to get upset/sad/hurt etc. now and them. As long as wife #2 doesn't feel appreciated ALL THE TIME....I don't see it as a bad thing.
Looks like wife #2 is thinking with her brain. She is doing things to help her husband which will benefit them BOTH & their future children. On the other hand, what is wife #1 doing to ensure that life in the future for her husband & future kids is better? Seems like wife #1 is only focused on herself.
I don't have kids so this opinion is based purely on what I've seen/heard from others. As long as wife #2 isn't being worked to death and there is no medical reason for her to severely cut back on physical activities.....from what I hear from my OB friends/friends who have gone through pregnancy, staying physically active during pregnancy is actually beneficial & recommended.
What is your opinion. Which kinda wives fare better in the long run and more importantly which couples fare better and lead more successful lives in general.
I believe in being smart when it comes to living life & being prepared for the unexpected. Wife #1 in your case will have an easy life as long as nothing goes wrong, her husband/family allows her to be so dependent, and assuming her children as adults & their future spouses will put up with her little demands on a daily basis. I know of too many women who choose to lead a life like wife #1, and then things change, their life becomes miserable. I know women whose husband have gotten seriously ill or even had died...and the wives had no clue how to pick up the pieces & take control of their own life. I've met elderly widows who lives ended up being miserable b/c they didn't know how to be independent & their adult children/those children's spouses/own siblings etc. didn't pamper them they way the dead husband did. IMHO, choosing to put yourself in a situation where you're totally dependent on the kindness of others if something goes wrong is outright stupid.
Very few people lead perfect lives. Illness, death, financial distress etc......stressful events are part of most of our lives. In my opinion, women who put themselves a position where they can take care of their husband and/or kids if something goes wrong lead better lives in the long run.
Question for you Touche: Do you believe marriage is a partnership? If the answer is yes, then what do you think wife #1 contributes to her marriage? Can wife #1's husband depend on her for support if he has a bad day at work or is upset about something? What do wife #1 do in order to improve the quality of life not only for herself....but also for her husband & children? Can you give any examples of things wife #1 does purely for the benefit of her husband or children?
The wives who are independent and capable of facing problems..leads better life for sure. I have seen that happen. Where as, wife 2 who is clingy type..ya well it ain't cool.
You are only looking at this from the perspective of 'dependence'. There are other aspects of relationships.
Many men dont mind being married to wife#1. It enables them to feel relevant to and valued by a woman. They enjoy that feeling even though on surface they might complain about 'wife problems'. For men, there might be some desirable dynamics of a relationship in which the wife is dependent and clingy type.
It depends on husbands. Some husbands will take wives for granted no matter how much efforts she puts in all day while there are men who will keep catering to nakhray even if she doesn't lift her finger all day.
This split is truly in the middle ... neither wife type clingy or independent will fare better ... if either fail it is more to do with their relationship than it is about them. If a man needs an independent wife the relationship works with the independent woman ... if a man can't handle an independent wife or a clingy one the relationship will be rocky with both. If a man wants to feel useful then having a clingy wife may be good for the relationship.
Neither. Both are extreme cases. There is a big difference between being independent and being too formal. When you are married, you have to give that person importance and share your feelings and thoughts with them. The independent game leaves the other spouse feeling unwanted and takes away the closeness in a marriage. The clingy wife needs to stop acting like a child and learn to do things for herself. Eventually, the husband may get tired of catering her needs. Overall, my point is that one should be independent in taking care of themselves and not tryingt make others do their tasks. Also, one must realize that work is work, you can't call every hour. A good rule is to just let him call, that way he wilk call if hes free and wants ti talk. A lot of times husbands will get bored if clingy wives that are constantly chasing them, let them approach you too so you should be independent in doing tasks, taking care of urself, but not in feelings and sharing and letting that close bond form i have seen so many couples break apart because one could not give the ego and wanted ti be "independent, never get too attached to anyone, i only have myself in the end" bs. This is honestly so annoying and there's only a limit to how much the other person can try to bond.
Needy women are merely shushed with whatever it is they need in order to quiet down.
That's not a marriage...its babysitting and how I take care of my 2 year old nephew*.*
Agree..
Maybe men who are scared of their wives leaving or ever challenging them would be happier in the sorts of relationships where the partner is totally dependent on them..
