Strictness?

[Leopraecordia]

Re: Strictness?

@Deeba1234

Really??? So how come there’s a hadith that says something along the lines of ‘there is no better thing for two people in love than to marry’..

And what is all this ‘abandoning parents’ about?? I didn’t realise moving out for a while to preserve ur sanity was ‘abandoning’ them. Yes, in Islam parents do have rights, but those rights go both ways (have you not read about the rights of the child in Islam?) and if the parents oppress the child those rights can be forfeited, one obvious example being that a girl’s wali can be replaced if he is not doing a good job.

All this ‘love is bad/unIslamic’ cr*p is DESI (ie Hindu influenced.. 'we must be our parents lapdogs, treat them like gods, never question them or point out when they are wrong - even if we say it in a decent way) brainwashing. In religious terms there’s nothing wrong with love as long as u don’t cross the boundaries.. In Islam marriage also comes with responsibilities and if u can’t fulfil them (ie give ur partner enough time, attention, be able to run a household) obviously it’s better to wait till u can. I have literally lost count of the number of idiotic simple-minded desi parents who believe marriage must be the answer to practically any issue their child is going thu, whether it’s having non-Muslim gf/bfs, drink problems or drugs and it almost never works out.. Someone mentioned u need to marry for the right reasons, if a girl/guy is having problems with their parents surely it would be better to try and sort them out than just run away and prob ending up not being able to get over that resentment/bitterness for years (if ever)..

OP, does ur friend not have any female cousins she could go out in a group with or kids of her parents’ friends? (I know it’s not much but at least it might be a start).. Does she have an elder or auntie that her parents might listen to if they try and reason with them? Obviously not healthy being stuck at home all day, am sure a lot of us would go mad if we were in that situation Would ur friend have access to a desi counsellor she can go to (maybe thru school/college)?? I only say desi cos they might better understand that mentality of not wanting the girls to go out, threatening to marry them off if they step out of line etc..

Someone also mentioned it’s not bad to marry a guy from ‘back home’, obviously it can be true but regardless of that it should be **the girl’s choice if she wants to, **her parents don’t have the right to make that decision for her..

Let me suggest to you that you should calm yourself, as the tone of your wording clearly shows your emotions. There is no reason to get upset when we are debating about Islam. When people are in love, yes it’s sunnah to get them married quickly to save them from committing sinful acts with either each other or others.

I never completely ruled out that getting married for love is a bad thing. Either I wrote my thoughts out incorrectly or you’re taking it out of context. Either way what I was trying to say is that everyone is against the idea of marriage, but you don’t always have to marry only for love. The hadith doesn’t say you ONLY marry for love, it says that if you ARE in love, then you should. I would recommend for youto read the hadiths more carefully.

And I did say before in this thread that even children have rights and parents are never above Islam. Before writing, please educate yourself properly, sister.

And I’m no uncle. Astaghferullah I have probably sinned more in my life and have done more bad deeds than most people on this board but I am now repenting for all that I’ve done. The least I can do is to help my fellow Muslims stay away from making the mistakes that I did, and it is also my duty.