Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
^oh this is the topic of my interest so am serious about it…damn serious!!
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
Grab him by the balls is what comes to mind after reading your thread title. Wow did I just sound like Yoda?
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
Imagine that you try the strategy and it backfires, ur husband realises ur trying to control him and take him away from his family, there wont be any qaboofying left then, actually, he'll start thinking everything you do is to control him or some kind of scheme.
why bother with all that, just let things be the way they are, at the end of the day if you love him, look after him and he still cheats or is disloyal to you then why waste your time on being with this person, have some self respect.
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
^ this. why play games or try to manipulate such a vital life line a spouse is. Just be your way. Be honest and sincere. if you are what a good wife should be, there is no reason he shouldnt be as good and thats all. Whats this evil thinking of qaboofying and wrapping around your finger. Shortcuts could be easy and winning, but they take away your peace of mind and the goodness of your soul. I dont see any reason we should have such a cheap bargain.
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
I said that because I felt that my friend might have been ingoring her responsibilities as wife as she was working (this I am not sure of) and the husband got to spend the whole day at the workplace with the colleague. I am NOT justifying the actions of the husband or saying . But I am forced to think what caused the husband to engage in an affair and physical relationship with his colleague within a year or so of his love marriage when the wife was expecting.
The qaboofying strategies I have been talking about actually meant caring and loving husband more than usual, being available to him, caring for the in-laws (of course not mandatory but just to create a strong bond with everyone including the husband) with the aim of strenghtening the marriage and not letting such incidents happen. If you think this is a jaahil soch, what can I say.
But yes you are justifying it and that's what makes your kind of thinking very backwards and, like aahmed said, "ghatya."
After all your justifications and "explanations" you still think the woman was not fulfilling her responsibilities as a wife because SHE GOT CHEATED ON.
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
But yes you are justifying it and that's what makes your kind of thinking very backwards and, like aahmed said, "ghatya."
After all your justifications and "explanations" you still think the woman was not fulfilling her responsibilities as a wife because SHE GOT CHEATED ON.
I can never say this because she is my friend and I know she must have been a very good wife. Still I am unable to know the reasons behind the strange behaviour of her husband within a year or so of their love marriage. What I mentioned was just one possibility (which is relevant to the topic of this thread) besides many other possibilities (which are not that relevant to the topic).
Anyways there is no point in arguing. Sometimes there is no explanation available for an instance and we are just left thinking about the reasons.
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
I can never say this because she is my friend
That makes it even more pathetic.
:)
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
you qaboofy your husband by being a loving, caring and honest person. if your in-laws are evil , he will see what is going on. And at the end of the day if you tell your husband the troubles you face and he just sits there like a lemon. Well then ... please use all alternative methods mentioned in various posts!
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
Jeeney na dena kisi bhi tarah 
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
I said that because I felt that my friend might have been ingoring her responsibilities as wife as she was working (
I know she must have been a very good wife.
Which is it? She was a good wife or she wasn't a good wife? Or are you trying to get to the point that she was working therefore she was not a good wife?
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
Which is it? She was a good wife or she wasn't a good wife? Or are you trying to get to the point that she was working therefore she was not a good wife?
I got to know about my friend's trauma only yesterday so I don't know the complete details. I am only talking on assumptions which are relevant to this thread of 'qaboofying' the husband. Being a friend, I can say that she must be a good wife. When analysing as a third party (without any bias), there is a possibility that MAY BE she had not been able to fulfil her responsibilities as a wife which led her husband to start an affair. I am NOT passing any judgement and please don't start bashing me. I thought this case was relevant to the thread so I discussed it here.
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
Ashy, I see where you're coming from...but let's say she wasn't able to fulfill her wifely responsibilities...perhaps time was an issue or lack of motivation, then the husband should sit down with her and discuss all of that...maybe help her with some inner troubles or distractions and help her overcome, not go out and start an affair which is not just morally wrong but also a grave sin. So I don't see why having an affair can ever be justifed.
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
Ok I think OP is just concerned about her friend and is sincere in helping her friend. Looking it from her friend’s husband’s point of view, I think only one year is very very short time to fall in love again. Maybe he was a wrong choice for your friend to start with. There are men, most of them, who are always interested, rather more interested in affairs after they are married. Maybe they want to delude themselves that they always have a chance. Still, if you think your friend was at fault by any chance, you need to counsel with her.
GS please stop this habit of taking the OPs to task. Bakhsh diya karo yaaro. 
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
So I don't see why having an affair can ever be justifed
QFT.
Be it a woman or a man, cheating is never ever justifiable. Concerning your friend's husband, why in the world was he just so desperate that he couldn't keep it in his pants?
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
Murg, what does QFT stand for? :O
Mirage, but that's part of a discussion to take the OP to task. When someone starts a thread, they should realize that they would be subject to criticism and evening bashing. That's just how public forums work. We do want to make sure we never personally insult or degrade an individual. That's just ethical.
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
To tell you all the truth, this case was more of a SHOCK to me as I thought rates of succes are more for love marriages as there is a greater understanding between the husband and wife as compared to arranged marriages. My friend’s husband’s behaviour cannot be justified and I am just trying to figure out the reasons. I may or may not be right. I have not been able to face my friend as I think I am not strong enough to counsel her. This whole case has led me confused with the marriage thing. If a husband can do such an immoral act within a year or so of a love marriage, what will happen in an arranged marriage? Well, I know it all depends on qismat. Its just that I am unable to think straight these days 
Just to remind you all, I will be going for an arranged marriage and already know a mom who likes me but her son is interested somewhere else and she is trying to force the son. Can’t imagine the outcomes of such arranged (or rather forced) marriages. Allah reham karay saari larkion per
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
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Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
Nikky QFT stands for Quoted For Truth.
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
Nikky QFT stands for Quoted For Truth.
I have read something similar to this to....thats like QFMFT...what does that mean??
Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband
quoted for m-f-ing truth 