Staying single

Lifestyle Relationships
1

In case someone wants to stay single .Is it acceptable by the society ?

2

Re: Staying single

it depends where you live.

3

Re: Staying single

Well definatelt NOT!

To be honest, i have thought about it :bummer:. i know its not a decision that wud make my parents (they r the only ones who really matter 2 me) happy especially my mom would not take it well but my dad would be kinda ok with it. Infact when i once said something like this 2 him, he was like if u think u can carry on with yr life like this without going astray then by all means go ahead dnt marry. But the thing is its not like i don’t want to marry but i don’t want to marry a wrong person or into a wrong family just for the sake of getting married…if you know what i mean. I know everyone has to compromise n adjust but when you are not sure of somebody then its always better to take your time instead of rushing into it. I have seen people especially girls marrying, actually their parents getting them married off jaldi jaldi in the fear that if they get above a certain age it would be difficult for them to find anyone at all. But i am actually not in favor of it and all of it boils down to your Imaan. If it’s in your destiny to get married you will, your job is to be efficient in the process that would enable you to find a good match however it shouldn’t be made a matter of life and death.

One of my most constant dua is that i want to marry happily, never gonna go into a marriage where my heart is not totally into it iA. And just recently i have gotten another dua for myself which is that if i am gonna end up as a churail bahu/biwi like most girls are nowadays, i rather not get married. It’s better to lead a not very “happy” life myself instead of making life hell for another family.

4

Re: Staying single

Desi society doesn't approve of girls staying single. One of my aunties stayed single single since she was engaged to her cousin who left for US and got married there and she decided not to marry ever. The life has been difficult for her, all her siblings being settled and everyone not being there for her. Although she has been having a good career, she basically doesn't have a family of her own, her husband and her children.

Desi parents have a fear of what will happen to their daughters if they remain single since they know their sons and bahus cannot be the family which their daughters will need after the death of the parents. Girls might take a decision to stay single, but usually time can tell whether they will regret their decision or not.

5

Re: Staying single

nah .

6

Re: Staying single

it’s cool how you started out with the answer that was expected of you and then you said everything i was thinking after “to be honest” :slight_smile:

the third paragraph, i have not come across a girl that’s like this yet, well the only other married girl i know is my sis-in-law and she’s easygoing and tries to integrate into any group she’s in and that’s how i am too. love her lots

7

Re: Staying single

:)

That 1st sentence was answering if the society would accept it or not. The latter part was what i feel about it :)

8

Re: Staying single

Nuns?

9

Re: Staying single

who will open your cans and bottles for you? what about spiders in the shower?

10

Re: Staying single

Give me 10 years , and I'll let you know.

11

Re: Staying single

^ :chai:

12

Re: Staying single

Yes acceptable of course..but ya gota understand everyone needs partner. And this is only natural..

13

Re: Staying single

Desi society (any place in the world:) )

My thoughts exactly(well most of it with few difference)

Does ur aunt regret her decision?
Girls can adopt kids too if they want?no?

They do it for a religious reason…wht im talking abt isnt for religious reasons.

:smack:

By choice?

14

Re: Staying single

Yes, she regrets not getting married.

Its usually difficult for single women in desi culture to adopt children. They can adopt children of their siblings but its not always easy.

15

Re: Staying single

I would advice no one to (try to) stay single. We all have biological needs and if we already do not have a halal outlet available, there is a very good chance that we will sway towards a sin.

16

Re: Staying single

Well then tell desi men living in western countries to quit importing brides and look around to find local women.

Otherwise, don't blame me for setting up shack with some hottie gora pakora. If my community is going to do NOTHING for me - i.e. no single events in my local community, muslim families wanting their sons to marry someone 25 or younger, having retarded requirements like she has to be fair as snow white...(hello, we're all BROWN. If we're white, we're anemic, or albino), or having unrealistic requirements like "drop your job so you can massage my son's feet". etc etc, then no, I'm not going to end up getting married to a desi/muslim guy, and therefore, when someone comes along and decides to live with me and maybe he's not muslim, then dont get peevy at me for being some whore.

I know I know. Here PCG goes on her rant, but this is a serious issue - go to any single mixer event, or go online to these dating sites, and there are REALLY ELIGIBLE pretty girls who are in their late 20's early 30's and many even who are in their mid to young-20's looking for a husband and I don't get it...the guys on there are all like "well it's so hard to find a girl...."

What the heck? Are you BLIND?

17

Re: Staying single

Why are you so uptight about marrying a desi man? Why cant you marry a black Muslim from Somalia?

18

Re: Staying single

Because they are pirates :(

19

Re: Staying single

That is a generalization, right? So if desi guys do a generalization and think that its better to marry a desi girl from pakland, then why is that wrong?

20

Re: Staying single

I agree with PCG.

Sometimes, staying single is not a choice. Its being imposed on us if guys and their families are being very very strict in selecting girls for marriage.