Re: Stealing from husband's money !
double post
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
.
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
You're amazing doing it all on your own!
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
.
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
.
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
+1 to this that you are amazing proto. Really I wish I get a wife as compromising as you mentioned yourself above but but I wont treat her the way u get treated. An ideal model.
Proto, I have also seen a few cases like this but the end is always bitter for the one who is cruel to the children. Believe me, in a very very short run, you will c for urself that your kids will grow up with utmost love and respect for you and your husband will miss affection in that part of his life.
He must realize that spending on one's immediate family is the best thing in world. And as some mentioned up there that this is a typical Pakistani man style: no it is not. Most man spend all they have on their wives and kids here. These are the very few who are kanjoos makhi choose, who don't share it with their wives and kids.
A pat on ur shoulder Proto. Keep up the good work if he doesn't.
One suggestion: Make him listen to some of Molana Tariq Jamil's bayaans. I know a person who hacked all his parents property and kept it only with him for like 12 years and after listening to Molana Tariq Jamil's bayan, distributed it amongst the siblings. Might that work.
You're amazing doing it all on your own!
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
.
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
This is not good. No one will come to pat his back when he will cough and spit and feel womble in legs while walking. So sad. Hmmm...I don't have a solution to this. No idea. May be you should talk him out to see some psychiatric where he himself practices.
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
Or may be you ask him that you want to see some psychiatrist for your own self and tell the psychiatric in front of him that whats going around. I think he needs someone else other than you to show him what he is doing.
My dads cousin was cruel to his kids coz his dad never loved him or was nice to him.
he said that in front of several family members.
Dnt cook husbands fav dish or cook wat he doesnt like. Works for me.
I kerp track of every cent he earns or we have as he has habbit of overusing creditcards.
He tells me ladies in pak dnt ask wat their husband earns or where he gets from. I said i rather keep track of a dollar than millions in haram income.
2nd those who dnt ask in our family they have several servants and wear designer clothes.
I dnt do anyof it so rather know wat you do.
Infact my hubby was typicall one too till few wrong decisions landed in years of agony. Nw before he thinks of anythinv he asks me and i have convinced him over time that i can not be wrong:D
He believes nw:cool:
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
proto you are very brave......i have been going through a similar situation but i dont think i have acted as wisely and as bravely as you have. wel done
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
Proto hats off to you. I don't believe there is a solution to your situation except what you are applying. I doubt he will change, perhaps there will be slight improvement over time. I know that the more years we put in, the better things get for the female. Allah is with the Patient. Bless you.
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
My apologies if I come across as naive/ignorant. Since you are one family unit, what is his is yours and vice versa. So if you spend more money, his saving increase. Zero sum game, right?
Another obvious solution comes to mind - why not have ALL accounts joint?
Proto, is the problem deeper? Is there a part of you that feels he is stashing the money away for HIS future. And not the future of the family unit. I am sure you have the answer ( no need to share here). Based on the answer, assuming the worst, work on addressing the root cause. Rest is only the symptom.
Good luck.
Apologies if I was way off track. And if I crossed any limits unintentionally.
Re: Stealing from husband’s money !
humaray ek jananay walay thay.. very well off per grossary ki cheezon ko b lock laga k rakhtay thay.. wife ko chai banay k liye b unn se ijazat leni parti thi.. unn ki death k baad unn ka beta apnay kuttay ko b K n N chicken dalta hae .. jo sakhs apni zindagi mein apnay aklotay betay ko acha khila nai saka aaj uss ki dolat kutton k ooper lag rai hae.. this is 100% fact..
bills and school fees are your hubby’s responsibility.. let electricity disconnected and children beind struck off from school.. some people learn the hard way.. ghar mein agar aap k husban k paison se sirf daal chatni bun sakti hae to sirf wohi banaein.. dont worry about kids.. they will only learn how to handle situations in life..
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
.
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
proto you are very brave......i have been going through a similar situation but i dont think i have acted as wisely and as bravely as you have. wel done
it is not about bravery or acting wise reidi..it is all about having patience ONLY for the sake of peace in your home,for sake of your kids !
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
My apologies if I come across as naive/ignorant. Since you are one family unit, what is his is yours and vice versa. So if you spend more money, his saving increase. Zero sum game, right?
That would be the case if both sides are completely transparent with each other. What I just find simply mind-boggling to say the least is the fact that Proto does not even know her husband's monthly income. So she has no idea whether there is a huge chunk of money that her husband is keeping to himself every month or not. And she also doesn't know what he does with that surplus money, ie whether he is saving it for "the family" or spending it elsewhere.
That lack of transparency on her husband's part is the actual issue. Everything else that follows is related to that.
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
Open and check his bank statements when they come home.
Its crazy not telling your wife how much you earn.
Also don’t tell him how much you make if he is not willing to share.
All the household karcha and kids school etc, keep receipts and
and go through with him when he gives you karcha next time. Ask him how am I meant to
make ends meet in the money you give?
If all fails, ask him to run the house for 2 months
Re: Stealing from husband's money !
Understood. I think you are doing all you can. God Bless.
Re: Stealing from husband’s money !
baaz aooo