ok we getting married soon inshallah, as u guys know hes my cousin.
ok well hes a lovely guy as his dad
, they are both the same natured, and his dad is my mammu.
on the other hand his mum is from an outside family, and shes abit weird. while my mammu told her she can buy whatever she wanted for my gold jewellery she wanted to buy a cheap set, and was persuaded by my aunt to buy something more appropriate..she wanted a 5 tola set in the end they got 13...
ok then she had to make either chooriyan or karey ( sorry hope you understand) and when she must have realised the price of chooriyan being more expensive she opted for karey and those were only 2 tola each...
she also didnt bother showing anyone else what they got me from the walima yet she wants to be included in the barat shopping which my aunt is doing for us...
and its just little things as well, god knows i kp thinking she doesnt like me, however i get told by fiance she does like me...i dnt know what to think man.
these things dishearten me, im not greedy for gold, but it means something when ur MIL isnt being generous enough....
on top of that why do they think some one whose been educated from the uk with a masters will want to settle down in pakistan....
please tell me am i being over sensitive...or what?
my in laws to be are realy quiet people too, almost silent. they are quite by nature but still it feels like theres a lack of communications...im pretty sure we are getting married because he likes me more than she does....i could be wrong..
lift me up please :{
also it doesnt help that my mums sisters like talking about her because we dnt live there so they are doing our shopping for us and in duscussion with my mum tell her about the way my MIL is...etc maybe they exagerating but they are not rude people or deliberatly being rude about my MiL but who knows, these talks they have with my own mum are making mum and me just abit more stressed for no reason and now im finding i dnt really like my MIL
Nadz,
Your MIL is your relative. And there are SOOO many girls whose MIL's are not related to them in any way prior to marriage..........and their MIL's are still MONSTERS. Also, keep in mind that there are also girls whose MIL's are blood related......for example their MIL might be a khala or a phoopo.......and even then they can be pretty nasty.
And it's not only desi people. It's also non-desi people who have issues with their in-laws. You know where I got the term monster-in-law from??? I got it from my tenth grade gori psychology teacher. This teacher would frequently tell us about her monster-in-law. Also, there's a movie called Monster-in-Law, lol. You should watch it. And you should also watch Meet the Parents if you haven't already. What I'm trying to say is that toxic in-laws are not an ucommon problem.
**Will you be living with your in-laws after marriage or will you and your husband be living separately? **If you both will be living separately, then that makes your life easier. If you both will be living with your parents, then you need to work on trying to bond with your MIL. If you'll be living with in-laws....then maybe after some time your husband himself might decide to move out. It's workable, Nadz. There are many girls who have toxic in-laws and most of them haven't ended their marriage because of it. You'll be fine.
I do not know why your MIL thinks that a girl raised in the UK will want to settle in Pakistan. In these cases, usually the guy moves to the UK/US/Canada from Pakistan. But instead of pointing the finger at your MIL for why she would assume you'd want to live in Pak...................why don't you think about why you went along with this rishta. Honey, you KNEW the expectations of this rishta from the very beginning................and you could have kindly rejected the rishta if the terms/conditions of this rishta seemed so disagreeable to you. Your parents don't seem like the kind who would force you against your wishes to marry someone in the first place. Also, your mom herself knew what your Moomani (MIL) was like and she also knew the terms of this rishta.............so your mom herself could have rejected this rishta instead of saying "yes" to sending you to live on the other side of the world.
Nadz.....you will be getting married soon. Pray namaz for guidance. It will also provide you with peace of mind. You are not married yet and already you're stressed out. The wedding preparations themselves can be hectic on their own. Think of it this way. Let's say that you go move to a new school......or maybe you're about to start a new job. In the beginning you're really nervous and you think that nobody will like you and that you won't fit in. And you start missing your old school, your old job, and your old life that was so FAMILIAR to you. But after a few weeks at this new school, new job........you slowly start adjusting and fitting in. Thing will fall into place, Nadia. You're just feeling nervous and that's natural. But this is something you'll have to go through....before things fall into place for you. You're a confident and smart girl, you'll be okay :)
I told you it’s the bridezilla effect, but no… abh aur agh lagao us ko 
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