The thread about desis not being friendly prompted me to start this one.
For the past couple of years we’ve been living in a predominantly “desi” area where I would estimate every third household being Pakistani Muslims. Because we live on a corner lot where the house pretty much faces away from the rest of the community, we don’t often have the opportunity to mingle. Our entrance is secluded as is our yard so even if we are out there, we don’t really see anyone.
I’ve interacted with a couple of ladies on my own street (because their car was stuck in snow and I did what I could to help) and a couple from the street over who drop their children to the same school bus stop that I drop my daughter every morning (I had said salam and exchanged phone numbers for emergency purposes on the very first day when the bus was late) but that’s about it.
I think that as a community we really should know each other and have a bit more interaction. (Mind you maybe they are all interacting and I’m the only one that’s not… … I guess I’ll find out.)
I want to do something special this year around Ramzan or Eid. Either a group iftaar or perhaps a barbeque event after Eid.
Has anyone every organized or participated in something like this?
How should I begin?
What are some of the pitfalls and things I should be careful of?
I’m keen to read your thoughts on how to go about it.
Been there, done that. Invite them to a dawat. Yes, they will come but be prepared a few might drop out at the last minute so over invite. People love having to go somewhere on eid so it's a good idea. You might want to do a little test drive dawat first if you are so inclined just to get a feel of it. Better not to do a pot luck if you can avoid it. This is the best way to mingle, invite them to dawats a few times, then they will invite you back, you will exchange numbers of others you may meet there who you like and so on.
Majority of desies are shy about initiating socialization.
If you want to mingle you will have to take initiative. Why do you want to wait till Ramazan and Eid. Invite them irrespective of if they reciprocate or not. Once you get to know them you will find out if they are worth having close friendship or not. You will have to start with a big group and ultimately you will have your own group of close friends.
Since I have moved around a lot all over US I have first hand experience to start all over again.
Don't scare her off. Yes, there will be a few frogs but you will find the prince(sess)
QUOTE=Decent 6Chora;10256559]dangerous.....very dangerous. Make sure you use your discretion when selecting desis for invitation. Just telling from personal experience :)
Dont keep hopes too high but you will be able to find few desis who go along well.
[/QUOTE]
Someone just mentioned about dropping them out last minute…That’s totally cool if there really is a legit reason BUT I say but …
One thing I don’t like about desis is…**Weather **as an excuse to not go somewhere!! Like why?? And it’s constant!!! I get if there is a snow storm or a tornado alert but even when its slightly cold, this gets thrown…arghhhhh
You have a car, legs and arms, alhamdulilah!!! get ample sleep at night so you can be where you need to be next day and ‘on time’ (please?)** double arghhh**
Has anyone every organized or participated in something like this?
Yes. Back in the days, we used to live in an apartment building. We had about 15 pakistani families who regularly kept in touch with each other. It was amazing having a close-knit desi community in "pardes". At least once every month, one or two families would jointly organize a quran khwani or bbq (in the summer) or a picnic/potluck (where we would all gather at the beach, play badminton, etc). It helped immensely that there was a park at the back of the building and most people used to come there for an evening walk.
With the exception of one or two aunties, who kept their distance, we never had this issue of pakistanis being cold and distant.
However, we now live in the suburbs and I totally agree that a lot of desis are hesitant at making friends. Not sure why that is. My mom is very social and she makes an effort to smile and initiate conversation with desi aunties in the street, but you can only do so much right! We are friends with a bengali aunty, an indian aunty, and an afghani aunty but the pakistani aunty who lives one house down from ours just keeps to herself.
I remember many years ago my parents block did this when we were kids. It was pretty much a pot luck and our street was really a court that backed onto a park - so that's where everyone decided to have it. It was fun and we met a lot of our neighbours, played with their kids and many people turned up. Everyone at least brought something to eat. We lived in a mixed area though so it wasn't just desis/Muslim families.. there was actually just one other Muslim family on the street and the rest was a mix of Christian/Buddhist/Sikh families. It was still fun to mingle and talk to everyone.
And I think it actually helped make our neighbourhood safer because people were more aware of who their neighbours were, and often if one family was out of town they let their neighbours know, and people would pitch in - like shovel their driveway if there was a snowstorm while they were gone, put aside overflowing newspapers for them, and just to make sure their home was safe from the outside. A couple of times we left for Christmas holidays as well and came back to see that our driveway was shovelled for us and it was such a sweet gesture.
… I guess I’ll find out.)
… and I have Pizza parties every weekend all alone!