strange relationship

Lifestyle Relationships
1

I have been engaged to my fiance for almost 4 months now, there was no love involved in this relationship and I only met him couple of times before engagement and I said yes to my parents, this rishta happened through someone, now I feel he is very opposit frm my nature, I am someone who is very reserved, calm and do not speak that much even with my siblings and parents, and he is someone who could talk for hours non stop, he love chatting about anything, now the problem is he expect me to talk to him the way he talks to me, go out with him, talk about future and all, his parents his brothers everyone is so nice to me and respect me alot, but he sometime gets really annoyed when I dont talk much or disagree over anything, I would hardly talk 10 minutes if I am with him for two hours and rest of the time he will do anything to get me in conersation, I dont do all that on purpose its just my natureI try my best to be as open as I can talking to him but he feels sometimes I m not happy with this relation although I assured him thousands of times that there is nothing like that, he is a very nice and caring towards me but he dont understand how I am like please advice me what should I do to overcome this problem

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Re: strange relationship

LOL so I talk tooo much, and he's quiet..er. Wanna trade?

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Re: strange relationship

when he said yes to his parents, didnt he not noticed that part of your personality? he should better learn to accept it as it is unless you r willing to change your personality (which i doubt)....if he gets annoyed now and need explanations from you... then it could get bad after marriage... u need to rethink and do your calculations during eng. period. how long u will be engaged for?

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Re: strange relationship


I swear on dead goat's soul when I saw you replying in this thread I just knew u would reply something along these lines.

weird no?

5

Re: strange relationship

It is not a relationship as yet. It is a good old fashioned engagement. If you want to turn it into a relationship then you and your fiancé’ will have to communicate and bring the relationship to a higher level , he will have to see what he likes and dislikes about your personality and what you like and dislike about his personality. Nobody is perfect.
If you want to master the art of conversation then there are thousands of books available on this subject . I read one book on this subject years ago published by reader’s digest which helped me a lot. I was a very shy person when it came to talking to people or making friends, I still am shy about talking to strangers to some degree but I have overcome lots of my handicaps about conversing with people.
P.S: visit this link to buy a book.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/002-8990803-9773607?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=art+of+conversation&x=12&y=22
Or visit this link for on line resources about the art of conversation.

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Re: strange relationship

Try to find something in common, something you like about him. In fact if there are too many things in common, you may run into more problems...remember in any successful relationship, spouses complete each other not compete with each other.

You guys are still getting to know each other. If you like him then you'll find a way to get through to him and vice versa.

If he is concerned about you, just explain to him that you're a quiet person but this doesn't mean you don't enjoy his company. It's always better to clarify and address issues as you go along.

You and him will become more easy with time.

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Re: strange relationship

Do you talk alot with your friends and siblings? If yes, then i would say, after getting married you will start feeling more comfortable adn talk to him more often. Things are different when you are engaged vs married.

On the other hand, if this is just your nature all together to be quiet than he should feel lucky that you listen to him and not have him listen to you all the time :D

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Re: strange relationship

That is the thing I dont even talk to my friends and siblings that much, I cant change my nature in days, Can I ? the thing hurt him more than anything else is that I am not expressive at all, I just cant tell him 24/7 that I love him, I do admire him as a person alot but I dont love him its just the liking, on the other hand he is very much open about what he feel for me and the things he likes about me, he ask me alot of questions about my likes and dislikes and I do it very rarely, He asked me if I was in any relation before getting engaged to him and I said no, when I asked him about his past he said he was dating with couple of girls in uni but it was nothing serious and I said ok, why should I go in details to ask about those girls? then he started going why I dont care who those girls were and what kind of relatinship I was sharing with them, he wants me to ask him questions the way he does, I always tell him I like to hear you and he goes ''mujhe bhi tumhe sunana acha lagta hai'' I try my best to speak as much as I can but cant really compete him in this field :-)
everyone in his family are the same, they have a very happening life and on the other hand I like things calm, I really dnt know wht to do

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Re: strange relationship

You gotta swear on a DEAD GOAT'S soul dont ya

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Re: strange relationship

Well its hard to find somebody who is like you and its not always good to have somebody like you marry you-LOL. But i don't think it should matter much if you are a quiet person and he is opposite of that. Also, it looks like you do try to talk more than you would actually like so he should actually be happy about that. Just make sure that he doesnt think that your talkin less means you dont have interest in him because i am getting a feeling that this is what bothers him more than actually your talking less. Let him know that you have always been like this and there is no other reason for you talking less.

I wouldnt worry much about this as its a new relationship and you both will need time to get use to each other's habbits. As long as the issue is just limited to talkin less vs talkin more you shouldnt stress much on it.

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Re: strange relationship

maher, if i was u i wouldnt worry about it to much...me and my fiance are the same except im the one that talks a lot, i found it so funny wen i read ur post and made me feel bad bcos im EXACTLY the same with him, i bug him soo much, ask him so many fazool questions, likes dislikes whereas hes so quiet- it does my head in! we used to argue about it allll the time, like i would go through how my day was- tell him every little detail and wen id ask him how his day was he would say 'it was ok..usual' it used to frustrate me soo much! so i started going quiet and would act like him- he noticed and sed that he didnt like it wen i didnt talk a lot lol which was nice! but he also added that if u notice most couples are like that- opposites as the other person makes up for what you dont have- so as a package u have everything...sounded really filmy wen he sed it but wen i thought about it and looked at other couples i found it to be really true, so now i talk like a radio and he listens and alhamdulilah we dont argue about it nemore...i felt really bad wen he sed 'u shud accept me for who and how i am and not try to change me'- as that wsnt my intention at all, i jus love to no everything about him, i think its a sign of love (yuck) and it makes life more fun- imagine if u ended up with someone who was quiet aswel??

my advice to u wud b stay how u r, dont change, but yes do make a effort, marriage is about compromise- if u no sumthing little wud make him happy e.g. if u shared ur feelings or opinions about sumthing, then do it, trust me ul b happy but at the same time if u feel uncomfortable with his continuous questions then tell him nicely, im sure he will totally understand.

sorry for waffling on! but seriously dont stress about it x x

Forbidden Fruit - Have you indulged?
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Re: strange relationship

Oh wow, we're the same way, im a chatterbox he's...not lol. it does get really frustrating for me sometimes.. im sure it annoys him too

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Re: strange relationship

I think after you get married you might become more comfortable with him..I talk all the time..and my other half doesn,t ..but it makes no difference in our relationship:)

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Re: strange relationship


I play safe ;-)

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Re: strange relationship

Evil you are free hmm..no studying..?? shaatan larki!:D

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Re: strange relationship

Hey Maher

Don't you know OPPOSITES attract and repel otherwise. :)

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Re: strange relationship

It's really hard to be with someone who is not expressive. .. it takes the pleasure out of a relationship.

Communicate with him more, and it doesnt have to be verbal.

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Re: strange relationship

Finally a girl who don't talk to much.
mehr don't worry you are a rare commodity, any one will be happy to have you in his life. Don't worry about "talk show host" kinds.

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Re: strange relationship

I'd say...Dump him and marry Knock Artist.. : 0-

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Re: strange relationship

I will be happy to have quit wife.

Plus your finance needs to know that life is long, once you have kids specially boys you will mostly yelling.

He would than remember day when you were quiet.