Opinion time:
At which age should parents stop interfering in matters of their kids; when should they stop keeping tabs on what we read, what movies we watch, when we return home etc? Do they ever realise that after 20 no one is a kid?
I might sound too irritated…but that is why I am asking for opinion.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
I think you can be middle aged and parents will still interefere or make their presence felt. It is not a age factor equation but more due to the fact that you will always be their child. They have a hard time letting go.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
when kids start exibiting responsible behavior
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
hmm....isn't degree of responsible behavior a relative thing?
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
they stop interfering when you pay your own bills.
I live away from home during term time for uni and they dont interfere, when im at home they interfere alot!
i know when im married/working and living independently of them they wont say much but they will always telll me what to do, not to do etc because they only want the best for me!
when should they stop keeping tabs on what we read, what movies we watch, when we return home etc? .
When you stop living in their house.
Really, apart from the fact that they are your parents, they are the owner of the house that you live in and it is their right to set the rules as they have to run the household. They cannot run it like a hotel where every person is entering or leaving whenever he/she wants to and eating when he/she wants to and what not.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
^ I don't agree with that. I think children and kids need some space and unless you are highly suspicious that they are doing something that is harmful to them or their character - you don't have a right to go read their diaries or follow them around like a stalker.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
When they pass that drug test . :D
But seriously. If my college going kids are matured enough to not watch only the porn movies or not reading only porn litrature , or they are not wasting their time in night clubs and bars and they give enough time to their studies and career then I would leave them alone.
^ I don't agree with that. I think children and kids need some space and unless you are highly suspicious that they are doing something that is harmful to them or their character - you don't have a right to go read their diaries or follow them around like a stalker.
giving them space and setting house rules are 2 different things.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
Depends on the issue they are interfering in.... 1. you still don't tell them you want to go poo poo.... 2. you want to divorce your wife 20 years into marriage.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
ok TLK. I understand where you are coming from, but if rules are such which take away the space, then?
I mean, if there is nothing to be suspicious of (i.e., nothing is out of norm) even then would they prefer to be pro-active and keep looking for something which *might **come up **someday *. Wouldn't this create a feeling of being interfered/monitored all the time?
I agree with njgal, but different perceptions of same things result in such a situations, which bothers kids, and they start becoming rebellious.
I mean, if there is nothing to be suspicious of (i.e., nothing is out of norm) even then would they prefer to be pro-active and keep looking for something which *might **come up **someday *. Wouldn't this create a feeling of being interfered/monitored all the time?
I am not saying that Parents are perfect. They are humans too and can and do make mistakes. If they are acting the way you just mentioned (being suspicious all the times) then yes they are over doing it and hurting their relationship with their kids.
I think as a kid, we should go and talk to them about this. Open communication resolves lots of issues and if parents cant initiate the communication then kids should.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
They should stop interfering by the time you go off to college.
In actuality, they stop interfering when you're financially holding your own. As long as they are able to keep giving you money, they get to control quite a bit. Unfortunately. Because once you're financially stable, you dont need to listen to them, and they know that. So they typically back off...plus, they dont want to lose a cash cow. They have to retire some day.
Well maybe dads work more like that. I am convinced my mother will never stop lecturing me.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
My mother didn't stop telling my brother what to do even after he was in his 50s.
It doesn't mean he obeyed.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
I think trust is vital here. If you have ur parents trust they will trust ur judgement to a certain degree. My parents dont interfere. If i need my space il make it clearly known and i get it. But thts a generalisation coz some parents find it hard to let go and some kids dont know how to grow up.
Re: Straightforward question…straight from the heart!
the fact you posted here tells us that ur still a kid 
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
Parents never stop interfering in their childrens' personal lives. I think the level of protectiveness goes down once you move out of their home...but not before that.
Opinion time: At which age should parents stop interfering in matters of their kids; when should they stop keeping tabs on what we read, what movies we watch, when we return home etc? Do they ever realise that after 20 no one is a kid? I might sound too irritated....but that is why I am asking for opinion.
It depends in which society you belongs to or where you are living ?? Interfering also depends on your kids type, if kid is a girl then your concern will be more careful then the boys. In my point of view parents must be very careful for their kids from the age of 15 to 23 (uptill the completion of their study) because this is the grooming age and if in this age any kids adopt some bad habits then it become very hard to stop it.
But one things is for sure (bitter truth) that when some kids become independent they hate any kind of advise from their parents and always prefer to take advise from their friends.
Re: Straightforward question…straight from the heart!
I think as long as you are within SIGHT of your parents - they will still nag you.
I had faced that issue too…
When I was living on campus, my mom would be “worry free” for some reason. Then when I would come back home on the weekends - I was basically not allowed to receive any calls 
and nor was I allowed to go anywhere - so to “discipline” me.
It NEVER made any sense to me, but she was comforted that I was well “behaved” in front of her. 
I don’t know why and how she could go worry free while I was at campus. I mean I could be doing anything I wanted over there right?
so in conclusion, from my experience I think as long as you are within your parents sight - they will feel that they are RESPONSIBLE for you, and therefore nag you.
The best solution is to find a place of your own.
Re: Straightforward question...straight from the heart!
I totally agree with NJMasti. It has to do with the presence and they get "over protective" specially after hearing stuff from friends in their circle and resultantly, we are more strictly monitored!