Re: Staying in a volatile marriage…divorce rate going up
I believe in most of the cases it’s never known and the guy has an affair. Guys are good at that so what do you’ve to say in that regard?
As far as men in general are concerned there are many different types of men out there.
1- Who are satisfied with one woman/wife and sustain and carry on the relationship/marriage.
2- Who don’t feel satisfied with one woman/wife but still sustain and carry on the relationship/marriage.
3- Who are satisfied initially with a woman/wife but later on feel the urge to have more but still sustain and carry on the relationship/marriage.
4- Who are not satisfied with one woman/wife even on the initial stage and seek for more and usually don’t carry on the relationship/marriage.
5- Who are partially satisfied but seek more but still sustain and carry on the relationship/marriage.
6- Who are partially satisfied but don’t carry on the relationship/marriage.
There can be more of such kind.
Men are volatile and that’s a bitter truth. On the other hand women are more emotionally stable and loyal.
As far as making relationship work is concerned it depends on what is the stage of your relationship/marriage at that given time. If you’re a mother of kids and your husband cheats on you then your options are different than of a woman who doesn’t have kids.
Same applies to the men.
Next thing is what matters to you and what not. There are women who don’t even like their husbands having a simple conversation with another woman and there are women who don’t mind their husbands going out with their female colleagues.
Same applies to men.
When someone cheats it’s his/her matter with Allah. As far as your relationship with that person is concerned you need to see what happened in details in order to take the final decision. As I said men are volatile and in some cases men are seduced and led to stuff like that by other women in their social circles but sometimes men go for it by themselves.
The core of cheating is always dissatisfaction. And more than sometimes the responsibility goes to the woman/wife.
The example you gave of the woman who’s still married to her cheating husband is her personal choice or her circumstances didn’t helped/allowed her to take any extreme measures. The reasons could be many but in our desi societies once a woman is married and have kids her options of going back to being single again and then having a new marriage are really difficult practically speaking. Many women in such cases chose to be silent and die with in themselves which is really sad.
The reason of such problems is men’s exposure but most of all the way they were created. Men were created to have more than one women naturally speaking. And the modern world’s idea of giving men only one woman is the biggest cause of this problem.
I know how I might be sounding to a lot of people right now but that’s a fundamental reality either digest it or puke it choice is yours. Men who stay loyal to a single woman they really deserve an award but men who don’t they’re basically following their natural instincts and it also depends upon how much sexual a man is.
There have been many cases where women themselves admit that they can’t satisfy their men/husbands. In addition to that women now a days try to control the relationship and specially the intimate part of the relationship which is also a big reason of men cheating.
And please don’t call anyone stupid if they’re doing something because that’s their choice if you’d want to get divorce in that scenario nobody would stop you and you can totally do that. But you need to understand the fact that situations/circumstances change/affect your decisions.
And the last part which is the abusive part of a relationship again you need to see what’s the cause. If a person is abusive from the very first day then it’s a deal breaker. But if that person later on the relationship/marriage became abusive then both of the parties need to be interrogated thoroughly.
I have seen men who cheated but felt sorry and meant it and they never did that again. You need to know what is your flexibility and how much you value your relationship knowing the fact that you’re married to a creature which were created to seed and are extremely volatile and unstable.